Beauty and the Beast
by uesmanhattansocialite
Summary: Rewrite of the last scene between Chuck and Blair in 4x20. They have a long way to go if they ever want what they once had. Can Chuck Bass finally man up and be who Blair deserves? If you don't want to see Chuck redeem himself, don't read this story.
1. Chapter 1

**Beauty and the Beast**

Author's Note: Last night's episode was so intense that I was really disappointed the way it ended. I kept wondering how it could have gone differently so I started writing and this is what I wrote. If you couldn't tell I'm a diehard Chair fan who will never lose faith in them as endgame, no matter what roadblocks they may face along the way.

I couldn't help thinking that if Chuck hadn't attacked Blair the way he did he might have had a chance with her. After all, she wasn't wearing the engagement ring from Louis when she went to his apartment. And I hate how people are saying he was going to rape her, he wasn't. He got a bit rough with her but when she said stop he did and he punched the glass above her, not her. And the look on his face when he realized what he did was heartbreaking.

So, the following is how I wish the episode ended, or rather not ended. I want to say that I do not condone the violence that we saw on the show in any context and in my story there will be none of that. And please remember, this is me rewriting the end of 4x20 so forget how the episode ended as you read this.

I hope you enjoy and I look forward to reading your reviews =)

_Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl, or Ed Westwick – sigh. _

**May 5, 2011**

Blair didn't know why she was on her way to see Chuck but she was. When he asked her at the party to tell him where her heart truly was, she couldn't answer. As much as she wanted it to be with Louis it wasn't, it never would be. No matter how much she fought it, her heart would always lie with Chuck Bass, it always did.

She was so desperate to put him in her past that she made a fool of herself with the way she acted with Louis. He was such a good man and she would be lucky to marry him, but she wasn't in love with him. Not the way she felt for Chuck, that all-consuming passion that never died.

What Serena said to her about her prince and his empire always being in Manhattan struck a chord with Blair and she didn't want to admit that her best friend was right. Chuck was her other half and always would be but that didn't mean she was ready to be with him again. The thought of Serena defending Chuck over her hurt so she desperately insisted that he brought her nothing but misery and that it was Louis who finally made her happy.

Once in the solitude of her bedroom, Blair allowed herself to think about the two men who were fighting for her affection. One was the prince she left behind in Paris and the other was the man she ran to. Louis was the person who filled all of her criteria perfectly but no matter how she tried to force it, he would never live up to how Chuck made her feel. On the other hand, Chuck did bring her nothing but misery as of late. But he was different, she knew all about his dark side and loved him in spite of it. She told him after his father's funeral that she would always stand by him and her heart was telling her that he needed that support more than ever now.

She was broken out of her thoughts when she heard a knock on the door. Blair expected it to be Chuck but it was Louis. He told her that he didn't care what his family thought as he dropped to one knee and proposed. She was desperate to say yes, but she couldn't. He could see that he wasn't the one she wanted and as much as it hurt him to, he told her to follow her heart. Blair told him that her heart was with him but even she didn't believe it.

The prince told her that he wouldn't bring any more humiliation to her by having people know the real reason why they didn't get engaged. Louis said he would have his handlers let word get out that the family pressure was too much and he retreated back to the safety of Monte Carlo to ride out the scandal. With a kiss to her hand and a sad smile on his face, Louis Grimaldi gracefully exited Blair Waldorf's life.

**XOXO**

Chuck sat in the dark with yet another glass of scotch, feeling sorry for himself. He was certain that Blair still loved him and would come back to him as soon as he asked her to. But he was wrong, she would rather be with some prince that she didn't love than him.

He hated himself for always destroying his chances with Blair but was resigned to live a life of misery. What right did he have to be happy? Chuck Bass wasn't a good person, he was selfish and he was destined to fail from the time he was born. His mother was a lying whore and his father was a self-serving bastard who as it turned out was also a cold-blooded murderer.

"What's wrong with you, man?" Nate asked when he walked into the apartment to see Chuck in the corner, drinking again. "Haven't you put Blair through enough?"

"Leave me alone," Chuck slurred as Nate made his way towards him. "Don't you have a date with Raina to get to so you can stab me in the back even more?"

"You're drunk," Nate stated, "So I'll let that go. And as much as I like Raina, you've been my best friend for years. I'm on your side here. But get your act together and start acting like the decent person we know you can be, when you're not smashed."

Chuck snorted as his friend just took in the disheveled condition of him and went to the bar to empty each decanter of liqueur one by one.

"Hey," Chuck barked as he tried to stand up but couldn't, "Do you have any idea how much those cost?"

"Yeah, I do," Nate said as he continued until the bar was dry. "And you'll thank when you're sober."

Nate left him with the half-filled glass in his hand before closing the door to his room, leaving Chuck alone in the darkness once more.

**XOXO**

As Blair stepped off the elevator and into Chuck's apartment, she was still questioning her motives. She knew he would be drunk and not in his right state of mind but that didn't stop her from having to see him.

She looked around the darkened living room when he spoke from behind her, "You came."

"You humiliated me tonight, Chuck," Blair said as he remained on the bench with the glass of scotch in his hand. "How could you?"

"How could I?" he asked as he stood up only to sway and fall right back down. "How could you think of marrying someone other than me?"

"When are you going to think about me for once?" she asked. "Did it ever cross your mind how your actions would affect me? Do you even care?"

"Of course I care. The only thing that's ever been real is you and me," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "And you know that. That's why you came back to me."

"I didn't come back to you," she told him. "I only came here to make sure you hadn't died from alcohol poisoning."

"Did you sleep with the prince?" Chuck asked venomously as he made his way to her, getting so close to her that she could smell the alcohol radiating off him.

"Yes, I did," she told him as she maintained eye contact with him.

"Then get out," he said in a dangerously low voice.

"No," she said as she stood her ground. She came to see him for a reason and she wasn't leaving until she did what she came for.

"Get out," he screamed as he threw his glass against the wall, shattering it into little pieces that fell to the floor.

"How dare you judge me for making love with Louis," Blair yelled back. "After everyone you've fucked you have no right."

"Blair," he said softly as her words hit him where it hurt, even under all the booze.

"No," Blair told him with fire in her eyes. "You fucked Gothic Barbie and then you disappeared. I spent that whole summer worrying about you, hoping you were okay. And what happened when I found you? You were playing house with some hooker that you then brought back to my city to torment me with. Even when you told me we were meant to be you still didn't wait."

"Blair," he said again wanting to say anything to calm her down, to calm him down.

"I'm not done yet," she told him heatedly. "After enjoying your sex games in the rainforest you began fucking Raina Thorpe in an effort to save Bass Industries. How did that go for you, Chuck? Are you happy? Do you think you've finally made Bart proud of you?"

"Bart's not who I thought he was," Chuck said as he reached for her. "He's more of a cold-hearted bastard than I knew."

"Like father like son," Blair stated as she pulled away from him.

She knew that was low but she went there anyway. The hurt shone in his eyes as she continued her verbal assault on him.

"Louis asked me to marry him," she told him.

"I don't see a ring on your finger," he said.

"That's because I couldn't say yes," Blair revealed as she kept her face impassive. "I'm a free woman, Bass."

A smile crept onto his face as he took the ring box out of his pocket and reached for her. He was about to kneel when she stopped him with a hand on his chest.

"This," Blair said as she took the open ring box from him and put it on the bar, "Is not helping you. This ring has too many bad memories attached to it. I'll never say yes to it, or you in this state."

"Come back to me," he pleaded as he tried to kiss her only to have her pull back once more.

"Not like this, Chuck, not now," she said. "I've spent too much time trying to forget about you that I forgot about me too. I've made a fool of myself and I need to be on my own and focus on becoming the powerful woman I always wanted to be. If you want me, you'll wait for me this time. You won't sabotage me or make any underhanded deals on my behalf."

"No revolving door of one-night stands, no more liquid diets," she continued. "If you want me, you need to show me you've changed. Don't become your father, Chuck. You're so much better than that."

Blair turned on her heels and was back in the elevator before he could react.

Chuck was left standing there against the bar for support, mulling over what Blair just said to him. Could she really take him back after everything he put her through? Would he be able to get his act together so that he was worthy of her? Even with his entire system full of alcohol he knew that this was his last chance to win Blair back.

"What are you waiting for, buddy?" Nate asked Chuck as he came out of his room. "Fight for her."

_**Please review to let me know you'd like to read more. **_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Author's Note: Thank you for all of your feedback, it is very appreciated. Jack Bass will not be making an appearance in my story nor will the Thorpes be involved.

I want to once again reiterate the purpose of me writing this story. Yes, Chuck came off as a violent misogynist at the end of episode 4x20 and I hated that the Gossip Girl writers took his character there. They've effectively assassinated his character and in doing so have destroyed the progress he has made throughout the series, all thanks to the influence of Blair Waldorf in his life.

In no way, shape, or form do I condone violence. I too was appalled at how Chuck acted in the last episode, but seeing as Gossip Girl is only a television show and Chuck and Blair have always been my favorite couple on it, I wanted to fix the damage the writers have done in my own way, by writing about it.

This story is my way of recreating the Chuck/Blair interaction we saw into something less violent and something that could lead Chuck Bass down the road to redemption. It shows Chuck realizing that he's gone too far and owning up to his mistakes. He begins his path to becoming a better person in this chapter and the chapters to follow will elaborate on his progress as well as Blair finally becoming the powerful woman she's destined to be.

Let me ask you this, was Chuck violent in my story? No, he was not. Did he physically hurt Blair in my story? No, he did not. And that is because I didn't want to see it so I didn't write that way.

Those of you who left feedback about wishing this was how the show went, thank you. I hope you continue to understand the direction I'm taking the characters in and I look forward to your reading your further comments on this chapter.

_Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl, or Ed Westwick – sigh. _

**May 6, 2011**

After her talk with Chuck, Blair decided it would be best if she spent the summer with her father and Roman in France. She could email her last final and if she were honest with herself, New York was the last place she wanted to be.

Harold was ecstatic when his daughter called him and said she wanted to spend the entire summer with him and Roman at their villa. She sounded upset but he didn't want to pry over the phone so he told her that he'd have a jet ready for her to leave within a few hours. Blair was overjoyed that she would have the change of scenery and wasted no time in packing.

Dorota was extremely worried as her mistress went from prepping to be the next Princess of Monaco to packing to spend a quiet summer with her father in the south of France.

"Why you leave, Miss Blair?" her trusty maid asked. "Does this have something to do with you know who?"

"It most certainly does not, Dorota," Blair said indignantly. "I haven't seen daddy since last summer and is it so hard to believe I want to spend time with him?"

"Of course not, I just find timing too coincidental," she said with a look as she continued packing Blair's shoes.

"Knock, knock," Nate said with a smile as he stood in the doorway. "Can we talk, B?"

"Go away, Nate," Blair told him as she dismissed Dorota and continued packing. "I'm busy."

"I think you got through to him," Nate said as he sat at her desk.

"What does it matter?" she asked him. "He's so far gone that I don't know when I'll see the Chuck I remember."

"I know what you mean," he said. "This is the worst I've ever seen him, and we've seen him bad before."

Blair just looked at him blankly as he continued, "I get that you can't be with him now but from what I heard you tell him, you don't want anyone else either."

"It doesn't matter anymore, everything's gotten to be too much," she said. "Things need to change, I need to change."

"So you're leaving?" Nate asked as he sat on the edge of her bed.

"No," she told him, "I'm visiting daddy for the summer. I'll be back for classes in September. I just need to be somewhere else right now."

"It's time that I focused on me, figure out what I want to do after college," she said. "Maybe in a few years Chuck will finally be ready to join the human race as a normal, functioning human being. Until then I'm only going to focus on me and my future. I've spent too much time on Chuck, no more time will be wasted on him until he proves he's worthy."

"I get that, I do," he said sadly. "But I want you to know I'm here for you. Stay in touch with me this summer. Maybe I can visit you at the villa."

"I don't know," she said uneasily as she zipped up the last of her luggage.

"I'm not going to tell Chuck where you are," Nate assured her. "I won't tell anyone. You can trust me, B."

"Thank you," she said quietly as he pulled her to him for a hug.

"I love you, Blair," Nate told her as he kissed the top of her head. "You're one of my best friends, you always will be."

"Call me when you plane lands," he requested as she pulled back. "I need to know you're okay."

"It'll be a long time until I'm okay," Blair said. "But thanks for coming over. It was good talking with you."

"Anytime," he said as he picked up two of her bags. "I'll ride with you to the heliport, keep you company."

"I love you, too, Archibald," she said as she grabbed her coat and purse before walking with Nate to the waiting town car outside.

**XOXO**

Chuck woke up the next morning to sunlight streaming in the windows of the Empire. His head was pounding and he felt like he had been hit with a truck ten times over. Even with his hangover though, he was able to piece together everything that happened the night before.

He remembered Nate draining the bar as he reached into his nightstand to find his coke stash gone. He rolled back onto the bed with a groan. If Nate found that he probably had every drop of alcohol and ounce of coke removed from the apartment as well.

"You can thank me whenever you want," Nate said as he stood in the now open doorway. "It's all gone, by the way. I found everything."

"Why would I thank you for flushing fifty grand down the drain?" Chuck asked venomously as he covered his eyes.

"Maybe because it's amazing you're still alive this morning after all you've taken," Nate said as he leaned against the doorframe. "Any normal person would be dead, or in the hospital needing to have their stomach pumped."

"I've built up a tolerance over the years," Chuck said with cockiness.

"Yeah, not something you should be proud of," Nate told him as he crossed his arms. "And drop this act about not caring, we both know it's bullshit."

"Cut to the point, Archibald," Chuck stated with irritation. "Because if you don't have one, I'd like to go back to sleep."

"Listen, man," Nate said as he got more and more aggravated with his friend's blasé attitude about his horrible downward spiral as of late, "I'm here for you but you've got to get your ass out of bed and stop wallowing in self-pity. You brought this all on yourself."

"You're not very good at this pep talk thing, Nathaniel," Chuck told his friend.

"I'm not trying to give you a pep talk, Chuck," Nate said. "I'm trying to get you to do the right thing. You've hit rock bottom, more so than you ever have. But you aren't alone, I'm here for you. I'm sure Serena will be, too. As for Blair, from what I heard her say to you last night, she's not done with you either. I'm not sure why but she's not."

"How touching," Chuck sneered as he rolled over to avoid the sunlight hitting his eyes.

"Snap out of this," Nate told his friend angrily. "You're Chuck Bass. Show the world you're better than this, that you're not some drunken lech. Do what Blair asked you to do and fight for her."

"And how would I do that?" Chuck asked as he stared at Nate.

"You have to figure that out yourself," Nate told him as he shook his head. "Find your balls and do what needs to be done. Don't let Bart win."

Nate left on that note and closed the door with a bang, leaving Chuck to wince from the noise that was only compounded with the ever-blinding sunlight.

**May 16, 2011**

It took Chuck ten days before he felt ready to leave his apartment at the Empire and face Blair again. Nate made himself scarce during that time but made sure room service was sent up three times a day for his friend. He said little to Chuck and usually just responded when he was directly spoken to.

As Chuck stood in front of the mirror while he shaved off the beard that grew on his face, he barely recognized the man staring back at him. This time last year he was in the same predicament. He made the stupid decision to use Blair as leverage to get back the Empire from Jack. If he had it to do all over again he would have let Jack keep the damn hotel. Blair was irreplaceable and what he did this time was something he didn't know if he could ever recover from.

Standing in his suit and sober for the first time in a month, Chuck felt somewhat more human but the filth he still felt at how he acted towards Blair remained with him. He knew what needed to be done but was scared and needed to talk to Blair before he could go through with it. She was the only person that understood him and always loved him and he needed her to know he wanted to change for her.

Arthur drove him to the Waldorf's apartment and Chuck had to take a steadying breath as the door to the limo opened before he stepped out. His heart was in his throat as the elevator made its way up to the penthouse. He didn't see anyone when he stepped off so he decided to see if Blair was in her room.

"She's gone, Chuck," Serena told him when she saw him climbing the stairs.

"When will she be back?" he asked as he made his way to where his stepsister was.

"I don't know," she said. "She was gone the morning after the party. Half of her closet is empty so it could be a while before she's back."

"What?" Chuck said as he sunk to the top step, distraught that she up and left in the middle of the night.

"When Louis left that night, she left shortly after him," Serena said. "I assumed it was to go after him but based on what I've seen in the papers I know she didn't."

"She came to see me," he told her as his elbows rested on his knees and he covered his face with his hands. "And I was in no shape to talk with her like I should have been."

"That you weren't," she said as she sat next to him. "Do you remember what happened?"

"You mean do I remember crashing the prince's party and making a fool of Blair and myself?" he asked with shame across his face. "Yes, I do."

"Well that's good, right?" Serena said in an effort to cheer up her stepbrother. "You didn't black out. What happened with Blair?"

"She told me the prince proposed but she couldn't say yes," he said as he looked at his feet.

"Chuck," she said as she put her hand on her back, "She still loves you. I know you love her."

"But too much happened, I've ruined us," he told her. "Blair told me I have to get my act together and wait for her this time."

"You need to do that if you want her back," she said. "Blair was always the one working to keep you happy, now it's your turn to keep her happy."

"She told me she wants to be a powerful woman," he let her know, "On her own terms."

"Don't even think of interfering, Chuck Bass," Serena warned as she slapped his arm. "When you did that at the photo shoot it blew up in your face. You were so close to getting her back then, too."

"Thanks for bringing that up, sis," he said wryly as he gave her a sideways glance.

"I'm trying to get you to see your mistakes," she told him. "And get you to learn from them and not make the same ones again."

"You really think I'm capable of that?" he asked doubtfully.

"Yes," she told him. "Now you need to believe you are."

"Come on," Serena said as she pulled Chuck to a standing position. "We need to talk to mom about this."

"Why are you being so nice to me?" he asked his stepsister as she looped her arm through his and led him down the stairs to the elevator.

"Because, you're family," she told him. "And you've been there for me when I've needed it."

Chuck looked close to tears as they stepped in the elevator. "Don't worry," she said, "Mom will know what to do."

_**Please review if you'd like me to continue. **_

_**My goal with this story is to show growth in both Blair and Chuck and have them do so separately before they can even fathom a future together. If you have any ideas about what you'd like to see, please let me know. **_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Author's Note: Thank you all so much for your continued support of this story. I'm so glad you like Nate and Serena stepping up to support Chuck and Blair. It really bothered me that on the show they weren't supportive of their friends who've supported them in the past. I correct that in this story.

I can't even say how sad I am with the direction the writers have taken on the show. And as much as I want my happy Chair reunion, it will be a long time before it's believable. I've decided to show Chuck and Blair on their own before we see them together at all in this story again.

Chuck needs to get his life in order and sober up for good before he can think of reuniting with Blair again. He also needs to get back in control of Bass Industries, not to mention cutting the Empire loose once and for all. I hate that place after all that's happened there, such bad juju, ugh. And Blair deserves to find the life path that will make her happy before she can even think of inviting Chuck back into the life she's creating for herself.

I also wanted to get this chapter out before 4x21 airs as I don't want to be swayed from the current plotline I'm working on. From what I've read we could be getting a Chair reunion or the writers just take a sick pleasure in toying with us (which I'm sure they do). Anyways, I hope you continue to like this version of the Chair saga and I look forward to your feedback.

For the purpose of this story, Charlie is no longer in NYC. She won't be mentioned and it doesn't matter as I still don't understand why her character was even introduced to us in the first place. Let also pretend that Lily didn't totally snub Chuck during her "family photo shoot" because in this story she will be the supporting mother figure, albeit from her apartment on house arrest.

_Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl, or Ed Westwick – sigh. _

**May 6, 2011**

"It's so good to have you here for the summer, Blair bear," Harold said as he and Blair walked into the villa from getting her from the airport.

"Blair," Roman exclaimed as he embraced her. "It is so good to have you with us. Come, I have our tea all set up on the terrace."

She smiled as he took her hand and led her back outside, so happy to be with them for the summer.

Once they were all seated and Roman served them their tea, Harold spoke.

"Are your courses all finished now?" he asked.

"I just have to email my last paper," she told them. "I finished writing it on the plane and want to reread it one more time before I submit it."

"Then you're free for the summer," Roman said happily as he raised his champagne flute to her. "I propose a toast. To spending the summer together."

"I'll drink to that," Harold smiled as Blair raised her glass to them.

After a bit of small talk, Harold asked the burning question about the giant elephant in the room.

"What happened with Louis?" her father asked. "You seemed happy with him."

"We moved too fast," Blair told them with no emotion in her voice. Looking back now, she was grateful that she wasn't engaged to the prince. She didn't love him and she knew she never would. "And his family never would have approved of me."

"Is that the only reason?" Harold implored further. "Because I've never known my Blair bear to give up on something she wants."

"Harold," Roman chided, "He isn't the one she wants."

"What are you talking about?" Harold asked before turning to his daughter. "Is that true?"

"It is, but I'd rather not talk about that," she said. "Not now, at least."

"Of course, mon cherie," Roman said as he put his hand on her back and shot Harold a look. "Tell us about Columbia."

"I've finally decided on a major," she said with the first real smile they'd seen from her since she arrived. "Pre-law."

"Well, I certainly didn't see that coming," Harold said with a smile. "I was certain that you'd follow in your mother's footsteps and go into fashion."

"That's what I thought, too," she told them. "But when I was at W I realized that's not what I wanted. With law I have so many directions I could go with. I want to make some calls this summer and see if I can set up an internship for the fall. This is something I really want and I want to start as soon as possible."

Harold smiled as he wrapped his arm around his daughter's shoulders, "Whatever will make you happy sounds wonderful to me."

"Thank you, daddy," she told him as she took a bite of her macaroon, wondering how long, if ever, she could get through a day without wondering about Chuck Bass.

**May 16, 2011**

"It just going to be us, mom, and Eric," Serena told him as they their way up to the van der Humphrey apartment. "Rufus and Dan are at the loft."

"You're doing the right thing," she assured him as she looped her arm though his again.

"I hope so," Chuck said uneasily. This decision was the most difficult one he ever had to make but it was also the easiest. Nate was right-on when he told him he hit rock bottom. A treatment facility was the only place that could bring him closer to the person he once was, the man that Blair was proud to show off as her boyfriend. He had to get back to that place, not just for Blair but also for himself.

"Oh, Charles," Lily exclaimed as she pulled Chuck to her for a hug as soon as he stepped off the elevator. "I've been so worried about you. How have you been?"

"I've been better," he said as she led him to the living room.

"Hey," Eric said softly as he gave Chuck a hug. "It's good to see you."

"You, too," Chuck said as he sat next to Lily on the couch. Serena sat on the other side of him and Eric took a seat in the armchair.

"I'm checking myself into the Ostroff Center, Lily," Chuck told his stepmother, not wasting any time in cutting straight to the reason he was there.

"What?" she asked with surprise. "Why?"

"Mom," Eric said quietly as all eyes turned to him, "If Chuck says he needs treatment, he needs it. Just support him."

"Of course I support him," Lily huffed. "You're my son, and I love you, Charles. But why now?"

"Blair," her name was all he could get out before he stopped talking as he felt his throat closing up again.

Chuck looked to Serena who took that as permission to tell Lily about what happened. "Do you remember that party the prince had that Blair was so excited about?"

"Yes, I do," Lily told her.

"Well," Serena elaborated, "Word was that the prince was going to propose to Blair and when Chuck found out, he cracked. He showed up drunk with the engagement ring he got for Blair last year. Let's just say he made a scene and Blair turned down Louis' proposal."

"I read that in the Post," Lily said as she looked at her son with sympathy in her eyes. "I was quite surprised as I never saw Blair letting her prince slip away that easily."

Eric winced as he saw the pain flash across Chuck's face at his mother's words. They all thought that Queen B would end up with the dark knight she'd been playing cat and mouse with for years. And Eric still had hope that it would happen, especially now that Chuck seemed determined to turn his life around.

"Blair showed up at the Empire to tell me that she couldn't say yes and I said some awful things to her," Chuck said as Lily rested her hand on his arm as he continued. "But she stood her ground with me."

"I need her back, but I need to change before I can do that," Chuck said as he stared at his feet.

"Oh, Charles," Lily said as she got teary eyed, "I'm so proud of you. Taking responsibility and admitting you need help, that takes strength."

"When are you checking in?" Eric asked as all eyes turned to him. "I'll go with you, this isn't something to be done on your own."

"I'll go, too," Serena said. "You won't be alone for this."

"As soon as I leave here I'm going back to the Empire to pack a bag," Chuck told them. "After that I was going to have Arthur drop me off."

"My babies," Lily cried as she put her arms around Serena and Chuck and pulled them to her as she looked at Eric. "I'm so proud of you."

**May 17, 2011**

Blair's phone went off while she was walking through the vineyard with her father and Roman. She stole a glance at it and saw it was Nate calling.

"Do you mind if I take this?" she asked them.

They shook their heads as she excused herself to answer the phone, "Hi, Nate."

"Hey, B," he said slowly, "Do you have a minute?"

"Yeah, is everything okay?" she asked, worried that Chuck had done something to himself.

"Chuck checked himself into the Ostroff Center," he told her. "Serena called me this morning, she and Eric went with him yesterday."

"Good for him," Blair said as she felt her throat closing. "It's about time he got help."

"He's doing this for you," Nate said quietly. "He told Serena that he wants to be better for you."

"Oh," she said as she choked back the silent sob, "It seems he was conscious enough to hear what I said to him. Like I said, good for him. He's needed this for a long time."

"I don't want to get in the middle of you two, but," Nate started, "What do I tell him if he asks me about you?"

Blair sighed as she said, "You can tell him maybe now he'll get that wing of his own at the Ostroff Center. He'll know what I mean."

"Okay," he stated slightly confused but knowing that they had a complex history and twisted banter that they used to engage in. "And don't worry, I won't tell him where you are."

"Thank you," she said with a smile. "I hate to do this but I have to run, Daddy and Roman are waiting for me. I'll call you soon."

"Talk to you then," Nate said as she hung up, hoping that his two friends would somehow find their way back to each other in time.

**May 18, 2011**

"Where would you like to start today, Chuck?" the doctor asked in his first therapy session.

"You tell me," Chuck told him, completely resigned from everything. "There's the scotch that I started drinking at eleven and the drugs I started taking at twelve. The women, the ones I've paid for or the only good one that I let get away due to my stupidity. Or how about my father and how he made me never feel good enough? Then there's my uncle who may be more twisted than me who persuaded me to trade my girlfriend in order to keep my hotel. Which issue would you like to start with, doc?"

"Why don't we start with this? Tell me what made you check in with us and finally seek help," the doctor said.

"Blair," Chuck stated. She was his reason for everything – breathing, getting out of bed each morning, wanting to be a better human being.

"And she is?" the doctor asked.

"The love of my life, the only woman I've allowed myself to feel for," he told him.

"What makes her your reason for seeking treatment?" the doctor implored as he made some notes.

"She deserves better than I've been able to give her lately," Chuck said. "But even with that she still loves me. I need to become someone she can depend on."

"As noble as that reason sounds," the doctor told him, "Treatment needs to be for you. It will only work if it's something you want."

"It is something I want," Chuck said. "Only when I get my act together will I be in any place to show Blair how much I need her in my life. Only then will I be able to fight for her like I always should have."

"Okay," the doctor said as he jotted down some notes, "I think I now have a plan for what we need to talk about in the coming weeks. Also, part of our program is group therapy and family therapy. Would Blair be willing to join us at some point?"

"No," he said, "She's gone for the summer."

"Alright, maybe in the fall," the doctor said, not dismissing the idea of having Blair join them at some point. "Is there anyone you'd like to join us, friends or family?"

"Yes, Serena and Eric," Chuck told him, "And Nate."

"Why are they important to you?" he asked.

"Serena and Eric are family and Nate's been my best friend for years," Chuck said. "They've always been there for me. If it wasn't for Nate I'd probably be lying in a hospital bed or the morgue somewhere."

"That's laying quite a claim to Nate," the doctor noted. "What makes you say that?"

"He got rid of all the alcohol and drugs in our apartment," Chuck stated. "If he didn't do that, I probably would have taken it all."

"How did his actions make you feel?" the doctor implored. "Both then and now."

"At the time I was pissed, but I was too far gone to stop him. Now, I know if he didn't do that I would have consumed all of it without a second thought," Chuck revealed, surprising himself with how open he was now that his drug and alcohol induced trance was lifted. "And I'll never be able to thank him enough for that."

"I think we've made so real progress today, Chuck," the doctor said. "There's still a lot to work through but with determination, you can get through this."

Chuck nodded as he shook the doctor's hand before leaving to go back to his room.

'This is harder than I realized,' he thought as he walked back to his room. 'You're doing this for Blair, this is all for Blair.'

**May 19, 2011**

Blair felt her heart stop as she read the blast from Gossip Girl. She knew that he had checked into the Ostroff Center from Nate but reading it in black and white made it seem even more real. Blair knew what a big deal it was for him to do that. He hated feeling weak and asking for help from anyone, even her. Maybe he really was trying to turn over a new leaf. And as much as her heart was crying out for him, she refused to listen to it.

'Chuck is getting the help he needs,' she told herself. 'He has the van der Woodsens and Nate there for him. You can talk to him when you get back to the city. This summer is about finding yourself without Chuck Bass to complicate it.'

Even as she thought it she knew it was a fallacy. Just as he had told her that he wasn't Chuck Bass without her, she knew she couldn't be Blair Waldorf without him. But she was going to be damned if she didn't try.

_Attention Upper East Siders, it looks like our favorite bad boy just checked himself into rehab. Chuck Bass was spotted entering the Ostroff Center with Serena and Eric van der Woodsen at his side. We all know how out of control he's gotten, but rehab? Maybe with his Queen B fleeing the country for the summer, this Bass was finally pushed over the edge. You know I'll keep you updated, XOXO, Gossip Girl. _

_**Please review if you'd like me to continue. **_

_**This story is going to be quite angsty as I want to explore each scenario where Chuck and Blair went wrong with each other in order for the healing process to begin. It won't be easy but they have their friends and family with them.**_

_**Any ideas for future chapters? I'm always open to feedback and what you'd like to read about. **_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Author's Note: Thank you so much for your continued comments, story alerts, and favorites. Sorry for the long delay, I've been a little distracted and wanted to make this chapter as realistic as I could after what went down on that finale.

Speaking of the finale, I think I like my stories better. I can appreciate that Chuck wants the best for Blair but she was practically begging him not to leave. Then again, she let him and walked off to be with Louis. And that pregnancy test, it has to be Blair's as Serena hasn't been getting any in a while. It could be Eleanor's or Dorota's but that would be weird and why would they have used that bathroom? And, when Chuck spins the globe it looks like he's pointing to Monaco, or the vicinity of it. I can only hope that season five will deliver the Chair happiness we all need and want, and maybe a Chair baby.

I'm so sad with the way they ended this season, it really felt like a punch to the gut after that scene where Blair dragged Chuck into that empty room after the bar mitzvah. But, this is only a television show and I know that. It doesn't make it any less sad though =(

So, on that note, I'll retreat back to my Chair bubble where they can be happy. It seems only my fanfiction can deliver that for me these days.

I really like this idea of Chuck checking himself into rehab to find himself and become a better man for Blair so much more than him just giving up. He appeared to show some growth in the finale and I hope he stays there. And by that I mean not running off with the first pretty face he sees and then being horrible to Blair because she's engaged to Louis, which he gave his blessing on. Anyway, enough of my rant and onto the chapter.

"In the face of true love, you don't give up. Even when the object of your affection is begging you to." Onto rehab and the south of France.

QueenBee10 – Thank you!

Pty – Thanks so much! Loved the Signature Scarf posting, btw. Can't wait to read your thoughts on this chapter.

Watermelon2014 – Thanks! Chuck definitely gets some reflection time in this chapter and I love Chuck and Eric bonding moments so you'll see those as well. As for Blair, she's reflecting in her own way. Looking forward to your comments on this chapter.

Syatapandlisten – Thank you! Let me know your thoughts on this chapter.

GGfan73104 – Thanks so much! Glad you agree, Chuck Bass and rehab definitely belong together, and he deserves to be redeemed ;) Can't wait to read what you think of his stint in rehab.

TriGemini – Thank you so much! I totally agree, Blair and Chuck definitely need to be apart and reflect on who they are and what they want in the future in order for them to reconnect once they see each other again. For now, Chuck will have therapy sessions with his friends and family and he and Nate do have a lot to discuss, their shared taste in women especially. As always, looking forward to your next review.

JadeWilliams – Thank you! Can't wait to read your thoughts on Chuck in rehab.

Tiff xoxo – Thanks!

Lisottina81 – Thanks so much! Looking forward to what you think of this chapter.

Ellibells – Thank you so much! I did my best to deliver on the angsty tears, let me know if I succeeded.

_Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl, or Ed Westwick – sigh. _

**May 25, 2011**

"How have you been?" Serena asked as she and Nate sat on the couch in Chuck's room. He had been at the Ostroff Center for a week now and was finally allowed to have visitors.

"As good as could be expected," Chuck told her. "I'm in rehab, remember?"

"Don't get snippy with me," Serena pouted. "I meant what have you been doing? What progress have you made? If any."

"They tried to put me on anti-depressants but I refused," he said. "And I've been going to group therapy, let's just say it's an interesting group."

"Do you feel like you're getting the help you need?" Nate asked.

"I guess," Chuck said. "I have a lot of time for reflection. There's actually something I need your help on. Rather, I need the Captain's help."

"With what?" Nate asked as he leaned forward.

"Selling the Empire, that place is evil and I want it out of my life when I get out of here," Chuck said.

"That's a smart move, buddy. I'll have him call you," Nate told him. "Getting rid of that place is probably for the best, especially what happened with Jack and Blair."

"Please don't remind me of that," Chuck said. "It's bad enough when I remember it on my own."

Nate just shrugged as Serena shot him a glare.

"Have either of you heard from Blair?" Chuck asked.

"I haven't," Serena said sadly. "She won't answer any of my calls or texts and Dorota won't speak to me."

"Yeah, I have," Nate told them. "She actually wanted me to tell you something."

"And that would be?" Chuck asked when his friend paused and he waited with bated breath for what Blair wanted to say to him.

"That you might be able to get your own wing here now," Nate said with the same confused look he had on his face when Blair told him. "She said you'd understand what she meant."

"I do," Chuck said with a half smirk, half smile on his face as he remembered their scheming days back in high school. "She's not done with me."

"Of course she's not done with you," Serena said as she smiled and touched his arm. "What else did she say, Nate?"

"That's it," he told them as they stared at him. "She asked me not to say anything else. I won't betray her confidence."

The stepsiblings just stared at Nate as he continued, "We've all hurt Blair, some of us more than others. After all that's happened I'm not losing her as my friend. So drop this or I'm leaving."

"Did you tell her about me?" Chuck asked.

"Just say the word and your name will never come up again when we talk," Nate fired back, suddenly feeling very defensive when it came to Blair.

Chuck tried to act mad but he couldn't, "No, don't do that. I guess if she wants to know about me at all that's good."

"Listen," Nate said as his tone softened, "We all know you love her. And she loves you, but she needs to be on her own for now. She deserves to be her own person. You owe her that."

"Nate," Serena said in a scolding tone.

"Don't," he said to her, "You've chosen your side. I'm here for Chuck but I'm also there for Blair, I won't choose."

"You don't have to," Serena said. "I just think you're being a little harsh."

"He was harsh the night of the prince's party, this is warm and fluffy compared to that," Chuck said.

"How is Lily faring on house arrest?" he asked not wanting to dwell on Nate. "Has she driven you all mad yet?"

"Rufus is an absolute saint," she said, "He's been with mom most of the time. She's also taken to eBay and it's getting a little crazy. I'm thinking of moving back in because it's weird with Dorota just glowering at me and muttering in Polish."

"Your mom would love it if you moved back home," Nate said with a grin. "It would also give Rufus a chance to escape now and then."

"I know," Serena laughed, "And I think I might."

Chuck just sat there as his friends talked back and forth before Serena asked him, "What do you think I should do?"

**May 31, 2011**

"So you both dated Blair?" the therapist asked.

"I dated her first but it was nothing like what they had," Nate told him. "That and he was her first."

Chuck scoffed at that and the therapist asked, "Expand on that, Chuck."

"I may have been her first but she left me for you not once but twice," Chuck said.

"Do you remember why we got together the second time?" Nate asked Chuck. "Because you couldn't find your balls and admit to her that you loved her. You told me, you told Serena, but you couldn't tell her. Can you really blame Blair for going back to me?"

"What are you getting at, Nathaniel?" Chuck snapped.

"I'm saying what we had was easy, but our hearts weren't in it," Nate told him. "She loved you, she still does. You're the one who's doubted it, she never has."

The therapist took over and guided their conversation further, delving into the fact that the two young men in front of him had not one romantic interest in common, but two.

"He wanted me to distract Raina for him," Nate said. "I can't help it if we fell for each other. But when she asked me to choose between her and Chuck, there was no question. I saw the state he was in, I couldn't leave him like that."

"What possessed you to help Chuck?" the doctor asked.

"No one else was there," Nate said. "I know how he gets and I didn't want to see it again. So, I cleaned house. I got rid of the booze and the coke and made sure that room service was sent up so he didn't starve."

"We'll get back to that later," the doctor began. "But first, Chuck, how did you feel about Raina when she chose Nate?"

"I really don't care about Raina, I thought I did but it never compared to what I felt for Blair, what I still feel," Chuck told them. "That probably makes me seem even more heartless but she meant nothing to me."

"Are you kidding me?" Nate asked with disbelief, wanting to throttle his friend for remaining so oblivious. "Have you completely forgotten that whole thing with Epperly? You all but told Blair she wasn't worth your time because you had to court Thorpe's daughter."

Nate didn't know where all of this was coming from but the more he talked with Blair and the more distant she sounded made him even more protective of her. She was confiding in him and the pain he knew she was in made him wish Chuck wasn't so emotionally damaged. He knew that she loved Chuck but he also knew that his best friend was unpredictable.

"I was focusing on getting my father's company back," Chuck fired back. "Raina was a means to do that. Besides, Blair even helped me with Raina."

"Because she thought it was just sex," Nate yelled. "She could rationalize it if that's all it was and chalk it up to you being you. If she had any idea you had any romantic inkling for Raina, we both know she would not have helped you."

"Did you forget the last time you put work first?" Nate continued heatedly. "You traded Blair to your sleazy uncle in exchange for the Empire and you lost her in the process. She was devastated from that, completely gutted, yet she found a way to forgive you. But what did you do? You slept with Jenny because you couldn't wait for her."

"Don't go there," Chuck yelled. "You know nothing about that."

"I will go there," Nate yelled back. "You're self-destructive and you always have been. Things are going well for you and then you panic and fuck it all up. It's what you do."

"Gentlemen," the doctor said calmly as the two young men looked at him, "Don't raise your voices. But I would like you to elaborate on what you meant by your last comment, Nate."

"What did I mean? I want him to not mess with Blair anymore," he said. "I don't have any romantic feelings for her now but I love her like family. And I know that it will break her heart if she opens herself up to Chuck only for him to do something stupid and destroy them again."

"I won't do that again," Chuck said earnestly.

"And I'm sure you mean that," Nate told him. "But I'm also sure you meant it all those times in the past when you did end up hurting her."

"Nate," the doctor asked, "Why are you so protective of Blair?"

"Because, she's one of my best friends," Nate said. "And I know that if she were her and not off recovering from this year's events, she would be here saying the same things to him."

"You know it's true," he added as he shot Chuck a look.

"What do I say to that?" Chuck questioned as he looked at the doctor, resigned. "It's true."

"Something being true doesn't mean you can't change it in the future," the doctor stated. "You have the power to be whoever you want from here on out. If you want to change, you will."

"You're my best friend," Nate said with a sigh. "But you need to make a change. Don't do it for me, don't do it for Blair, do it for you. Prove to yourself that you can do this."

"This is a good start," the doctor said when Chuck remained silent and distant. "Can you join us again next week, Nate?"

"I would but I won't be in the city for the next two weeks," Nate said.

"You're seeing Blair, aren't you?" Chuck asked, finally looking at him.

"I am," Nate told him.

"Where are you going?" Chuck implored.

"I'm not telling you," Nate said, "I already asked you not to put me in the middle, don't do this again."

Chuck looked torn when the doctor spoke, "Perhaps you can write her a letter."

When both young men just stared at him, he continued, "That way, Chuck, you can tell Blair what you need to and she won't feel pressured to respond in any particular way."

"I'll give her a letter if want," Nate said. "I won't promise a response but I'll pass it along."

"Yes," the therapist stated, "That's what you're to do, Chuck. Letter writing is a process that we sometimes have our patients engage in. Based on what I've heard from you both today, this is exactly what is needed."

**June 2, 2011**

"So," Eric said as he sat across from Chuck, "Not only is mom driving me crazy, Serena's moved back in and the two of them are driving me crazy."

He was smiling when he realized that Chuck wasn't paying attention and still scribbling away.

"Letter writing," Eric asked knowingly. "I remember that phase."

"Nate is visiting Blair in two days and the doctor suggested that I give him a letter for her," Chuck told him as he crumpled the piece of paper and looked up. "I've already rewritten it six times and I have no idea what to say to her, how to explain why I did what I did. There's no excuse or even a reason for it, just me being a self-centered bastard."

"Tell her that," Eric suggested as Chuck stared at him with raised eyebrows. "What you did can't be excused and you need to let her know you see that. The most important thing for Blair to know is that you're sorry and want to do better by her in the future. All I can tell you is be honest with her, she deserves that."

"But the truth is that I was a callous prick, I don't need to reinforce that point with her," Chuck said.

"And trust me, you don't," Eric said. "Believe me, she knows. But she also knows how good you can be and that's the real reason she isn't engaged to a prince right now. Blair wants the you she fell in love with. Show her you're trying to get back to that person."

"I think you should write this letter," Chuck suggested.

"No, that's not how this works," Eric told him with a laugh. "I'll help you gather your thoughts but you have to do this on your own. What else do you have?"

"I don't even know if she'll read it," Chuck said.

Eric just looked at him and said, "So, you're writing this to show her you still care. Don't do this if you have any certain expectations of her. Write this to get out what you're feeling, that's why you're doing it, for you. Having her read it is just a bonus."

"Chuck," he continued, "This isn't supposed to be easy, it's rehab. I'm really proud of you for checking in here on your own, you're going to see that this was good for you. The first few weeks are the hardest."

"You're saying rehab gets easier?" Chuck asked with skepticism.

"I'm saying you'll start to see why you're here and be grateful for it. I'll see you tomorrow," Eric said as he stood up and gave Chuck a hug. "Good luck with the letter, you know what needs to be said."

**June 10, 2011**

Nate had been at the villa for a week and he and Blair were having a great time. They would walk into town each morning for breakfast but they mostly stayed close to home and talked. Like Chuck, Blair found it difficult to talk about her true emotions but there was something about Nate that made her open up.

He knew both sides of what happened and genuinely wanted to help her. They both knew that she would ultimately have to do this on her own but talking through what she felt with Nate helped.

"Everything okay, B?" Nate asked as they started to walk around the vineyard. They were just walking out the back door when the phone rang.

"Good," she said as she looped her arm though his, "I got the internship I wanted for the fall."

"That's great," he exclaimed. "Who's it with?"

"Hunter and Gideon, they're the best corporate law firm in the city," she told him. "I start the second week in September."

"I'm so happy for you," he smiled as he kissed the side of her head. "This is what you want, right?"

"It is," she said, "Working for them will give me the experience I need. Not to mention if they like me and keep me on I'll have my foot in the door there when I do go to law school."

"So you'll stay in the city?" Nate asked.

"Absolutely," Blair said, "New York is home. Besides, that's where all the good firms are and I want to continue on at Columbia."

"That's good," Nate smiled, "I miss having you a few blocks away."

She laughed as they took their time wandering around on her father's property. The sun was shining and a cool breeze allowed them to stay out longer than they normally would have. It was about an hour later that they finally made their way back to the villa and sat outside on the terrace.

"Did you read his letter yet?" Nate asked when they got back to the villa.

"I'm not ready," she told him as she poured them each a glass of lemonade. "But I'll get to it before you leave next week. I wouldn't send you back without some sort of message. Would you believe not a day goes by that I don't think about him?"

"Yes, and it's the same for him," he said. "I actually got into a screaming match with Chuck before I left," Nate told her as he took a sip of his drink.

Blair froze with the glass to her lips before she said, "Oh." It was all she could get out but Nate knew she would want to know why, so he continued.

"We were in a therapy session and I don't know what came over me," he said as he told her the abridged version of what happened. "I defended your honor."

"Thank you," she said hesitantly as she looked at him.

"He needed a swift kick in the ass," he told her. "Besides, I didn't say anything he didn't already know. That and I wouldn't tell him where I was going."

"I appreciate that, you not telling him where I am," she clarified.

"Am I crazy for still wanting to be with him after all that's happened?" Blair asked as Nate took a bite of macaroon.

"Do you still love him?" he asked as he looked at her.

"It can't be that simple," she told him. "Love isn't enough."

"Just hear me out with this," Nate started, "If love isn't enough, then why aren't you in Monaco engaged to Louis?"

"I did love Louis," she said, "But not how enough to marry him. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life wondering if I missed out."

"There's your answer, B," he told her. "You and Chuck will always come with baggage, but that's what makes you two fit."

"And remember," he said as he took her hand in his, "Wanting him back and forgiving him don't have to go hand in hand. Forgiveness takes a long time to earn back, we all know that. Don't be so hard on yourself."

"When did you get to be so smart?" she asked.

"I'm not just a pretty face," he told her with a grin, "I've been trying to tell you that for years."

She rolled her eyes but she couldn't help but smile as she shook her head.

_**Please review if you'd like me to continue. And if I haven't heard from you yet, leave a review. Lots of you have favorited or alerted this story but have yet to leave a comment. I'd love to hear your thoughts and it's very easy to do, not to mention it would really make me smile =D**_

_**This chapter was rough to write and took me a long time because I struggled with Chuck's therapy sessions. **_

_**What did you think of Nate? I've always loved man-bangs and secretly wish that there were a functional brain behind that pretty face so I wanted to show his perceptiveness in this story. I like to think that while he thinks of Chuck as a brother, he will always defend Blair while getting Chuck to man up. **_

_**The next chapter will be more centered on Blair and show her summer reflection in France. We'll see another therapy session between Nate and Chuck as well as one with Serena and Eric. And we'll also see Serena trying to reach out to Blair and how she reacts to her. **_

_**Do you want to read what Chuck wrote or just get the gist of it when they talk? I already know what I'm going to do but your feedback always inspires me and sometimes takes my story in a direction I didn't see before you brought it to my attention. **_

_**Remember, more reviews = more love = faster update =) And I love detailed reviews, the longer the better. **_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Author's Note: Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews! I love hearing your thoughts on what I wrote as it provides me with great inspiration for future chapters.

I really struggled with this chapter so it took a lot longer for me to post it. My apologies but I want you all to know that I have this story is all sketched out and will be posting as often as I can =) I also want you to know that I handwrote most of this chapter at work because it would have looked too sketch if I pulled out my laptop ;) Just thought I'd share that with you.

Blair and Chuck may seem a bit OOC in this story and that is because I'm trying to move them away from the schemes. They have to grow up and part of doing that is realizing that nothing good can come from the games they used to play.

By the way, I've updated _The Way We Were_ and _Of Course_.

88Mary88 – Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked where I took Nate's character. I think he's capable of it but the writers of the show like leaving them all in stunted adolescence. I could rant further but I'll spare you ;) As for the blonde, she thought she was doing the right thing. We see more of her motivations for siding with Chuck in this chapter. And it will be quite some time before Blair fully opens up to Chuck again. She desperately wants to but will refuse until she feels they are at the place they need to be, which is quite a bit into the future. I can't wait to read what you think of this chapter.

Tiff xoxo – Thanks!

Comet Tail – Thank you! So happy you like the pace and tone of this story. Looking forward to your thoughts on this chapter.

LiesLoveAndLullabies – Thanks so much! I'm so glad you like where I've taken the characters in this story. I plan on having the characters mature more than we've seen on the show because I feel it's about time they did. I can't wait to read your thoughts on Chuck's therapy sessions as well as what he wrote in his letter.

Lexi1x07 – Thanks! Looking forward to what you think of Chuck's letter.

TriGemini – Thank you so much! Happy to hear I'm so happy that you like where I've taken Nate's character, I've always liked him and think he's far too often underestimated. We see more of Chuck and Blair realizing what they need to do before they can even attempt to be together again. As always, looking forward to your next review.

Ellibells – Thanks! Can't wait to read your reaction to Chuck's letter, you'll have to let me know if it brought tears.

Jwoo2525 – Thank you! So happy to hear you like where this story has gone. I agree with hating how on the show Chuck professes his love to Blair and then runs off with the first pretty face in a skirt, it's pretty disgusting. I needed to see him in rehab getting the help he needs because after all that's happened, Chuck has to get work through his issues before Blair can trust him again. So looking forward to what you think of this chapter as the story moves forward.

Pty – Thank you so much! Happy to hear you liked Nate taking a stand. Glad you liked Eric and Serena's behavior. And I saw footage of Ed Westwick in Manila, OMG he is so sexy with his accent and when he's clean-shaven, so sexy =*) Looking forward to your thoughts on this chapter.

Chairfanforever – Thanks! I can't wait to read what you think of how I'm moving the story forward in this chapter.

Trosev – Thank you! Please let me know your thoughts on the development in this chapter.

GGfan73104 – Thanks so much! I'm so happy you liked the therapy sessions, there are a lot more in this chapter so I look forward to reading what you think in your next review ;)

Akasha-is-cool – Thank you! Chuck has to be my favorite, as I'm sure you've figured out as I write from his point of view the most. Can't wait to read your thoughts on this chapter.

QueenBee10 – Thanks!

Annablake – Thank you so much for the feedback! I have to say, you are the first person to defend the writers and have me see where you're coming from. Not everything is Chuck's fault and we see how Blair responds to Chuck in this chapter so I look forward to reading what you think of it.

Lisottina81 – Thank you!

Cms37 – Thanks so much! So happy you like the Blair and Nate relationship. I can't wait to read what you think of them in this chapter.

_Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl, or Ed Westwick – sigh. _

**June 17, 2011  
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_Blair, _

_I've rewritten this letter twelve times and am hoping thirteen will be the lucky number. _

_My actions of that awful night, and most of this past year, have been indefensible. The only thing I can say is that I'm sorry. Even as I write those words, they seem hollow but know that I mean them with all my heart. _

_You didn't have to come to me that night, but I'm grateful you did. Once again, you were there for me when I didn't deserve you. I'm beginning to realize we can never go back to what we had, too much has happened for us to do that. That being said, I can't believe I ever allowed myself to lose sight of how important you are to me. _

_The love I have for you is only thing that's ever been real and true in my life. Reflecting back on our time together, I realize that I took your love for granted and I will forever regret it. _

_You deserve only happiness and I won't stand in your way anymore. Another realization I've come to is how you are the only one I want to be with, the only woman I ever opened up to and loved with all my heart. _

_Waiting has never been one of my strong points, but if there were ever a reason to wait, it would be for you. I know that I have a long way to go before I'm capable of having a real and honest relationship with you but know that I'm working on becoming a man worthy of your love once again. _

_I understand if you want nothing to do with me, I do. The last thing I want is cause you more pain. If there was one thing I learned from my time here so far, it is that nothing means anything if I don't have you to share it with. _

_This time I plan on waiting for you as long as it takes. If you choose to move on, know that I intend to be alone unless I can be with you. I should have realized this in high school but I was a foolish teenager. You are the only good thing in my life and I won't jeopardize that anymore. _

_If you're still reading this, thank you for not completely giving up on me. I love you and will wait the rest of my life for you. _

_Always yours, _

_C_

Blair stifled back a sob when she finished reading his letter, a few tears escaping as she closed her eyes. He said everything she wanted to hear and every fiber of her being wanted to take him back immediately but she had keep to reminding herself that she couldn't do that this time. She needed to know that Chuck would actually wait for her. If he proved that he would, then in time she would slowly allow him back into her life.

As a million and one thoughts ran through her head, she grabbed a piece of her stationary and began to write back to him. Her letter had only one draft as she had been going over and over what she wanted to say to him for weeks now. The words flowed freely as she told him what she needed to.

It was well after midnight and Nate's flight would be leaving the following night. She would give him the letter in the morning.

Blair tossed and turned before finally falling into a restless sleep, unable to close her eyes without seeing her and Chuck when they were at their best, when they were happy.

After eating breakfast with Harold and Roman the next morning, Blair went upstairs with Nate to help him pack.

"I'm going to miss you, Archibald," she said as she sat on the edge of the bed while he zipped up his suitcase.

"I'm only a phone call away," he told her with a smile. "Besides, you'll be back in the city soon."

"Three weeks," she said. "I want to give myself a week before classes start to read my textbooks and take notes."

"Always the good student," Nate grinned. "Even during the summer you're still thinking about school."

"I have to," she told him. "Between my job at _W_ last semester and then spending all my free time with Louis my grades slipped. I failed a test, my first failed test. I need to get back my 4.0 these next two years. School and my internship must be my priority. My future law career depends on it."

"And before you ask, this is how Chuck fits in," Blair said as she handed her friend the letter.

"You wrote back?" he asked with surprise. He expected she might have a message for him to relay back to Chuck but it never crossed his mind that she would write him a letter as well.

"What did you think I would do?" she asked. "Burn it?"

"I don't know," he said honestly, "But not this."

"Well, I did," she told him as he stared at the envelope in his hands. "There were things that needed to be said that couldn't wait."

"Wait for what?" Nate questioned.

"For our therapy sessions," she said, once again surprising him. "You mentioned me having sessions with him and I think it's a good idea. We can hash everything out, just the two of us. It's the only way I can think of that will give us any chance of moving forward."

"I do want to thank you for sticking up for me but I need to fight my own battles with him," she told him. "And keep it between us that I'll go to therapy with him. I need to be the one to tell him."

Nate tilted his head as he looked her and she continued, "It's all in the letter. I will get in touch with him, once I get settled into my new routine. Putting you in the middle isn't what I want but if can you just hand him the letter and let him know he'll hear from me, please?"

"Sure," he told her, "That should get him off my back for a while."

"Now that that's taken care of," she smirked as she pulled him up, "I want to go for one last walk with you before you leave. Let's go."

Nate smiled as Blair took his hand and they made their way outside for one last walk around the vineyard.

**June 20, 2011  
><strong>

"How have you been?" Eric asked Chuck as they sat in his room.

"Fine," Chuck said as he remembered his last session where he talked about Bart.

"The same," Eric told him, "Mom's driving us all crazy, at least Serena's back home and I can escape with Rufus and Dan every now and then."

"That's nice," Chuck said as he looked at the envelope on the desk.

"Look at me," Eric said as he waited for Chuck to make eye contact with him before continuing. "I just mentioned Dan and you didn't make a snide comment. What gives?"

"My P.I. stopped by to give me what he found out about that fire in one of Bart's old buildings," Chuck told him. "He didn't kill Avery Thorpe, Russell did."

Eric's eyes widened as Chuck continued, "Turns out Avery was going to leave Russell for Bart. Jealousy took over and Russell tricked Avery into the building before locking it and setting it aflame with her inside."

"You're not Bart," Eric told him. "You never were and you never will be."

"How can you say that?" Chuck asked. "I can't seem to get his voice out of my head and yet again I've failed, just like he always knew I would."

"You asked for help, he never would," Eric said.

"What does that change?" Chuck asked. "So, I asked for help. Does that mean I'm capable of changing my behavior in the future or will I always fall back into my old patterns?"

"If you want to change, you will," Eric stated knowingly. "Seeing as I was in your shoes a few years ago, I can tell you that it's a struggle everyday but you get through it if you want it bad enough."

"Before you answer me, I know you're doing this so you can repair your relationship with Blair. But are you doing this for you as well?" Eric wanted to know.

"Yes, I'm doing this for me," Chuck said with an exasperated sigh. "When I get out of here I want to go back to Bass Industries and they won't let me if they think I'm a liability. As it is I have a lot to prove before I can go back to the work I want to do."

"Mom could help you with that," Eric told him, "If you want that."

"I think I might," Chuck said with a slight smirk, "And we both know Lily could use a project to keep her busy while on house arrest."

"You said it," Eric chuckled.

**June 22, 2011  
><strong>

"What do you want, Serena?" Blair asked when she finally decided to pick up the blonde's call.

"B," she exclaimed, happy that her friend finally answered her calls.

"You need to leave Dorota alone," Blair told her. "She's more dangerous than she looks and is really pissed off with you."

"I'm sorry," Serena said, "It's just that I haven't heard from you and I'm worried."

"Now you decide to be worried, after my life went up in flames, again," she exclaimed bitterly.

"I'm sorry," the blonde repeated. "I never wanted to choose."

"But you did," Blair said, "And you chose him over me."

"He had no one," Serena stated.

"And who's fault was that?" Blair asked.

"His," Serena said softly, "But he's trying now, that must mean something."

"It means that for the time being he's had enough," Blair said.

"It's for good this time," Serena told her. "You didn't see him, you didn't see how broken he was when he checked into the Ostroff Center."

"I did see him, S," Blair said. "I saw him drunk out of his mind and stoned when he crashed Sophie's party and humiliated me. I saw him when I went to make sure he was still alive that night. I saw him when I told him my engagement didn't happen because he wasn't the one proposing."

"He didn't tell me that," Serena said with surprise.

"That's probably because he can't remember it," Blair told her. "Serena, you're my best friend and I love you, but I also love Chuck. That doesn't mean I'm going to take you both back with open arms."

"Are you saying that you're done with us?" Serena asked as she felt herself tearing up.

"No, I'm saying I don't have time to deal with either of you for the time being," Blair said. "If you ever want our friendship to recover, you'll stop trying to contact me. When I'm ready, you'll know. And leave Dorota alone."

Blair hung up and Serena was left on the brink of tears. The blonde didn't realize how much damage was done to her relationship with Blair; she and Chuck had a lot to make up for if they wanted what they once had.

**June 23, 2011  
><strong>

"Any word from her?" Chuck asked as he and his stepsister talked.

Serena nodded and told him, "I don't know who she's more angry with, you or me."

"I'm going to guess, me," he said with a wry smile. "Out of the two of us, I'd say you have a better chance of repairing your relationship with Blair than I do."

"I don't know. She lumped us both together and told me that while she loves us she can't deal with us for the time being," Serena said as his eyes widened slightly.

"Blair said she loves me?" Chuck asked with disbelief. "She actually used those words?"

"She did," Serena said, "And they were followed by how that fact doesn't change how she feels about us at the moment."

"What exactly did you do to her?" he inquired.

"I sent Sophie her Gossip Girl file," she told him while cringing. "That and I sided with you after the party. I said I thought you two were always meant to be and that wasn't what she wanted to hear."

"This is bad, Chuck," she continued as he just stared at her. "I've never seen Blair like this before, she's resigned from the fight.

"I know her, and this is her way of changing," he said. "What she's done in the past hasn't worked so she's trying something new. I really hope she gets what she wants. Only then can we be happy."

Serena tilted her head in question as he elaborated, "If Blair's not happy, no one's happy. But if she is happy, everyone around her is as well."

She nodded as she knew it was true when she stood up and opened her arms, "Can I get a hug? I really need one."

"No, don't touch me," he told her. "I opened up with feelings to you, that's as far as I'm going today."

"Fine," she pouted as she sat back down, "But I want a hug at some point."

**XOXO**

"Roman," Blair said when she got back to the villa and saw her stepfather in the kitchen, "Where's daddy?"

"He stepped out for a bit," Roman told her, "Something about going to the market. How was your walk?"

"Fine," she said with a clip to her tone as she poured herself a glass of lemonade.

"Blair," he called when she went to leave, "Do you have a few moments to talk?"

"Sure," she told him as she sat across from him and took a sip of her drink, uncomfortable because she knew what he wanted to discuss.

"How are you, really?" Roman asked.

"Fine," she repeated as she took another sip of her lemonade, all the while avoiding Roman's eyes.

"I understand if you don't want to discuss Charles with your father, but you can tell me anything," he said gently as he took her hands in his. "Whatever you say to me will remain between us."

"You know everything that's happened with Chuck and I," she said as he squeezed her hand in encouragement. "And despite all that, I can't bring myself to hate him, I never could."

"Love isn't easy, trust me," he said with a knowing look in her eyes. "But you know when you meet that one person who makes all the pain worth it for the joy they can bring you. The hard part is getting through the pain."

"But love shouldn't be painful," she said sadly. "Louis never brought me any pain."

"Did he bring you happiness?" Roman asked. "Did he make you feel alive?"

"He made me feel special, and loved," she told him, "But I didn't love him the way I should have, and we both knew it."

"And how does Charles make you feel?" he inquired as he noted how sad Blair looked.

"Crazy," she said with a laugh. "Chuck drives me absolutely crazy, he makes me sad, and he has the ability to make me hurt worse than anybody else. But I still love him and I know he's the only one for me."

"For what it's worth, I think you are playing it smart, as they say," he told her. "You love Charles but you're not going right back to him. Have him prove he's worth you, you deserve that."

Blair remained quiet as she mulled over his words. Sensing her hesitation, Roman sat next to her and enveloped her in his arms, "Everything will work out, ma cherie. I promise."

**June 25, 2011  
><strong>

Chuck was back in his room and staring at the envelope Nate gave him from Blair. He could still smell her perfume on it, something she used to do and continued to do. The session with Nate went better than it did last time. Nate was less aggressive and they mostly discussed how he was there during Chuck's detox period after the prince's party and the last time he saw Blair.

He was itching to read Blair's words so he carefully opened the letter, feeling his chest get tight at the sight of her distinctive penmanship.

_Chuck, _

_I was glad to hear you're getting the help you need, and to know you checked in voluntarily was even better. _

_You aren't the only one who's made mistakes in our relationship. I could have taken you back at different points but our timing has always been wrong. It still isn't the right time for us. _

_Loving each other was never our problem, it was fully trusting the other. I do love you but I need time to learn to trust you again. _

_When I get back to the city, I'll contact you when I'm ready to talk. You told me you'd wait for me, so wait. I need to know you will if we're ever to work towards rebuilding us. Give me time, I need more. _

_B_

'She still wants me,' Chuck thought to himself as he lay in bed with his eyes closed. 'Even after all that's happened, she can still see us together.'

His mind was spinning as he reread her words again and again. He knew her well enough to know she was still holding back but he also knew that it took a lot for her to write back to him.

With everything still fresh on his mind and raw, he decided to give the journal writing exercise a chance. Writing that letter to Blair made him feel better; knowing he was able to put words to what he was feeling really helped.

'What could it hurt at this point?' Chuck thought as the words flowed out of him.

**_Please review to let me know you'd like me to continue. And if I haven't heard from you yet, leave a review. Lots of you have favorited or alerted this story but have yet to leave a comment. I'd love to hear your thoughts and it's very easy to do, not to mention it would really make me smile =D_**

_**I hope the wait for this chapter was worth it, it took a long time to write and I really look forward to what you write in your reviews. It jumps around to different characters but I wanted to include all of them and their points of view. The next chapter won't jump as much. **_

_**My goal is to have the next chapter posted by next week, it's all sketched out. I already have most of their initial therapy sessions written as it's enabled me to work out my frustrations with what happened with the Empire, Jenny, Eva, and Raina. All mistakes and all of which Chuck should have known better. I won't rant here, I'll let you all read my thoughts on this starting in chapter 7. **_

_**On that note, I have a question. How do you think I should pace this story? The next chapter will jump to the end of summer and I'm wondering how long Blair should wait until she talks with Chuck. Also, when do you think they start therapy together? I do want to include her 21**__**st**__** birthday party in a future chapter so their pace will affect the tone of that. **_

_**I really look forward to your feedback and always try to capture your suggestions and incorporate them into my stories. Thank you in advance!**_

_**Remember, more reviews = more love = faster update. And I loved detailed reviews, the longer the better =) **_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Author's Note: Thank you all so much for continuing to read and review this story! I love reading your reviews, getting your feedback, and learning what you liked as well as what you'd like to read in future chapters. I take it all into consideration as I write, so thank you =D

This story is the slowest pace I've ever written in terms of Blair and Chuck being together. Then again, where they are in their relationship in this story requires the unhurried pace. It is going to be an uphill battle before our favorite couple is back together and stronger than ever.

Trosev – Thanks! I've always had a soft spot for Roman and wished that Blair would give him a chance, so that's how I wrote it ;) Can't wait to read you reactions to this chapter as we get closer to Blair coming face to face with Chuck again.

TriGemini – Thanks so much! I'm glad you found it amusing with Serena asking for a hug, with Chuck sharing his emotions much more freely, I had to let him keep some sort of edge, LOL. And I agree, it would be weird to see. My rant on everything Chuck should have known better about, as well as Blair's regrets, will begin in the next chapter. As always, looking forward to your next review.

Blairheather – Thank you! I totally agree with Chuck's personality has been all over the page. In this story I'm having his behavior at the prince's party and Blair's reaction be the wakeup call he so desperately needed to snap out of his destructive behavior. Neither of them are saints and that will all be discussed starting with the next chapter. Looking forward to what you thought of this chapter.

AquarianAir – Thanks! Chuck and Blair have a long way to go before they can get back what they once had and the first step for them is therapy. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I can't wait to read what you think of it.

Pty – Thank you so much! It took me so long to write those letters, I wanted to get them perfect and I hope I captured the emotions of both Chuck and Blair in them. The information Chuck found out about Thorpes will probably be mentioned during their therapy sessions but other than that, I hate the Thorpes and won't mention them more than I have to. And I love Ed Westwick clean shaven, I never did like facial hair on my men =p Also thank you for keeping me posted on all the GG spoilers. I don't have the heart to read them because the show has become so unfriendly to Chair that I know I'll be watching season five while cringing. I'm looking forward to your next review and the latest GG news!

Tiff xoxo – Thank you! Can't wait to read your thoughts on this chapter.

88Mary88 – Thank you so much! I'm so glad that you found Chuck's letter amazing, it took me so long to get it perfect, in my mind at least. And while Blair is going to be willing to let Chuck and Serena back into her life, it is tentatively and she will make it very clear to them that they are prove to her they are worth her time. If they don't, she has school and a career to focus on. The road back to Chair together will take a lot of time and effort and Chuck is going to have to show her he's changed and will continue to work towards the man she fell in love with, the man she deserves, and the man he wants to be. I'm really looking forward to reading what you think of this chapter.

JadeWilliams – Thanks so much! Twice? Wow, I'm flattered =D I'm glad you picked up on the fact that Chuck did indeed seem humbled by Blair still wanting him. Both he and Blair have begun their roads to maturity and will continue separately and together. As for Blair's birthday, it won't be for a few chapters and I have a few twist planned ;) Nothing bad, just some surprises. No Chair interaction in this chapter, but the next chapter, it's on, LOL! Can't wait to read your review on this chapter and I hope I live up to your expectations of awesomeness.

Layla Waldorf-Bass – Thanks! The work for Chair continues slowly in this chapter. Can't wait to read your comments on it.

Tinamarie333 – Thank you! While I do think they are both at fault when it comes to their broken relationship, Chuck is definitely more to blame. That being said, I always saw Chuck as unintentionally sabotaging their relationship while Blair regrets not taking action when it comes to saving them. That may or may not make sense but I promise it will all make sense once they begin therapy in the next chapter. And I hate how they had Blair's character deteriorate in season four. She needs to grow up and be the powerful woman we know she can be, not the little girl who can't resist playing one more game. Looking forward to your review of this chapter and what you think of their progress.

Lexi1x07 – Thanks! Don't worry, their alone time is coming to an end. They come face to face in the next chapter. Can't wait to read your thoughts on this chapter.

Ellibells – Thank you so much! So glad I was able to pull on your heartstrings with the letters, that was my intention ;) Blair will be in therapy with Chuck and I think her reasons for why will surprise you next chapter. So happy you enjoyed and can't wait to read what you think of this chapter.

GGfan73104 – Thanks so much! Blair does love Chuck but she needs time to grow and understand why she's acted the way she has, and why Chuck has acted the way he has. As for the journal, it will make a very surprising reappearance in later chapters. Care to venture a guess? So looking forward to reading your review of this chapter.

Shop247 – Thank you so much! I'm glad to know you like the different viewpoints, I was afraid it was too choppy but I wanted to include everyone and attack this story from every angle. And don't worry, I can't stand it when writers () make Chair too angsty/mad or have them back together only to destroy them once more. My story will show them working on getting back what they once had. It will be bumpy and there will definitely be screaming and tears before it's all worked out, but I assure you I do not write tragedy, or cheating. I'm totally with you on that finale, my heart was not ready for what happened. I can't wait to read your next review and look forward to your comments.

Chantelle – Thank you so much! I'm so happy you find this story realistic. I always make a concerted effort to keep them as in character as possible while maturing them because I hate stories that are very OOC. Looking forward to your thoughts on this chapter.

_Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl, or Ed Westwick – sigh. _

**August 20, 2011  
><strong>

"Lily got me an internship with the magazine for the _New York Times_," Dan told her. "I start the week before I go back to NYU. You have an extra week before you get back to the grind, lucky."

"I'd rather start as soon as I get back," Blair said. "Anything to keep my mind busy."

"You should call Eric," he said, seeing his in to talk to her about Chuck. "He's been visiting Chuck everyday and he'd like to hear from you."

"Why?" Blair asked as her guard went up. "So everything I say can get relayed to Chuck."

"No, so he can tell you how Chuck is," Dan said calmly. "I know you want to know."

"I liked it better when we just discussed movies and your horrible fashion sense," Blair spat, trying to sound bitter but just sounding stressed instead.

"What's going on, Blair?" he asked. "I've been picking up pieces of what's going on from everyone here, but I don't have the full story."

"You're really asking to know the story behind my twisted romance with Chuck?" she asked.

"Yes, and it's not that twisted," Dan told her. "What was it you said to me last year at Dorota's wedding? You're Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck. Didn't that mean something?"

"Damn it, Humphrey, I hate to admit when you're right," she said. "How much do you know?"

"I know that you're the reason Chuck checked himself into rehab," he started. "And I know that you let him know you still want him, in time that is."

"You pretty much have the whole story then," she told him.

"There's got to be more," he said. Dan had gotten to know Blair much better that year and was starting to see how much she and Chuck belonged together. While he couldn't fully wrap his head around it, he wanted her to be happy and wanted a bit of insight into how she was coping with everything that had happened.

"Oh, there is," she stated. "Basically, I still love him. And I know in his own way he loves me. The messy part is reconciling that fact with everything that's happened between us."

"How do you plan on going about doing that?" he inquired, genuinely curious. "Bridging that gap, I mean."

"Therapy," Blair told him, "And you are not to breathe a word of that to anyone, except Nate, because I need to be the one Chuck hears it from. Do you understand?"

"I won't say a word," Dan assured her.

"I'm inclined to believe you," she said slowly.

"Good, because it's the truth," he said. "You hate when I do this, but I have to go. I'm meeting up with my dad and when I'm late he starts talking to people and I hate when that happens. So, I'm going and you are calling Eric."

Blair was about to say something snippy when he added one more thing before hanging up, "Do it, you know you want to."

She scowled as she looked at her phone, knowing he was right and groaning angrily as she dialed Eric's number.

"B," Eric exclaimed as he answered his phone, surprised and happy to see that she was calling him, "How are you?"

"I'm better," she said. "How about you? Dan told me you've been kept busy with Lily and Serena."

"I have," he laughed. "Mom's become one of those creepy hoarders, except instead of old socks she's been scouring eBay for every Birkin bag she can get a hold of."

"She's trying to keep her mind off of the house arrest," Blair said. "That and there are worse things to be collecting than Hermes."

"How about you, B?" he asked. "What are you doing to keep your minds off things?"

"Work," she told him. "I've started to study for the LSATs and in addition to my fall classes, I'll be interning three days a week with a corporate law firm."

"Law," he said with confusion, "I thought you wanted to go into fashion."

"So did I but my time at _W_ showed me that wasn't where I wanted to end up," she said. "With law I have a lot more flexibility and can move up quickly if I work harder."

"I can see you in law," Eric told her. "And I know I wouldn't want to go up against you in court."

"That you wouldn't, Little E," she said with a smile on her face. "Wait, you leave for college soon. It seems like only yesterday you were stealing Serena's Barbies."

"I think I did do that yesterday," he said with a laugh. "And I'm looking forward to Sarah Lawrence. I'm glad Chuck gets home before I leave."

"Can I tell you something?" he asked her when she remained silent at the mention of his name.

"Sure," she told him, unsure what she was about to hear.

"Chuck won't be going back to the Empire," Eric said. "He wanted you to know he's going to be moving into an apartment at the Palace, you know, in case you want to contact him."

"Good to know," she said. "How did he know we'd be talking?"

"He didn't," he said. "But we all know and were asked to relay the message to you. Any return message?"

"No," Blair said. "I actually have to go, I leave in a few days and daddy and Roman are taking me out to dinner. Maybe I'll see you when I get back to New York."

"That would be nice," he told her. "Enjoy your night."

"You too," she said before hanging up.

'So, Chuck's not going back to the Empire,' she thought. 'That's a start, maybe he'll sell it and we'll finally be rid of that place once and for all.'

**August 23, 2011  
><strong>

Blair's summer in France was coming to an end and she was going to miss her father and stepfather tremendously. They had been such a support to her, Roman especially.

Harold and Roman accompanied Blair to the airport to see her take off because they wanted as much time with her as they could get before she left. After having her with them the entire summer, the villa was going to seem so empty without her.

"We'll be in New York for your birthday, Blair bear," Harold said as he gave her a hug. "You're mother has already started the planning for it. I still can't believe you're going to be twenty-one."

"Before you know it you will be giving her away at her wedding," Roman exclaimed as Harold and Blair felt the color draining from their faces.

"That won't be for quite some time, daddy," Blair told him. "Breathe."

Harold exhaled as the color slowly came back to his face as Blair continued, "Thank you for the summer. I'm so happy I was able to escape New York for the time being."

"You are always welcome with us," Harold told her. "We'll be with you before you know it."

"I'm looking forward to it," she said as she gave him another hug before she pulled back and Roman pulled her to him.

"If you ever need to talk," Roman said softly as he hugged her, "Don't hesitate to call me."

"I won't," she smiled at him. "And thank you for listening to me sort through all this."

"You are the daughter I always wanted," he said as his eyes filled with tears. "Je t'aime, mon cherie."

"Je t'aime," she responded as she kissed his cheek.

"I'll see you both soon," she called as she made her way up the steps of the jet.

Blair kicked off her shoes, tucking her legs under her as she made herself comfortable for the eight-hour flight home. She was looking forward to her internship and regaining her class standing, knowing she would have to devote all of her time to it.

She woke up when she felt the wheels drop and the pilot announced their descent time as she freshened up and put on her shoes. The helicopter was waiting to take her into the city when she departed. She was wide-awake from her sleep on the plane and eager to begin her reading as soon as she got home.

"Dorota," Blair said as she got into her limo from the heliport, "I'll be home shortly, have my textbooks ready for me on my desk."

"Miss Blair," Dorota said with an edge in her voice, "Miss Serena has been here all morning and won't leave."

"Get rid of her," Blair demanded. "I'm not coming home until I know she's gone."

"I try," Dorota told her, "But Miss Serena very persistent. I try everything, include threaten. Shall I call police?"

"No," Blair sighed, "Don't do that, just have my books brought down to the doorman. I'll find somewhere else to go for the afternoon."

"You sure, Miss Blair?" Dorota asked. "Because I have no problem calling police."

"I'm sure," Blair told her. "And have the doorman meet my limo, I'm not getting out."

"Yes, Miss Blair," Dorota said as she hung up and went back to where the blonde was waiting in the living room.

"Leave now," Dorota told Serena as she glared at her. "You have two minutes before police be least of your worries."

Usually Serena would brush off Dorota's threats but the way she was looking at her really freaked her out so she left without much of a fight. However, she wasn't giving up hope on her friendship with Blair.

Meanwhile, Blair had her textbooks and was en-route to the Humphrey loft, the one place she was certain would provide the peace and quiet she was craving.

"Thank you, Dan," she said as she stepped out of her limo and handed him her bag of books. "I never thought I'd be so happy to be in Brooklyn."

"Well, I'm glad we could impress you," he told her with a grin as they made their way upstairs. "I have your favorite coffee and macaroons with your name on them waiting."

She smirked as he opened the door to the loft and she stepped in front of him.

"Not to be rude or anything," Blair said as she started to spread her books out, "But I'm not in the mood to talk. I just want to read my textbooks before classes start."

"Okay," Dan said as he walked towards his room, "Make yourself at home. I'll be in my room if you need me."

Blair nodded before giving her full attention to the book in front of her, determined to make up for her carelessness last semester when it came to her grades. If she wanted to get into Columbia's law school, she needed her straight-A average back and had to ace the LSATs. Coffee and a lack of sleep were the only things she saw in her near future, but that was okay, if she focused on studying, her mind wouldn't be as tempted to think about Chuck.

**September 2, 2011  
><strong>

"Welcome home," Lily, Serena, and Eric exclaimed as Chuck walked off the elevator with Nate. Chuck just checked himself out of the Ostroff Center and was moving into his new apartment at the Palace. The van der Woodsens met him for a housewarming of sorts, not wanting him to be alone and wanting to welcome him home.

They all had smiles on their faces and Nate was grinning next to him when Chuck spoke with a slight smile on his face, "Thank you for being here."

"There is nowhere else we'd be," Lily said as she pulled him to her. "But I can officially go anywhere I want now that I'm free of that dreadful anklet."

"And she's still in the Palace," Serena said with a giggle as her mother held out her bare ankle with excitement. "It's good to see you home."

"It really is," Eric said as he gave Chuck a hug as well. "How are you?"

"Ask me in a week," Chuck told him as they all took seats in the living room.

"Why is it you won't let me hug you?" Serena pouted as she sat in the armchair, her mother and brother sitting on either side of Chuck.

"It's probably your sparkling personality, rubs him the wrong way," Nate said, getting a laugh out of everyone except Serena who continued to pout.

"Anyway, what are your plans now that your back?" he asked Chuck.

"Well," Chuck started as he looked at Lily, "I do believe I start back at Bass Industries next week."

"You do," Lily smiled before looking at her children and Nate, "Can you give us a few minutes?"

"Sure," Eric told her as he and Nate stood up. "Come on," he muttered as he pulled Serena up and they all walking into the kitchen to give Chuck and Lily privacy.

"Charles," Lily said when it was just the two of them, "Tell me what's going through your mind."

"I'm fine," he said as she looked at him. "I will be fine. It's one step at a time, right?"

"This will all take time," Lily said gently. "She'll come around soon enough."

"The sale on the Empire went through last week," he told her. "The captain is having the money set up in various stock options. My hope is to invest wisely and be able to buy back Bass Industries within the decade."

He continued to tell her about the plans he drew up with the captain and his lawyers while at the Ostroff Center, impressing her with his determination and business savvy.

"Just keep your focus on work, the rest will fall into place when the time is right," Lily told him as he nodded.

"You can come back now," Lily called as they all rounded the corner.

They spent the rest of the afternoon discussing their plans for the fall. Nate and Serena were continuing with their studies at Columbia, Eric was heading off to Sarah Lawrence, and Chuck was going back to Bass Industries with Lily's help.

While Chuck was happy to be going back to work, he couldn't help but think how much he wanted to call Blair and tell her what he was feeling. But he couldn't do that, he told her he would wait for her to make the first move and he needed to respect that. Keeping his word to Blair was the only thing he could do and he was going to be damned if he screwed them up once more.

**October 1, 2011  
><strong>

"Do you have time to talk with me, Miss Blair?" Dorota asked as she poked her head into the bathroom as Blair got ready.

"I'm meeting Nate and Dan in an hour," she said as she put on her mascara. "Is this important?"

"I hear about you know who from Vanya," Dorota said uncomfortably.

"You can say Chuck's name," Blair said as she continued putting on her makeup. "What news do you have?" She may not be ready to talk with him herself but wasn't going to pass up information on him.

"Vanya say he working very hard at Bass Industries," Dorota started. "Go in early and get home late, most time bringing work with him. He also tell me that other than the van der Woodsens and Mr. Nate, no one else visits him."

"Is that all, Dorota?" Blair asked.

"He's trying," Dorota said. She always had a soft spot for Chuck, she could see that he loved Blair and knew that her mistress loved him as well. Dorota just wished that so much had to happen to make them drift further and further apart.

"I know," Blair said as she swiped on her lipgloss, "But it's going to take more this time."

"You ready to try again with him?" Dorota inquired as she tried to hold in her excitement.

"Soon," Blair told her. "I'll let you know when I do. But for now, I have a lunch date that I'd rather not be late for."

"My ride better be waiting when I get downstairs," Blair called as she grabbed her purse and made her way down the stairs.

Dorota scrambled to the phone to call the concierge, breathing a sigh of relief when he told her the car was indeed waiting for Blair.

Nate and Dan were already waiting for her out front when she arrived.

"You're early," Blair stated as she looked at her watch, "Because I'm on time."

"We know," Dan said with a grin. "No need to get so touchy, Waldorf."

They made their way to the table they reserved in the back and after ordering, began talking about how their first month of classes were going.

"It's brutal," Nate lamented, "Do they realize we have more than one class?"

"Stop complaining and toughen up," Dan told him. "You're only taking four classes and you're not interning. Blair and I are taking six classes and interning three days a week. Do you see us complaining? No, that's because we prioritize our time and don't spend six hours playing X-box when we should be writing a paper."

"Hey," Nate exclaimed, "I've only done that a few times, and I always get the paper in."

"Yeah, late," Dan said as he took a sip of his drink. "How are you managing classes with your internship, Blair?"

"Good," she smiled, "I have it all down to a science. With enough coffee and four hours sleep a night, everything is getting done, and on time."

"Not nice," Nate said as she smirked. Before he could say anything more, their food arrived.

"I have no more excuses to avoid them anymore," Blair told her friends, surprising them with her topic of choice. "I've put it off as long as I could but I'm settled in now, I need to talk to them."

"Are you ready for that?" Dan asked her.

"Yes," she said, "And no. But I have to."

"Why?" Nate asked.

"Because I told them I would," Blair told them. "And I always keep my word."

What she wasn't telling them was that she wanted to make sure her timing with Chuck this time didn't get screwed up. She needed to be in control of the pace they took and she needed to be the one to initiate their initial conversation. As for Serena, she wanted the blonde to stop harassing Dorota.

"Anything we can do to help?" Dan asked as Nate nodded in agreement.

"Actually, yes, there is," she told them.

**October 4, 2011  
><strong>

After weeks of going back and forth on when and where to meet with Chuck, Blair decided on the one place that would ensure their privacy and the place she chose was perfect. If he showed, then she would know he was serious about making things work with her.

Chuck was on his way to work when the concierge handed him an envelope. He immediately recognized her handwriting and had it open by the time he stepped in the limo.

'She has to be kidding me,' he thought as he reread where she wanted him to meet her.

'Alright,' he thought, 'I guess I deserve that. At least she contacted me.'

**_Please review to let me know you'd like me to continue. And if I haven't heard from you yet, leave a review. Lots of you have favorited or alerted this story but have yet to leave a comment. I'd love to hear your thoughts and it's very easy to do, not to mention it would really make me smile =D_**

_**Chuck and Blair come face to face in the next chapter, after four long months apart! Where do you think she asked him to meet her? And how do you think their talk will go? **_

_**For those of you eager for angst and tears, expect both with the next chapter. They begin therapy and let me just say one word to describe it, explosive =o Prepare yourselves for my rant of how Chair went wrong. **_

_**Remember, more reviews = more love = faster update. And I loved detailed reviews, the longer the better =) **_


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Author's Note: Thank you all so much for the continued detailed reviews, favorites, and alerts!

This chapter was half written when I posted the last one because ever since season three ended and then with the beginning of season four, I've been mulling over what I would have done differently and what I imagined would be said between Blair and Chuck if they ever did discuss where they went wrong. It took me longer to post though because I wanted to get their first meeting as perfect as I could. And by perfect I mean tense, awkward, and slightly painful.

I'm very surprised that nobody figured out where Blair asked Chuck to meet her. I dropped clues, but alas, we soon find out, LOL! Your guesses were very good though, I thought about some of them but settled on what you'll read about. The therapy sessions for Blair and Chuck start at the end of this chapter and will continue in the coming chapters. Things are going to get choppy but it's something they both want and need. This reconciliation will not happen quickly, it will build as they slowly start to heal.

If any of you are in the mood to read some smutty Chair, I've posted the latest chapter of _The Way We Were_. I'll be posting the next chapter for _Of Course_ within the week. I'm also in the process of a new story going off the idea that the positive pregnancy test we saw at the end of 4x22 is Blair's, and that the baby is Chuck's. It will be different than the other stories posted on that idea so I hope you'll check it out when I post it.

Shop247 – Thank you! I try very hard to employ proper grammar and spell-check. I can't wait to read your thoughts on this chapter.

GGfan73104 – Thanks so much! I was getting antsy too so the time jump was definitely needed. I love when Blair is strong and put together, we all know she is anything but weak. Work is definitely going to be a solace for both Blair and Chuck in this story. Looking forward to your reaction of where Blair asked Chuck to meet her.

TriGemini – Thank you so much! I totally agree that things will get worse before they can get better for Blair and Chuck. As much as hashing out the past is going to hurt, it's the only thing that can let them move on to a healthy relationship. Many harsh words will be said and it will be difficult for them to keep it together. As always, I'm really looking forward to reading your next review.

Trosev – Thanks so much! I too love Blair's friendships with Eric, Nate, and Dan and am happy you do too. Can't wait to read your reaction to their first meeting and then their first therapy session.

ChairBass – Thank you!

Pty – Thank you so much! So happy you enjoyed the last chapter. I love when Nate gets called out for being man-bangs, it's very amusing and I like to write it ;) And I know, why can't Blair and Chuck finally get their acts together and be a normal couple on the show? You're right about the place Blair chose making Chuck uncomfortable but it isn't Victrola or the Empire. Please keep the spoilers coming, reading your reviews are the only way I get the dirt on season five as I'm too scared to look at them myself, LOL! I can't wait to read your next review and get your reaction to them being in the same room after so long.

MrChuck – Thanks! Looking forward to what you think of their meeting place.

Ellibells – Thank you! I'm a sucker for Dair friendship too! I can't wait to read you comments on where they meet and how their therapy session goes.

Tiff xoxo – Thanks! Let me know what you think of this chapter as they begin the reconciliation process.

88Mary88 – Thank you so much! We'll see more of Blair and Roman interacting later in the story so don't worry. I agree that it isn't fair how Chuck is coddled while Blair is made out to be the bad guy but I'm planning a scene with Lily running into Blair and gaining a little insight. And yes, Blair has made her share of mistakes but they pale in comparison to what Chuck has done, I plan on having Blair give Chuck something worse than hell, guilt. Her reaction to him won't be what he's expecting and it is going to eat him alive how sad he's made the only woman he's ever really loved. And I love Blair as a workaholic, that will definitely be a plot point in this story. I'm really looking forward to reading your review on where I took this chapter.

Layla Waldorf-Bass – Thank you! Their talk will be sad but it's also hopeful because they're working toward resolving their issues. Can't wait to read your comments on this chapter.

Chairfanforever – Thanks so much! Looking forward to your reaction on where they meet and how it goes.

_Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl, or Ed Westwick – sigh. _

**October 8, 2011  
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Blair spent the better part of the morning fretting over what to wear. After trying on a dozen different skirt and blouse combinations and just as many dresses, she finally decided on a classic taupe sheath dress. After slipping on a pair of brown pumps and fixing her hair, she decided to add a navy cardigan because she felt too exposed and didn't want to send the wrong impression with what she was wearing. She would rather err on the side of looking like she was going to work rather than going on a date and was as comfortable as she could be with what she had on.

Dan met her limo at when she pulled up in front of the loft and got the door for her. He could see how nervous she was and had espresso and macaroons waiting for her upstairs.

"Thanks for letting me meet with him here," Blair told him as she paced back and forth with the espresso in hand. "I really don't need this splashed all over Gossip Girl and this was the only place I could think of that would be safe."

"I'm glad to hear that and be able to help," Dan smiled. "Do you want me to go now or should I wait until Chuck gets here?"

"You don't have to wait until he's here," she said, "I know you don't like him."

He shrugged as he pulled back the door to the loft only to come face to face with Chuck. Chuck stood stock-still as Dan turned back to Blair, "I'll be back in half an hour. Call me if you need me sooner."

"Thank you, Dan," Blair said as he nodded and brushed past Chuck, who stepped inside before Dan closed the door behind him.

He looked so different than when she last saw him. To start with, he was clean-shaven and sober. But even though he looked well rested, he still seemed unhappy.

"How are you?" he asked as he nervously looked at her, wanting to give her a hug but not wanting to upset her.

"I've been better," she told him as she motioned for him to sit. "And you?"

"The same," he said. "You look good."

"Thank you," she said as she felt herself losing some of the control she built up over the summer. Being in such close proximity to him again was making it difficult for her to focus on why she contacted him but she forced herself to remain on-task.

"I was surprised when you asked me to meet you here," he said, bringing her back to the present situation.

"It was about time we talked, and I wanted our first meeting to be on my terms," she told him. "I don't want everyone knowing my business."

"That, and I know you hate Dan," she added. "I knew if you showed up here in Brooklyn that you were serious about making us work this time."

"I am," he said as he reached for her hand.

"No touching," she told him. "I need this to be on my terms, and that's one of them."

"Like last year's treaty?" he asked with a slight smirk at the memory of them breaking it.

"No, this is nothing like that," she said. "This is just a verbal agreement based on trust. If this gets broken, I'm afraid there's nothing either of us will be able to do to pick up those pieces."

Blair was trying to think of this in terms of black and white but when it came to Chuck her emotions always tended to get the better of her. As she was gathering her thoughts again, Chuck spoke once more.

"I need to apologize in person for my actions that night," he said. "I had no right to judge you, I'm sorry."

"You had absolutely no right to judge me," she told him. "But we're not going to talk about that now."

"What are we here to talk about then?" he asked, assuming she was going to ream into him for all that he'd done.

"How we're supposed to move forward," she said. "I still see a future with you, Chuck, but it's a distant future."

He could feel the oxygen slowly leaving his airways as she looked at him. He was waiting for her to erupt and start screaming but it didn't look like it was coming. She remained emotionless as she sat with perfect posture and her hands clasped in her lap.

"Where does that leave us then, Blair?" he asked uncertainly.

"It leaves us in a mess, that's where," she said wryly. "No matter my feelings for you I need to be on my own for the time being. And I really need to wait for me, as much as I may want to, I will not go back to you if you're with anyone else from here on out."

"I know this probably means nothing to you, but that last bender of mine didn't involve any women, just alcohol and drugs," he told her. "You were the only one I could think of. I don't want to be with anyone other than you, Blair. I've always loved you."

"And those three words aren't a magic fix for us anymore," she told him. "The only thing that might have the potential to fix us is therapy, which is why I've set up weekly sessions for us every Monday with your therapist."

"Wait, you already set them up? How?" he asked, shocked that she was not only willing to go to therapy with him but also that she set them up already.

"I have my ways," she said with a small smirk, not about to give away Eric for helping her. "While I may not be ready to be with you right now, I know I don't want to be with anyone else either."

"Thank you," he said as he reached for her hand only to have her shake her head.

"I'm not finished with the conditions," she started. "We are to meet every Monday at one. It's the only time I have free. Second, that is the only time I want to see or talk with you. And third, you need to get Serena to leave me alone. More importantly, you need to get her to leave Dorota alone. I can be dangerous but Dorota is lethal."

"No touching, Mondays at one, and reign in the blonde," he reiterated the conditions, "I can do that."

"I'll see you on Monday, Chuck," Blair said as she stood up and looked at her watch. "We have a long, difficult road ahead of us. You ready for it?"

"I'm not going anywhere if that's what you're getting at," he told her with a small smirk.

"Good, good," she said as she checked the time again. "Dan should be back soon and."

Blair wasn't able to finish when Nate opened the door slowly to find his two friends standing awkwardly in the middle of the loft.

"You're both alive, that's good," he smiled as he pushed back his hair.

"What are you doing here?" Chuck asked, not expecting to see Nate.

"To get you," Nate said cheerfully. "I thought we could hang out."

"Go," Blair told Chuck when he looked at her. "I'll see you Monday."

"Will you be okay?" Chuck asked, not wanting to leave her alone.

"I'll be fine, Dan will be back any minute," she told him.

**October 9, 2011  
><strong>

Chuck spent the last half hour trying to get Serena to stop pestering him about Blair.

"Leave her alone, S," he told his stepsister as they sat in the living room of his new apartment. "She needs her space."

"But it's not fair, you get to see her," Serena pouted. "She met with you to start patching your relationship and she won't even take my calls or answer my texts."

"Our relationship is non-existent for the time being. And she only met with me to tell me she'll join me in therapy for an hour each week," he told her, "Lots of nasty things are going to resurface and it will be months, maybe even years before we get back what we had. Be glad it's not you two doing that."

"At least she wants to work things out with you," she said sadly as she curled into the corner of the couch, hugging a pillow in her lap. "Blair doesn't even want to see me."

"What did you expect when you tried to ambush her at the penthouse?" Chuck asked her. "You know she hates surprises like that."

"You would have done the same," she fired back, getting more and more upset that he was actually making sense.

"Not this time," he said. "I told her I'd wait for her to make the first move and I respected that. You wouldn't leave until Dorota threatened you. Blair likes to have control over everything, you'll know when she wants to talk to you."

"What else did she say to you?" Serena asked.

"That's between us," he told her. "All I'll say is that she wants to try, I can't ask for more."

"Are you happy with that?" she inquired. "Therapy with her was what you wanted, right?"

"Yeah," he said, "If she'll willing spend an hour a week with me, I can't object."

"Talk about something different," Chuck said. "How are Eric and Lily?"

"Eric's good," Serena smiled, "He loves college so far and sounds really happy whenever I talk to him. As for mom, she's busy trying to rebuild her social standing. But you should know that, she's at Bass Industries a lot."

They continued talking about Lily and Eric until Chuck finally kicked his stepsister out, blaming it on having to wake up early for work. After some prodding and actual pushing, she was out and he was finally able to go to bed. He tossed and turned all night, not able to sleep a wink in anticipation of seeing Blair the next day.

**October 10, 2011  
><strong>

"Why am I here?" Blair reiterated the therapist's question. "I'm here because for some reason that I have yet to understand, I still love Chuck. And I want us to work through everything that's happened in a controlled environment."

"A controlled environment?" the doctor inquired. Never in all his years of practice had he heard a patient use that phrase before.

"Yes," Blair said. "We tried this on our own last year and it blew up in our faces. I won't let that happen again."

"Can you expand on that for me?" the doctor asked as he scribbled something down. "What exactly did you try on your own?"

"A truce," she told him. "Our friends arranged it and we even had a notary make it official. It didn't last long before we agreed it was broken and Chuck tore it in half. We then proceeded to have sex."

Chuck smirked at the memory when Blair said, "As much as I'd like to rip his clothes off and have sex with him right now, I refuse. I won't let it happen like that again."

He choked before coughing furiously and it was her turn to smirk. "The next time we're together, if we ever get to that place, it won't be just sex," she said softly with seriousness in her tone. "I need more than that. I also don't know how long it will be before I feel ready for that next step with you."

"I told you I'd wait," he said anxiously. "I meant it, I don't want anyone but you."

"You say that now," she told him, "But how long can you last before your base needs kick in? I will not be some itch you need scratched and I sure as hell won't be with you if you're with some whore again."

"Blair," the doctor cut in, "I think I can see where you're going with this but can you spell out exactly what it is you want."

"Fine," she said. "I want to know that he will not have sex with anyone but me, ever again if he wants us to work. And he needs to know that sex with me won't happen for quite some time. Getting back what we had will be difficult, and I need to know he's not going to run at the first sign of discomfort."

"I'm glad you bring this up," the doctor told her. "What I'd like to do before we begin is set up goals that you both hope to achieve from our sessions. Let's start with you, Blair."

"I want Chuck, I do," she said as she avoided making eye contact with the one man she found herself inextricably drawn back to time after time. "But too much has happened for us to just ignore it all like we've done in the past. We have to talk about everything and I need to know he won't abandon this when it gets difficult. You need to fight for me this time."

Chuck was staring intently at her when she turned to look at him with his last statement. It hurt him that she didn't trust him but he finally understood that it was his turn to fight for her. "I'm not going anywhere," he told her. "Whatever happens, from here on out, you're it for me."

She nodded as she bit her lip and looked away from him. That's when the doctor asked, "What do you hope to gain from our sessions?"

"Blair's trust," he replied, surprising her with his candor. "What's transpired this past year broke us. I know we can fix it, and if we're both willing to work towards that, I don't see why we can't."

"Good, good," the doctor said as he wrote down what they just said. "Now that we have that squared away, where should we begin?"

"Where should we begin?" Blair repeated as her anger bubbled back to the surface. "How about when he threw away everything we had to make a deal to trade me, his girlfriend he claimed to love, to his disgusting uncle for one night in exchange for his beloved hotel?"

"I no longer own the Empire," he said quietly. "The sale went through last week."

"You should have said goodbye to that place when Jack wanted it," she fired back. "But no, you had to hold on to it because of all the hard work you put into it. Never mind the hard work that went into our relationship."

She was throwing his words back at him and she knew it. Usually quick with a nasty retort, Chuck was rendered virtually speechless at the anger radiating from her. That didn't stop him from his voicing his next comment though.

"But you were willing to go through with it," he said, regretting it as soon as he saw the fire in her eyes.

"Because I loved you, you bastard," she seethed. "I thought it was the only option. I didn't realize that you were playing me, too."

"I've made my share of mistakes when it's come to us and we'll discuss those in time," she said as she looked at the therapist. "But it will always go back to him screwing the first thing in a skirt when he doesn't get what he wants from me. Relationships must have give and take, from both parties."

"That's true, Blair," the doctor said, trying to calm the tone in the room. "But try to express your feelings over the Empire in a lower voice."

"As much as that hurt, it was nothing compared to the heartbreak I felt when I found out you slept with Jenny," she told him. "That was a knife in my heart I still feel."

"I thought you were done with me," he exclaimed. "Nothing mattered at that point."

"How long did you even wait for me?" she cried. "It wasn't even dark when I got there to find the peonies in the trash. You didn't even wait there and then you had sex with the one person you knew I wouldn't be able to move past. I had forgiven you for your indecent proposal only to have you betray me once again."

"I'm sorry," he said exasperatedly. "I can't change it, what more can I do?"

"You can tell me how you were able to move on so suddenly with Eva?" she said. "You went from breaking my heart and having sex with a girl in high school to blissfully playing house with some reformed hooker in Paris."

"Did you forget I got shot?" he countered. "I only met Eva because she found me bleeding to death in a back alley in Prague."

"And that never would have happened if you didn't run away again," she exclaimed. "You have never tried to fight for me, instead you choose to run and look at what happened because of it."

Chuck was rendered speechless at her words. "Blair," he said as he felt his mouth go dry.

"Don't," she said as she felt her eyes welling up with tears and she breathed a sigh of relief when the alarm on her phone went off. "Our first session is over," she told him as she stood up and put her phone back in her purse after silencing it. "I have to get back to school but I'll see you next week."

"We'll pick up right where we left off next week," the doctor said as she stopped at the door and nodded before she left.

Even though the session was over, Chuck stayed where he was on the couch, still in shock with how she viewed him getting shot.

"Tell me how you're feeling," the doctor said to him.

"It makes sense," Chuck said. "I could have prevented all of this if I didn't run away again. But it's what I do, I've always run when things got too tough."

"You didn't run just now," the doctor told him. "You checked yourself into a treatment facility instead of running. Why do you think you did that?"

"It was about time," Chuck said as he looked at his hands. "Maybe I'd finally had enough."

"And what does that tell you?" the doctor asked.

"That maybe I finally see running away solves nothing," Chuck told him.

**October 16, 2011  
><strong>

Blair's week went by quickly but was exhausting for her at the same time. Eighteen hours were spent in class and she had at least six hours of homework each night. And, on top of everything, she was at work all-day Saturday. She caught an abnormality in one of the briefs she was filing and when she brought it to the attention of the associate she was working for, he told her if she wrote it up properly that he would let her sit in on the deposition.

Knowing that she scored her in, she began working on it immediately, going in on the weekend to make use of their legal library and leave it for him on his desk when he got in on Monday.

By the time Sunday rolled around, she allowed herself to sleep until nine o'clock before taking a leisurely bath. Her plan was to engage in some retail therapy and then return home ready to study for the LSATs. Three pencil skirts, a blazer, and a pair of Louboutin pumps later, she was walking out of Bendel's with a smile on her face, until she saw Serena walking towards her.

"What do you want?" Blair asked her when she literally ran into her as she was leaving the store.

"To talk, then I'll leave you alone, I promise," the blonde said. "Five minutes, please?"

"You have five minutes," Blair told her as she looked at her watch and stepped back inside, moving to a corner so they would have some modicum of privacy.

"I'm sorry I sided with Chuck," Serena said. "I never wanted to choose, I thought we'd be able to talk it out in the morning but you were gone."

"I needed a change of scenery," Blair said. "A place where I wasn't reminded of everything that happened with Gossip Girl lurking around every corner."

"Did you have a good time with your dad?" Serena asked.

"Yes, I always have a good time when I visit daddy and Roman," Blair said, looking at her watch and picking up her bags once more.

"I'm glad you and Chuck are working things out," Serena said as Blair went to turn around, stopping in her tracks.

"What did he tell you?" Blair asked tensely, growing livid at the thought of Chuck sharing what she said at therapy to anyone.

"Nothing, all he told me was that he's happy you're going to therapy with him," Serena told her with confusion. "Did something happen?"

"Yes," Blair said, "But nothing bad. I have to go."

"We'll talk soon," she told Serena as she made her way back onto Fifth Avenue.

As upset and angry as Blair still was with Chuck, a small part of her couldn't help but be happy that he didn't tell anyone about what really happened at their therapy session. That knowledge would make it easier for her to face him the next day and pick up where they left off. Blair knew it would get ugly with where they left off but had greater faith that everything would pan out eventually. They just needed to get through talking about their painful past.

**_Please review if you'd like me to continue. And if I haven't heard from you yet, leave a review. Lots of you have favorited or alerted this story but have yet to leave a comment. I'd love to hear your thoughts and it's very easy to do, not to mention it would really make me smile =D_**

**_Were you expecting Blair to ask Chuck to meet her at Dan's? And did you see her accusation about him getting shot? Well, that's how I would have played it if I wrote for Gossip Girl. _**

**_It is an uphill battle for our favorite couple that is only going to get worse before it can get better. This is just the start of many more sessions to come where events will be relived, secrets will be revealed, and the waterworks will flow. _**

**_What did you think of how Blair and Chuck behaved in therapy? Believable? I don't think I need to tell you what I think of the events discussed as I had Blair say them for me. _**

**_Remember, more reviews = more love = faster update =) And I love detailed reviews, the longer the better. _**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Author's Note: Thank you all so much for the detailed feedback, you have no idea how much it helps me! I really appreciate what you think of the characters and I'm tweaking my future chapters accordingly. I loved the suggestions you gave so look for them in the coming chapters.

I really struggled with this chapter because I wanted to pay heed to all your feedback. In the last chapter, Blair was extremely guarded because she doesn't trust herself with Chuck, if she's not careful she believes they will fall right back into their old routine of just sex and she knows she won't be able to handle that. As for Chuck, he really doesn't want to piss her off any further so he's walking on eggshells for the time being. But they'll snap at each other and their tenuous relationship will get more tenuous at points.

I'd also like to share how I see the characters' approach to therapy. Blair, while still in love with Chuck, doesn't understand how she still can be and is struggling to become her own woman while still wanting him. She's able to keep it together around other people but is a wreck on the inside. Chuck, on the other hand, is extremely grateful that Blair is willing to give him another chance and is biting his tongue more than he normally would for fear of her calling it quits for good.

Remember, this was their first time discussing things so it's new to them. Chuck will do more talking in this chapter but at the end of the day, what he's done cannot be equated to what Blair's done and he knows that. They are both in the wrong but he's always more to blame.

Also, these therapy sessions are going to be much longer than I originally thought. There are things you mentioned in your reviews that you wished I had gone into more detail on so I'm going to do just that. It also seems natural that for therapy you don't just talk about something once and then never discuss it again. So, we will be revisiting the Empire trade and what happened with Jenny again.

Hopefully you like where I take this and please, continue to tell me what you want to read and I will do my very best to include it in future chapters. But remember, what I think is important and a big issue may differ from what you think. So, just tell me your thoughts and I will do my best to reach a happy medium for us both =D

And just to keep track of the time, this chapter has two therapy sessions that are a week apart so we end mid-October. Do you all remember what's in mid-November? I do ;)

Random song suggestion – Faith Hill's "Love Ain't Like That" reminds me of Blair and Chuck in this chapter. Their love is anything but easy but neither of them is willing to let go of it because they both know that they will never find it again with anyone else. Let me know what you think of it if you listen to it =)

By the way, I've updated _Of Course_ and the new chapter of _The Way We Were_ will be up shortly.

Thank you all so much for the feedback, you'll notice that your comments were read and I've addressed most of them.

88Mary88 – 100th review! Thank you so, so, so much! I absolutely love long reviews and hope you continue to leave them, I love reading your feedback. Workaholic Blair is amazing and she continues to be that way. And she must become her own person without anyone else's help before she can be with Chuck again. I can't wait to read your thoughts on this chapter.

Shop247 – Thank you! I'm glad I was able to surprise you and that you like how Blair and Chuck are in this story. Looking forward to what you thought of them in this chapter.

24hrscout – Thanks! I feel for you on the pain in this story, usually I write Chuck and Blair in a slightly better place but wanted to try something new. I'm looking forward to what you think of this chapter and what you'd like to read next.

Pty – Thanks so much! I'm hoping this is another intense chapter as well. I agree with the new cast member, could it be Charlie/Ivy? Or is it someone else? I really hope it's not the prince because he and Blair cannot get married I tell you, they cannot. I won't rant and I look forward to your review of this chapter.

Syatapandlisten – Thanks! Let me know how you like this chapter.

Tiff xoxo – Thank you! Looking forward to what you think of how this chapter played out.

Xocbx0 – Thank you! What would you like to read in the coming chapters? I love feedback and can't wait to read yours.

Ellibells – Thank you so much! Chuck does talk more and tries to explain why he gave in and Blair continues to struggle with how she feels. As for Chuck being there for Blair emotionally, I've been planning a scene a la _Casino Royale_. Remember when James walks in on Vesper crying and soaking wet in the shower, something like that. What do you think? Can't wait to read your thoughts on this chapter.

Maribells – Thanks so much! I totally agree on wanting their dynamic to be more balanced and it will be, but it will take some time before it gets there. That being said, I hate having Blair act like a victim. Yes, she is pissed at Chuck in this story and he is desperate for any time he can get with her but I don't think he's begging for just scraps. Blair makes it crystal clear that she wants him and loves him but needs time, and Chuck is doing his best to respect that. As for the OOC, I'm having them mature so hopefully that's where it's coming from. The push and pull between them continues and I can't wait to read what your take on it is.

TriGemini – Thank you so much! Agreed, Chuck does have issue with Blair's relationship with Dan and goes off on her about it. And it is pretty torturous for them to be so close to each other but still so far apart emotionally. While their issues did start from the first time they slept together, this story will only tackle the issues from the Empire trade on. Too much has been said and done and I really feel that anything that happened before they started dating they've already come to terms with. I hope you get where I'm coming from. As always, looking forward to your next review.

Trosev – Thank you! Can't wait to read your comments on this chapter and any suggestions you may have for future chapters.

GGfan73104 – Thanks so much! So glad you like where this story is going. I'm looking forward to reading your review of this chapter.

Chairfanforever – Thank you! Chuck does explain more why he was with Jenny. What do you think Blair's done wrong? I want to try and include as much of what you want to read as possible. Can't wait to read your thoughts on this chapter.

Layla Waldorf-Bass – Thanks! They are definitely endgame but it will be a while before they are a couple again. Any suggestions on how they can get there? Looking forward to your feedback on this chapter.

_Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl, or Ed Westwick – sigh. _

**October 17, 2011  
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"We ended last week with you making a very big accusation," the therapist started.

"I was upset, and what I said was true," she stated icily. "If he didn't run away, if he stayed and tried to fix things with me, he never would have been in that alley and he never would have been shot."

"But he did run," the doctor stated as Chuck cringed. "And a series of events unfolded that can't be taken back. Nothing can be done at this point expect forgiveness."

"I've forgiven him for a lot," Blair told him. "I still can't wrap my head around how I went to meet him at the Empire State Building last year. He willingly deceived me and I was willing to sleep with Jack to save a hotel. Yet with all that and all the women I knew he was with from the time I broke up with him, I still would have welcomed him back with open arms."

"I'm sorry, I really am," Chuck said, growing frustrated.

"Stop apologizing," she said as she finally looked at him. "I get that you're sorry, I'm sure you wish you could do it differently. At least I hope you do," she added while looking away.

"Believe me, not a day goes by where I don't wish I kicked her out," he told her.

"Can you tell me, without saying her name," Blair emphatically expressed as she looked at him again, "What possessed you to sleep with the one person you knew I wouldn't be able to look past?"

"I thought you were done with me," he told her once more. "Nothing mattered to me at that point. I know it's something I shouldn't have done and I am sorry for it, but at the time she was there and I honestly thought you would never want anything to do with me."

"I shouldn't have but I did, and I do," she said as she looked at him sideways, feeling herself get flush. "Maybe your reasoning makes sense but it still hurts. And what sucks is that this all happened over a year ago and it feels like it just happened. We have so much left to discuss."

"That's what you're here to do," the therapist said. "As painful as it is to talk about, discussing the past will make it easier to move on. But let's get back to where we were last week, you were very upset with Chuck moving on."

"Moving on? He not only brought her back to Manhattan to rub in my face, he gave her a foundation and declared to everyone how that dirty whore made you a better man," Blair spat. "I was the one who made you a better man. If it weren't for me you'd still be drinking a bottle of scotch with a different hooker in your bed every night."

"I'm sorry," he exclaimed again. "Eva was a mistake and we all know that."

"Stop it, now," she snapped. "Those words mean nothing anymore. Just like saying I love you won't fix us, apologizing won't lessen the sting of what happened."

"What do you suggest then, Blair?" the therapist asked.

"He's sorry, I get that," she stated. "I'm sorry, and he knows that. But actions need to speak louder than those words now."

"What do you want me to do?" Chuck asked with frustration. "You don't want to see me outside of these sessions and you're always busy. How am I to show you how truly sorry I am if you won't spend any time with me?"

"I don't know, I really don't know," Blair said as she remembered what they were talking about in the first place. "What I do know is that when I scared your little tramp off you made my life hell. You ruined plans I had made for school and my career without any second thought.

"I asked you that night if you did it because you still loved me," he said. "You told me no. Did you really think I'd sit back and let you get away with that?"

"You really are a moron," Blair exclaimed. "Did you expect me to admit that after everything you did to me? Yes, I gave you back the ring in Paris and told you I didn't love you anymore. I was heartbroken, and so afraid to let you back into my life only to get hurt again."

"And what did you do?" she cried as her tirade continued. "You declared war on me and proceeded to ruin me. Bringing back Little J was low, even for you."

"We were at war, Blair," he said as he lowered his voice. "I play to win."

"So do I," she said, "But I wouldn't have brought her back."

"Only because you hate her," Chuck said.

"No, because hearing her name or seeing her face is like a stab in the heart," Blair told him. "But you slept with her and there's no taking that back. We may have broken the truce we signed but the hate sex sure brought us back together."

"We were so happy those few weeks," Blair stated with regret in her eyes. "Everything was light and we couldn't get enough of each other."

"I thought we were finally going to get back together then," Chuck said as his hand inched closer to hers but stopped short of touching it. "I shouldn't have let you walk away the night of Saints and Sinners, I should have fought for you."

"And I should have taken you back," she told him as she felt herself getting choked up at her missed opportunity. "I regret that every day. I know I told you I didn't expect you to wait for me but you just brushed me aside like I meant nothing."

"You didn't want me," Chuck exclaimed. "You agreed that we'd eventually find our way back to each other. I thought I was doing the right thing by letting you go. I was trying to make you happy."

"But you didn't need to move on so fast," she cried out. "How can you say you know me better than I know myself when all you do is hurt me? I wanted you to fight for me and you didn't. You never do until it's too late. You just find the next attractive warm body and forget everything we have."

"I don't even know why I'm here," she said softly and full of sadness, mostly to herself but Chuck and the therapist heard her. "There's no way we can get back what we had."

"We can try to be better," he said gently as he went to reach for her hand but withdrew at the last moment when he remembered her conditions. It got her to look at him though as he continued, "I've been miserable to you and I hate myself for that. There's no way we can go back but I'm not running away anymore.

"Question," the therapist said as they looked at him with confusion in their eyes. "Chuck, I've noticed that you'll reach for Blair and withdraw at the last second. Why is that?"

"No touching," he stated as Blair looked away and fiddled with the hem of her skirt. "It was one of her conditions."

"Conditions?" the doctor questioned as he wrote this down. "What kind of conditions?"

"To be here," Blair said. "Things between Chuck and I can get very complicated when there's any skin to skin contact. I want to keep things between us as platonic as I can until our issues are resolved."

"How can a touch as innocent as reaching for your arm be too much?" the doctor questioned.

"Because it will soon escalate to more and I want to prevent that," she said. "I'd rather be too cautious that get hurt again."

"I love you, I'm not going to do anything to make you upset anymore," Chuck told her. "No one comes close to how I feel for you."

"You keep claiming that I'm the love of your life but you have a rotten way of showing it," she stated as she moved as far away from him as she could without leaving the couch.

"Announcing that you were off to enjoy sex games with women in the rainforest," she cried as she brought them back to the issue they got sidetracked with. "A slap in the face would have felt the same."

"You could have tried to stop me," he told her, angry that the blame kept falling on him.

"I followed you to the elevator," she said. "I all but begged you not to leave, yet you did. Even I have my limits when it comes to you."

"Why are you even here?" he exclaimed as he got more and more irritated with how she was treating him. "Is this just a game for you? Are you toying with me by letting me think we have a chance only to pull the rug out from under me at some point?"

"How dare you?" she seethed through clenched teeth in a low voice. "I am here to try and move past the pain we caused each other. We hurt each other, Chuck, that doesn't go away overnight."

Once again, he was rendered speechless at how composed she was able to stay when she was obviously so upset.

"Don't say it, I know," she told him when he went to apologize. "I have to get back to Columbia," she said as she looked at her watch. "We still have a long way to go, but I'm not giving up."

**October 22, 2011  
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Chuck sat in the living room of his new apartment with Eric. He came home for the weekend and spent most of Saturday with Chuck.

"Are you okay?" Eric asked. "You haven't said two words. Did something happen with Blair?"

"Yes," Chuck told him, "And no."

"How cryptic," Eric said with a small smile on his face, not realizing how upset Chuck really was. "Why yes and no?"

"I went off on her and she didn't get mad at me," Chuck said. "She just seems sad."

"That must be killing you," Eric said as he touched his stepbrother's arm.

"I don't understand why she's doing these sessions with me," Chuck told him. "She's still angry but is freakishly calm. I'd feel better if she went off on me."

"It' Blair," Eric said. "She never does what you expect, and she's always had a very tight reign on her emotions. Have you talked with her outside of the therapy sessions at all?"

"She won't see me outside of therapy," Chuck said. "We're going nowhere at this rate."

"Tell her this," Eric suggested. "On Monday, tell her you want to spend more time with her."

"Have you lost your mind?" Chuck asked. "She'll cut me off if I do that."

"You're Chuck Bass, when do you ever hold back?" Eric asked.

"Since I checked myself into rehab," Chuck told him with raised eyebrows. "Have you blocked out what happened this summer?"

"I get that you feel awful about what happened and don't want to get her upset, but there are two of you in therapy," Eric said. "If this is something you want, you need to tell her."

"Before you bite my head off, hear me out," Eric continued as Chuck stared at him. "You're asking to spend time with her to prove you've changed. Show her this is sincere and that you don't want to hold back how you feel. I guarantee you she'll appreciate that."

"And how am I supposed to do that?" Chuck asked.

"I don't know," Eric shrugged, "You know her better than anyone, you'll figure out what to do sooner or later."

**October 23, 2011  
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After a stressful yet productive week of classes and interning, Blair decided to spend her Sunday morning in the Park feeding the ducks. Dorota said she would go with her but Blair didn't want to keep her from Ana and Vanya. Besides, she felt she needed more independence than she had in the past. Having her maid with her during her every waking hour was not providing it. That and she also quite enjoyed having the penthouse to herself.

No one bothered her as she fed the ducks, smiling as they all swam to where she threw the bread. When the loaf of bread she brought with her was gone, she started to make her way out of the Park. She had an economics exam to study for as well as starting to research her term papers. With her supervisor at work allowing her to accompany him to court, she would need the time to brush up on the various cases.

She was almost at the entrance when she spotted Lily walking in. Blair tried to turn away and get home without being seen but Lily saw her and was on her way over.

"Blair," Lily called out as Blair froze and slowly turned around. She was in no mood to be lectured yet again on why she should go easy on Chuck.

"Lily," Blair said politely, "I was just on my way home to study for an exam."

"Can we talk?" Lily asked. "I've been meaning to get a hold of you."

"That's nice but I really need to get going," Blair told her as she tried to inch away from her.

"How are things with you and Chuck?" Lily asked, skipping right to the topic she wanted to discuss. "He's very quiet about everything with you two."

"Please," Blair said, "You don't know the whole story."

"Will you tell me?" Lily asked

"I'm sorry, I don't have time," Blair told her

"Blair, please," Lily beseeched as she put her hand on the younger woman's arm. "I only know Chuck's side of it."

"Fine, I'll give you the brief version," Blair said as she shifted her purse from her right to left arm. "We both hurt each other, in ways only the two of us know. But even with that, I want to make us work, but it will take time. And I really don't need you or anyone else giving input into how I should move forward with all this."

"All I want is for you two to be happy once again," Lily said. "You were so good together."

"We're in therapy, Lily, a reconciliation won't happen overnight," Blair told her. "Please, stop pushing me. And let Serena know that as well, no one is going to force my hand on this. I really do need to leave now, have a good weekend."

**October 24, 2011  
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"Raina Thorpe was probably the second worst mistake you made after Little J," she said as they were back in the thick of it at their next session. "She was supposed to be leverage for you, not someone you grew feelings for. And so quickly might I add."

"She means nothings to me," Chuck told her. "Any feelings I had for her were only to get her to trust me."

"You called her sacred," Blair said as she cringed at the memory and the color drained from his face. "Yes, I heard that. Dan and I were hiding in the next room."

"I only said that because she told me nothing was sacred to me," Chuck said. "At the time I needed to say whatever I had to in order for her to stay."

"And even then, she didn't," Blair told him. "Another slap in the face for nothing."

"What about you and Dan?" Chuck asked as he raised his voice, realizing that he had issues with what she'd done as well. "You hated him as much as I did. Can you honestly tell me you didn't become friendly with him just to make me jealous?"

"Not everything is about you, Chuck," she said as she forced herself to stay in control of her emotions and not let on too much how distraught she really was about how he was with Raina. "Dan was the only one left in New York during the holidays, and the more time I spent with him, the more I realized I enjoyed his company."

"So much so that you kissed him," he said angrily.

"Yes, and it made me want you even more," Blair told him with sadness in her eyes. "I was ready to take you back, no questions asked, but when I found out you arranged for me to work that shoot it felt like another betrayal."

"I was only trying to help you," he told her. "If you would have let me explain."

"If I let you explain I knew I would fall right back into your arms and I couldn't do that," she started to say when her phone alarm went off. "We have more to talk about but it can wait until next week, we're done for today. I'll see you soon."

And Blair was out the door like she was every week, as soon as their hour was up. She returned each week but Chuck felt like they weren't making any progress.

"What are you feeling?" the doctor asked. "You've been talking a lot more than you did in our first session."

"Her conditions are holding us back," Chuck said. "How can we get anywhere if we only talk for an hour a week?"

"You need to bring this up next week," the doctor said as he wrote something down.

"I know," Chuck said as the therapist all but reiterated Eric's sentiments. "And I will."

**_Please review if you'd like me to continue. And if I haven't heard from you yet, leave a review. Lots of you have favorited or alerted this story but have yet to leave a comment. I'd love to hear your thoughts and it's very easy to do, not to mention it would really make me smile =D_**

**_If you didn't read my note at the top, please look at it as I explain a lot in it. _**

**_So, I revisited already touched upon events because you brought to my attention that they should have been talked about in more detail. Thank you for that, your feedback is really helping as this angst is new for me to write and I appreciate all of your comments. This chapter was also shorter than usual because I'd like to hear more from you before I continue with their sessions. I also wanted to have a short scene with both Chuck and Blair with another character. _**

**_What specifically do you think Blair's done wrong that needs to be talked about? I have some things in mind but am sure I'm missing some that I'd like to add if you bring them to my attention for the next chapter. I really can't think of anything other than her tricking him into kissing that guy in season three. She did do some crappy things to him in seasons one and two but I don't plan on going into that. They dated for a year so in my mind anything before that has been forgiven. There's also so much more to be discussed that I'm not going back that far. I may touch of some of what happened but nothing in-depth. _**

**_I must say, even though I'm the one writing this, I find Blair's calm behavior slightly creepy. But then again I'm drawing on how I am when I get pushed over my edge – if I scream and yell and cry, you know you're okay because I'm emotional; when I feel really taken advantage of and just plain sad, I get very quiet and remain calm because I know the second my emotions break, I'm done for and the tears won't stop. That being said, Blair's calm can only last so long before there are little pieces of her all over the walls. _**

**_Blair's birthday party will at the end of the next chapter and Chuck's invited, Serena as well. I figured it's about time we bring the blonde back into the storyline. We will also see Chuck getting more and more frustrated with the wall Blair still has up between them. Also, she is secretly falling apart and desperate to keep up her perfect façade. But, as we all know, that can only last so long until someone finds out, and that someone will be Chuck. _**

**_I've also updated the poll on my profile page and would love if you voted as I'm trying to figure out what my next rotation of stories will be. But don't worry, I'm nowhere near done with my current stories, it will be a while before the new ones are posted. Thanks in advance!_**

**_Remember, more reviews = more love = faster update =) And I love detailed reviews, the longer the better. _**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Author's Note: Thank you all so much for your continued support and feedback for this story. Chair's relationship was taken on such a ride in season four that it makes me happy to know I'm not the only one who thinks rehab and therapy are the best routes for Blair and Chuck to rebuild their fractured relationship.

Work has been crazy busy so this chapter took longer than I intended, my apologies. But I want to say that while it's sometimes weeks between updates, I will always continue a story through to completion. Thank you for being so patient with me =)

I have the next few chapters sketched out and they really pick up after this one. Think of this chapter as the eye of the storm, the calm before the explosion.

A note on that, while I know that both Blair and Chuck have made their share of mistakes when it's come to their relationship, I really feel that what Blair did can never amount to what Chuck has done. That being said, this isn't going to be about Blair bashing him and going on tirades about what he's done. As hurt and angry as she is, all she wants is to understand why he did what he did and move on with him. I'm really maturing the characters because I hate how petty and childish they are on the show.

I've also decided to start having the section breaks as dates. I changed each chapter to have timestamps because for this story I feel it's good to keep track of how the time is passing.

And, _Of Course_ has been updated and the next chapter of _The Way We Were_ should be up within the next few days or so.

Krism – Thank you! I'm glad we're on the same page about the reasons with Raina. And I get what you're saying about Chuck being afraid to be alone. However, he shouldn't have brought Eva back to Manhattan, in my opinion, because it was the ultimate slap in the face to Blair. Yes, she gave back the ring and said she didn't love him, but she also said that it wouldn't be her world without him in it. That alone should have prompted him to fight for her. But alas, the writers go for drama and heartache. Me, I like fluff. The next chapter will go into his reasons for why he did what he did and Blair will talk about why she acted the way she did. Let me know what you think of this chapter and I look forward to your thoughts on the next chapter.

Krazy4Spike – Thanks! Looking forward to what you think of this chapter.

TriGemini – Thank you so much! Chuck continues to struggle with Blair's distance while she struggles to maintain it. They talk much more in this chapter and they both start to crack in the next chapter. And they do need to see each other outside of therapy and they do in this chapter. As always, looking forward to your next review.

88Mary88 – Thanks so much! I'm so happy that you like Blair's wall! I do plan on having her keep it up for the foreseeable future because I think as soon as she lets it down all hell will break loose. That and I want Chuck to suffocate in guilt. Blair continues to stand her ground and mature while dealing with her feeling for Chuck in this chapter. The next chapter will have them go in depth with Eva, Raina, Dan, and Louis. Her wall will remain up but expect some explosions. I love your super long reviews and can't wait to read the next one.

LeftWriter224 – Thank you! I totally agree with you on how Blair lost herself in her relationship with Chuck. And her poise is her way of sheltering herself from more pain. Chuck fights back against her conditions and I look forward to what you think of them in this chapter.

Wrighthangal – Thanks! Chair's healing process must be slow, I think the reason it didn't work on the show was because it was too rushed. But alas, that's drama, my story takes a different route. And I agree, if these sessions don't kill them, they will be stronger than ever. Can't wait to read your comments on this chapter.

Frenchies – Thank you so much! That finale gutted me, season five better make up for with Chair as endgame. I'm guessing you figured out which scene from Casino Royale inspired me, any thoughts on how to go about it? And thanks for the mini French lesson =) I've corrected that phrase in chapter four and now know for future reference. I know some Spanish and Italian, not French, yet! Looking forward to reading your next review.

Ellibells – Thank you! That scene you want is in the process of being written and will be delivered in the next chapter. Can't wait to read what you think of Chair's progress in this chapter.

A fan – Thanks! Chair definitely needs to attack their issues head on in order to have a stable future. Chuck doesn't bite his tongue as much in this chapter and even less in the next chapter. Blair continues to internalize and we see how that takes its toll on her in the next chapter. Can't wait to read your thoughts on this chapter and their progress.

Pty – Thank you! I'm so happy you found their therapy sessions so realistic, I'm grinning gleefully. Thanks for the spoilers, I'm on pins and needles waiting for this new season to start. I've seen photos of Ed and Leighton filming and they seem lovey-dovey, their arms are around each other and they are smiling. I just hope Louis gets out of the picture soon and Chuck finally tells Blair he's there for good. Enough ranting, what are your thoughts? Looking forward to what you think of this chapter.

Maribells – Thank you so much! Chair's trust issues get discussed in-depth next chapter and no one will be walking on eggshells when that happens. They continue to work through their issues as both Chuck and Blair try to approach the reconciliation in their own way, which means at odds with each other, of course. Can't wait to read your next review.

Trosev – Thanks so much! I'm so happy you find this story realistic and can imagine you're in the therapy room with them. Looking forward to what you think of this chapter.

_Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl, or Ed Westwick – sigh. _

**October 31, 2011**

"We're going to try something new this week," the therapist told them. "Today we are discussing how you fell in love, and why you still love each other."

"But we still have a lot more to discuss," Blair said, uneasy with where this session could go. "Why are you veering off course?"

"I've let you two dictate where our sessions have gone, but not today," the therapist said. "We're taking a step back from the hurt and the pain to discuss why you are both here. You two love each other, and today we are exploring why and how that is a feeling that won't go away."

"Okay," Blair said quietly, secretly grateful to not be talking about where they went wrong, if only for this one session. "Do you want to start or should I?" she asked as she looked at Chuck.

"I'll start," Chuck told her before looking at the therapist. "What's your question?"

"Tell me about how your feelings for Blair grew," he said.

"She was my friend," Chuck stated. "And I respected her."

"Why?" the therapist asked.

"Blair keeps me on my toes. I always viewed her as my equal," Chuck said as Blair scoffed at the comparison. "Only with loftier ideals."

"Thank you for that clarification," she said.

"Did you view many women as your equal?" the therapist inquired.

"None, they were playthings, never anything worth a second look," Chuck continued. "But I saw Blair as my friend above everything else. But she was with Nate, and as depraved as I was, I wasn't going to sleep with my best friend's girlfriend."

"What changed?" he asked.

"I broke up with Nate and went right to Chuck," Blair cut in. "We were going to meet up and I knew he'd make me forget what happened."

"How did he do that, Blair?" the therapist asked.

"We celebrated the opening of his burlesque club," she said. "We talked, he dared me to dance, and I did. It was the most free I felt in my whole life."

"Victrola hasn't seen a proper dance since you graced her stage," Chuck smirked as he remembered their first time together.

"What happened next?" the doctor pressed, knowing what happened but wanting to hear Blair's account of it.

"I gave Chuck my virginity in the back of his limo," Blair stated as she pursed her lips, commanding herself not to blush.

"Very interesting," the therapist said as he wrote that down. "Not many people describe it that way."

"What way?" Blair asked, not understanding what he meant.

"You said you gave Chuck your virginity, you didn't say he took it," the therapist spelled out. "Most people describe it in the latter terms."

"But he didn't take it," she asserted. "I wanted him, he was the one who asked if I wanted to stop along the way. I told him not to stop."

"What do you remember most from that experience?" the therapist asked her.

"How gentle he was," she said quietly. "I never thought he would be, but he was so patient and kind. That night I saw the Chuck Bass I fell in love with."

The doctor jotted down what she was saying before asking, "Chuck, do you remember when you realized you were in love with Blair?"

"When I saw her go off with Nate after cotillion," he revealed as Blair bit her lip and looked down at the memory. "That was the moment I knew, seeing her with someone else was too much to bear."

"But you had been with so many women before we were together," she said.

"None that I cared about," he told her, "None."

"We were stupid kids," she said simply. "I would do something, you would do something. It was a constant cycle of hurt and love."

"Let's explore that cycle," the therapist said as he leaned forward.

"How can you still love me?" Chuck asked, not hearing what the doctor just said. "After everything that's happened, why?"

"It's not something I can explain," she told him. "It's something I can feel. And yes, a lot has happened, some of it bad, some of it very bad. But a lot of it was great, and I miss that."

"Don't you always see the bad that's happened?" he asked. "Why hasn't that stopped you?" Chuck didn't know why he kept pushing this issue but he still wasn't able to wrap his head around Blair wanting to work things out with him yet keeping herself at such a distance from him.

"Because, you showed me how good you could be," Blair said with a calmness that continued to unnerve him. "That's the man I want, he's why I come back here every week despite how difficult this is."

"Then lift your damn conditions," Chuck exclaimed as Blair's eyes widened and she just stared at him. "They're driving me crazy and I know you want me as much as I want you. You all but admitted it there."

"Chuck," the therapist cut in, "Lower your voice for starters and calmly tell Blair why you feel this way."

Chuck took a deep breath as Blair stared at him like he was crazy. He turned to face her and said, "I need you to see how I've changed. And just an hour at our sessions doesn't allow for that. We're at each other's throats for most of the time and as soon as our time is up, you're out the door. What are you afraid I'll do?"

"I'm not afraid of you, I never have been," she said. "I'm just not ready to be alone with you yet."

"Do you really think I can't control myself?" Chuck asked exasperatedly. "I'm not an animal."

Blair's eyes narrowed at him as she let out an aggravated sigh, "I was going to invite you to my birthday party, you impatient bastard. You would have gotten your invitation by the end of the week, so much for surprising you."

"And yes, you'll still be getting it," Blair said as her phone went off. She shut off the alarm before putting it back in her purse. "Do you have anything to say to that?" she asked him as her eyebrows went up.

"What time should I be there?" he asked her as a small smirk formed on her lips.

"You can find out when you read the invitation," she told him, a glint in her eyes that he hadn't seen in a while as his smirk deepened.

"This is a good way to end for today," the therapist said with a smile. "I'm glad we took this detour."

"I have something to add first," Blair said. "Is there a way for us to talk about where we went wrong without one of us feeling the need to apologize?"

The doctor was about to talk when she continued, "I know that I'm sorry for what's happened, and I know Chuck is sorry. We need to hash it out without apologizing."

"Then do that," the therapist stated. "It's very simple, stop apologizing. Is that all?"

"No," she said as she looked at Chuck, "Can you agree to just explaining and no more apologizing? I think that will help us move on."

"And I think seeing more of you will help us move on, yet you think otherwise," he retorted.

"You'll be at my birthday party," she told him. "That's a start. We'll see where we go from there."

"And there won't be a repeat of last year," Blair said as he started to smirk again. "Get me a real birthday present this time."

"Alright," he told her, "I will, but it won't be nearly as fun."

**November 3, 2011**

"That's rude, you know," Nate said as Chuck's eyes never left his BlackBerry in the twenty minutes since he arrived at his friend's apartment.

"What?" Chuck said as he looked up before putting it down. "Sorry, I'm tracking a deal for work. What were you saying?"

"I was trying to find out how you were doing at work," Nate told him, "But I can see you're preoccupied."

"Don't get pissy with me," Chuck said. "My focus is a bit off, cut me a break."

"So work is good?" Nate asked. "Things are going well?"

"Yes," Chuck told him. "This deal with the Dubai hotel has me on edge. This has to be flawless, I'm sick and tired of working for someone else. It's tough enough with the Board."

"Why is so much riding on this particular deal?" Nate asked.

"Because, I invested my own money in it," Chuck said as he looked at his phone again. "If this goes according to plan, I can cut two years off my timeline to buy back controlling interest in Bass Industries."

"You really want it back," Nate stated as he sat back in his chair. "How long until you know if it paid off?"

"Six months, at least," Chuck told him. "Construction has started but there's more red tape than I anticipated. I'm waiting to hear back from my lawyers."

"What are you doing in the meantime?" Nate asked.

"Working on three other projects," Chuck said. "Anything to keep my mind busy."

"How are things with you and Blair?" Nate wanted to know.

"Stagnant," Chuck said as he put his phone on the table and leaned back, briefly closing his eyes.

"This will take time," Nate said, "But I don't see either of you giving up."

"Well, we only see each other in therapy," Chuck told him. "At this rate, I don't know when we'll make progress."

"Blair invited you to her birthday, that's got to be big," Nate said with a small smile.

"Maybe," Chuck said, "Let's see what's happens Monday."

**November 4, 2011**

Chuck was still at the office late that Friday night. His phone buzzed and he saw it was a text from Blair. _Can we talk?_

Without texting her back, he picked up his phone and called her number. Something must be wrong if she contacted him outside of their sessions.

"Chuck, how are you?" she asked when she picked up her phone.

"Fine, are you okay?" he asked, surprised that she contacted him.

"Yes, I just want to let you know that I won't be able to make our next session," she told him.

"Why?" he demanded.

"Please, let me explain," she said tiredly. "It's for my internship, the senior partner I've been working with told me I could accompany him to court this Monday. Granted, I'll be sitting in the gallery but it's something I can't turn down. Please understand."

"Can we reschedule our session?" he asked.

"No, I'm not free any other time during the week," she told him. "But you're still coming to my party, right?"

"I'll be there," he said, racking his brain for an excuse to see her. "Meet me for lunch instead this week."

"I don't know," she said.

"We'll be in a public place and it's lunch, you do have to eat," he said. "You can choose the time and place. Besides, I'm holding you to our one hour a week, just in a different setting."

"Alright," she told him, not wanting to fight and not wanting to recant on her own condition. "I'll text you at the beginning of the week. How are you? Did I catch you at a bad time? Are you out somewhere?"

"I'm still at the office," he told her. "But I'd love to talk if you're free."

"That would be nice," she said slowly. "We don't really do that at our sessions. How's work?"

"It keeps me busy," he said as he leaned back in his chair. "I have a few projects I'm working on at the moment. What about you, juggling school and an internship?

"As well as studying for the LSATs," she added.

"What made you choose law?" he asked. "I never remember you wanting that."

"I didn't before," she told him. "But my time at _W_ wasn't what I wanted. I like the precision and the details law provides."

"So you're majoring in pre-law?" he asked.

"No, I declared economics as my major," she said. "I'm doing the pre-law track but economics is where I'm taking most of my courses."

"You always were ambitious," he said.

"Well, now my priorities are more in order," Blair said. "Work first, play later."

"But you make time for us," he stated.

"Yeah, I do," she said matter-of-factly. "I do that because I don't want to be miserable."

"What do you mean by that?" Chuck asked.

"I mean that having a successful career means nothing if I don't have you to share it with," she told him.

Again, he was speechless. Blair held herself at such a distance from him but wasn't shy about how much she loved him. He was about to say something, anything, when she spoke first.

"It was good talking to you, Chuck," she said with a smile on her face, not that he could see it. "I have to go, I'll see you next week for lunch."

"Sweet dreams, Waldorf," he said as he felt the butterflies stirring in his stomach.

"Same to you, Bass," she replied as she hung up.

'No,' she told herself as she stood up from her desk and looked herself in the mirror. 'Things may seem good now but it's only going to get worse. You haven't even discussed Louis, and there's still more to say about Raina.'

Blair cringed when she thought about Raina, there was so much she wanted to know yet she didn't want to at the same time. And then there was Louis, she knew Chuck would want all the details and she felt horrible at how she treated the prince. He truly loved her and as much as she tried to convince herself that she felt the same, she didn't.

They had a long way to go before romance was on the cards for them, the journey in front of them would be arduous. She desperately hoped they would make it.

**November 9, 2011**

Blair was seated at the corner table when Chuck made his way over to her. They placed their orders and their food arrived when he brought up something from their sessions.

"I'd rather not talk about any of that," she told him. "Tell me how you are, what's new with you?"

"I went to our regular session on Monday," he said.

"Oh," she said with surprise. "How did that go? What did you talk about?"

"How your conditions are driving me up a wall," he said dryly.

"Can you drop that?" she asked as her exhaustion shone in her eyes. "We're at lunch just the two of us. Let's enjoy not ripping each other's throats out."

"You don't have to be so strong all the time," Chuck told her as he saw how hard she was acting to maintain her composure.

"But I do," she said with a smile. "Weakness has no place in our lives, you know that."

"I also know it will destroy you if you let it," he said.

"Not this time. I've been there, done that," she smirked. "Quite a few times actually."

"What makes you so sure this time will be different?" he asked, worried about the stress she was putting herself under.

"This time, we're both fighting," she said. "We know what we're getting ourselves into but it's what we both want, so it'll all work out eventually."

"Why do you keep doubting me, Chuck?" she asked as she tilted her head. "Is it so hard for you to believe that I want to be with you again?"

"You're still angry with me," he said quietly, still unsettled with her behavior towards him. "But you don't show it."

"It's better this way, more controlled," she told him.

"But it won't be long until it's not," Chuck said, remembering the last time she was like this and distressed thinking about how he was going to pick up the pieces.

"Don't worry," she assured him, "You won't be there if I do."

"But I want to be there," he told her. "I want you to be able to count on me when things fall apart. Nothing will make me run this time. You can keep pushing me away, I'm not going anywhere."

Blair didn't know what to say to that so she bit her lip as they finished their lunch in silence. She felt his eyes on her and when she looked up, his gaze never wavered.

"I know it's going to get worse before it gets better," she said. "But as much as I hate you sometimes, I want my future with you."

"You're confusing me tremendously. You know that, right?" Chuck told her as he shook his head slightly. "If you feel like this, why do you keep pushing me away?"

Blair pursed her lips as she looked down at her salad. When she looked back up, she was slightly flushed and said, "I need to know that you'll keep pushing back. But I don't want you to see this as a game to me. Our games have ended, this is my way of seeing that you really want me back."

"I won't stop, Blair," he said as they locked eyes and his hand was millimeters from hers, the both of them feeling the electricity between them. "You may have been right on the whole no touching thing."

"See, I'm not just being a bitch," she laughed, the first real laugh she had with him in more time than she could remember. "It'll start something we won't be able to stop."

"Would you want it to stop?" he asked as a small smirk formed on his lips.

"I don't want us to be together again until we have everything resolved," she told him with seriousness. "We deserve that this time."

"I'll cede to that point," he said.

"This won't change our next session," she said. "It will be just as difficult as it has been, maybe more so now."

"I'll be there," he told her.

"So will I," she said.

**XOXO**

_C and B were spotted lunching together in Midtown. When will our Queen learn that her dark prince will never change? Or has he? No one's spotted him around town living it up like he used to. Maybe rehab has reformed him. As for what I think, Chuck Bass will always be trouble. Let's just hope B has her guard up this time and doesn't get humiliated again. I'll keep you updated. You know you love me, XOXO, Gossip Girl. _

**November 12, 2011**

"Not enough, dear," Cyrus squealed as he held her tighter. "It's been far too long since I've seen you."

"I've missed you, too, Cyrus," Blair said as she kissed her stepfather's cheek.

"How are you?" he asked as he led them to sit in the kitchen. Guests had started to arrive and her parents were out with them as Cyrus wanted a moment to talk with his stepdaughter.

"I'm good," she said. "My classes are interesting and I'm learning a lot at my internship."

"How are you, not your classes or your internship, you?" he reiterated for emphasis.

"Fine," she told him, knowing what he was hinting at. "We're moving slowly."

"Darling," Eleanor said to her husband as she cut their conversation short, "Don't keep Blair from her guests. You can talk with her in the morning."

"Yes, dear," he said with a twinkle in his eye as he and Blair stood up. "We were just on our way out."

Blair wasn't out of the kitchen two seconds when Roman pulled her to him.

"Tell me, ma cherie," Roman said as he put his arm over Blair's shoulders, "How is the therapy with Charles going?"

"It's going," she said as she made eye contact with Chuck across the room.

"Any progress?" he inquired.

"Some," Blair told him, "But it's slow going."

"That's good," he said with a smile, "Things like this take time. Don't let anyone rush you."

"Thank you," she said. "You're one of the only people who feels like that."

"Well, it's the truth," Roman told her.

Blair continued talking with her stepfather as her father joined them and they started discussing their Thanksgiving plans.

"Hey," Dan said casually as he stood next to Chuck, "What's up?"

Chuck turned his head to look at him and said, "What do you want, Humphrey?"

"How are you?" Dan asked.

"We both know you could less about how I am," Chuck said. "Spit out what you want."

"Do you really want to make things work with Blair this time?" Dan inquired.

"Who the hell do you think you are asking me that?" Chuck asked as he wrenched out of Dan's grip.

"Her friend, and someone who cares for her," Dan told him as he locked eyes with Chuck. "And that's something we both have in common. Don't make her relive everything if you aren't certain you won't fuck it up this time."

"I don't know what your angle is, but our relationship is none of your business," Chuck spat.

"What relationship?" Dan said smugly.

"If punching wouldn't set me back with Blair, you'd be the floor right now," Chuck said in a dangerously low tone as his eyes narrowed.

"You passed," Dan smiled as Chuck grew more and more infuriated with the Brooklynite. "I think you're in it for good this time. Good for you."

Chuck took a deep breath before walking away from Dan. As much as he hated him, he was friend's with Blair and Chuck didn't want her party ruined for the second year in a row.

"A word, Charles," Eleanor said as she motioned for him to follow her when she saw him walking her way.

"Good evening, Mrs. Rose," Chuck said affably, unsure how the Waldorf matriarch was going to act. "How are you? How's life in Paris?"

"You can drop the pleasantries, Chuck," she started. "My daughter may have found it in her heart to give you another chance, but I haven't. If you hurt her yet again, I am the one you need to worry about, understood?"

"Enjoy the party now," she told him warmly as she spotted someone else she wanted to talk with, leaving Chuck to gulp as she patted his shoulder. Even when he and Blair were dating, he always felt uneasy when around her mother.

"Happy birthday, B," Serena said sheepishly as she finally approached her old friend. "You look great."

"Thank you," Blair said. "I'm glad you were able to come."

"Of course," Serena smiled, "I've never missed a Waldorf birthday. Thanks for inviting me."

"You're my best friend, Serena," Blair told her. "And I told you I just needed time."

"Are we good now?" the blonde asked optimistically.

"No, but I won't avoid you anymore," Blair told her with a smirk.

She left things tenuous with Serena as she left her to mingle with the other guests. Hours later when everyone filtered out and her parents were upstairs, Blair spotted Chuck sitting on the chaise. She made her way over to him as he stood with a bag in his hands.

"Did you see the blast from Gossip Girl?" Chuck asked her. He wanted to talk with her about it but wanted to have that conversation in person.

"I did," she said, "But it changes nothing."

He decided to drop it and handed her the beautifully prepared gift bag. "Happy birthday, Blair," he said as she took it from him, narrowly missing grazing his hand.

She went to open her presents when he stopped her. "Wait until I leave," Chuck requested as he put his hand on hers, the both of them frozen as it was their first touch in months and the heat between them was palpable. "And read the card first."

"Okay," she said quietly as she held the bag in front of her. "Thank you for stopping by."

"Happy birthday," he said with a nod before turning to walk to the elevator. She watched him step in and smiled as he waved at her before the doors closed.

Once she heard the elevator making its way to the ground floor, she hurried up the stairs to get ready for bed before opening her present from him. Blair sat on her bed with the bag from Chuck in front of her, slowly pulling out the card and starting to read it.

_Blair, _

_I know you're probably itching to open your presents so let's start with the top box. _

She reached for it and quickly opened it, a small gasp escaping her lips when she saw a pair of ruby heart earrings to match her ring.

_A Waldorf birthday wouldn't be complete without jewelry. You love that ring and deserve to have earrings to match. _

Blair stared at them before going back to reading the card.

_Now for the second box. As you know, I've moved into an apartment at the Palace. This is the key to the elevator. You're always welcome. _

That wasn't what she was expecting when she saw the small blue box from Tiffany's. But inside was the key to his new apartment on an intricate silver key fob from her favorite jeweler. She played with the key in her fingers before placing it in her purse.

After securing it in the small inner pocket, she went back to reading the card as she pulled out the next gift.

_You're probably wondering when I became such a wordsmith. What you're holding in your hands in the journal I started writing in this summer. Read it, burn it, it's yours to do whatever you want with. I did my best to get down everything that went through my mind at all the points that destroyed us. You may have held the gun at points, so to speak, but I was the one who always pulled the trigger. None of this excuses what happened and my reasons were all wrong, but I don't want to keep anything from you anymore. _

She smirked as she read the next part.

_I realize what blackmail I'm handing over to you with my words, but I trust you, like I always should have. _

Blair felt tears forming in her eyes as she flipped through the journal. Staring back at her was Chuck's perfect penmanship, pouring out his heart to her. Before she could get caught up in reading it, she remembered the last box.

_The box at the bottom, if I know you as well as I think I do, will make you smile. Think of me as you enjoy them. _

And she did smile, it was a box of her favorite macaroons from Paris.

_Thank you again for everything. Our therapy sessions must be hard on you so I appreciate you coming back each week. I'm looking forward to the day we get back what we had. _

_Happy birthday, beautiful. May 21 be your best year yet. _

_Always yours, _

_C_

Blair was smiling as she reached for her phone to text him. _You do know me well_, she typed, _And thank you. Your presents were prefect. _

_Only the best for you_, he texted back, _Happy Birthday, B_.

**_Please review if you'd like me to continue. And if I haven't heard from you yet, leave a review. Lots of you have favorited or alerted this story but have yet to leave a comment. I'd love to hear your thoughts and it's very easy to do, not to mention it would really make me smile =D_**

**_The next chapter really picks up and Chuck lets loose while we start to see Blair begin to fall to pieces. Remember, it has to get worse before it can get better. _**

**_As I'm writing, I find myself wanting to move forward more quickly that I have been. In doing that, I'll need to gloss over some issues while tackling other issues more in depth. What issues between them do you see as the most important for them to talk about? I really don't want to revisit what's already been discussed but it may come up in passing, it just won't be rehashed. _**

**_I know some of you have commented how Blair has done stuff to Chuck just like what he did to her. I want to say now that, in my opinion, nothing Blair did can ever equate to what he did. Yes, she tricked him into kissing a guy and went behind his back to Jack to try and acquire a liquor license for the club at the Empire. But really, can you put that on the same level as him trying to trick her into having sex with Jack to get the Empire back? I don't think you can. _**

**_Also, while Chuck was the perfect boyfriend for most of season three, his main issue has always been doubting himself and Blair. Yes, she told him she didn't love him anymore but if he would always move on too quickly in my opinion. If you truly love someone with all your heart, there is no replacement for them and it is pure weakness being with someone else. _**

**_The next chapter will explore these issues and now you see what my point of view is on them and how I will go about writing them. I really want to get them caught up to their present and tenuous relationship because they still have so much work to do after the past is discussed. It will probably be two ore three more chapters before they get caught up to where they are now and that is when the hard part begins – they have to decided where they are going to go from there. _**

**_And, if you think you've figured out where I'm going with this story, think again ;) I enjoy keeping you guessing and have twists planned for this story to throw Blair and Chuck, and you all, for a loop!_**

**_I have a poll on my profile page asking what story you'd like to read next. My current stories are nowhere near done yet but I want to know which ones to get ready. Please take a moment and vote on your favorite, thanks!_**

**_Remember, more reviews = more love = faster update =) And I love detailed reviews, the longer the better. _**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Author's Note: Thank you so much for the continued support of this story! Reviews, favorites, and alerts make me smile =D

I'm so happy that you like where this story is going. The buildup was slow, I'll admit that, but we're coming to the climax soon. I can't wait to read your thoughts on this chapter as we're moving closer and closer to it.

I saw the promo for season five and while excited at the one with Blair, Chuck, and Dan, it looks like in the longer one Chuck has gone back to his womanizing ways. He does look very hot in the leather jacket though. And his hair, when he was running his fingers through it, I'll stop. You can use your imagination for where my mind is going with that ;) Anyway, I will watch this new season hoping for no royal wedding and some hot Chair loving hoping these new writers are better than the season four ones.

_Of Course_ and _The Way We Were_ have been updated and I posted my new story, _Could It Be_. It's my twist on Blair being pregnant post 4x22. I hope you check it out and let me know what you think of it with a review. Chapter 2 of that story should be up by the end of the weekend.

Transformersfan214 – Thank you! Looking forward to what you think of this chapter.

Bloomerica – Thanks! I like to think of myself as practical, and I so wish Blair and Chuck acted more so on the show. I know they never will so I retreat to fanfiction and tune into the show to stare at Ed Westwick's perfect bone structure and hope Chair will be endgame. And fluff and romance are always good ;) Can't wait to read your next review.

Iwishiwasabass – Thanks so much! I'll admit, it was a slow buildup because I didn't want to rush things like the show does. That being said, as soon as they were in the same room again things were bound to pick up. So happy you loved the last chapter! I included a snippet of Chuck's journal in this chapter and will include more in the next chapter. What event in particular would you like to read about from his point of view? Let me know and I'll do my best to include it for you. Looking forward to your suggestions and your next review.

JadeWilliams – Thank you so much! Love that you like how they're taking it slow. They really do have a lot to hash out and as painful as it is to go through in the moment, they will be better for it in the long run. Can't wait to read your comments on this chapter.

LeftWriter224 – Thanks so much! The Raina/Louis talk is in this chapter but will probably carry over into the next chapter. Chair also has to discuss their various issues (trust, commitment, forgiveness) and the therapist will have fun with them in regards to those sessions. And the blow-up is imminent so brace yourself for it. Can't wait to read your next review.

Pty – Thank you so much! Things are starting to mend for our favorite couple in this story. Blair's honesty continues and I included some Chuck/Serena as well as Blair/Dan bonding in this chapter. We'll see more of Eleanor as well as Harold and the stepfathers, torturing Chuck with the "in-laws" is always fun =p Can't wait for your next review and more spoilers. Less than a week now =|

Ellibells – Thanks! Happy you picked up on the slight touch, which was huge for them considering they had gone so long without any physical contact. I do love Dan, but just as a friend for Blair and as someone to keep Chuck alert. Blair's breakdown is coming so be on the lookout for it. Can't wait to read your next review.

Butterflydoll56 – Thank you! Soon, they'll be together soon. Looking forward to what you thought of this chapter.

Frenchies – Thanks! Glad you liked Chuck's presents, and you see some of the journal in this chapter and more in the next. Talking about Louis and Raina will be hard and will take time. I also definitely plan of tackling their insecurities in future therapy sessions. Can't wait to read your review of this chapter.

Wrighthangal – Thank you! I totally followed everything you said and I completely agree. Chuck needs to give Blair her space while letting her know he's not going anywhere. The trust needs to be rebuilt between these two and it will be a struggle. I love the feedback and can't wait for more in regards to this chapter.

Maribells – Thank you so much! There will definitely be more therapy sessions addressed at specific issues Chair has, and why they love each other is one of them. They do have a lot of catching up to do with their clothes on (they'll be coming off at some point so let me know if you have any suggestions for when/how that should go down). Blair doesn't get a free pass and Chuck calls her out on that in this chapter so I can't wait to read what you think of that. I also don't want to make her a victim, while the back-stabbing needs to go away, bitchy Blair is always welcome. I'm really looking forward to your review of this chapter and any suggestions you have for future chapters.

TriGemini – Thank you so much! Season five worries me, I'm in agreement that I don't want to see that circus with Chuck-Blair-random whore triangle again. Fingers crossed for happy and smutty Chair! Blair is pushing herself too much and Chuck isn't the only one to notice it. Trust is probably their biggest hurdle to jump at this point and it needs to be present before they can start healing. As always, really looking forward to your next review.

A fan – Thanks so much! I'm so glad you find Chair's progression in this story realistic. The show will never do that but that's another rant I'll spare you ;) I agree, if this weren't a fictional romance I'd tell Blair to kick Chuck to the curb and run to the safety of Louis. But, this is fiction and Chair is epic. Chuck really needs to prove to Blair that he will fight this time and won't be deterred by any roadblocks that pop up. His financial standing is also tenuous and we'll see that play out in the next few chapters. Blair doesn't know how to pace and my reasoning behind that is that, for her, as long as she has too much on her plate, she won't be able to focus on her fractured relationship with Chuck. But she does anyway, of course. Can't wait for your next review and I love hearing others go on and on about Chair like I do, LOL!

Mikki Larentis – Thank you! You're too sweet, I do my best to write them as realistically as I can while bringing them OOC and into the future. Can't wait to read your next review.

Trosev – Thanks! The journal will play a big role in their reconciliation so keep an eye out for excerpts. Looking forward to your thoughts on this chapter.

Classicsaretimeless – Thanks so much! Being a frustrated Chair fan is what prompted me to write these therapy sessions so I'm glad you're finding them enjoyable to read. I always thought Chuck was a true romantic at heart but just scared of being that emotionally exposed so I love when he shows that side to Blair. And I did spend quite some time figuring out what Chuck would give Blair. Let me know what your thoughts are on the Eva/Raina/Dan/Louis talk because it will continue into the next chapter and I love reading feedback. Can't wait to read your review of this chapter.

Chairfanforever – Thank you so much! Your sentiments are spot on and discussed in this chapter. Can't wait to read your reactions to how they are in this chapter.

GGfan73104 – Thanks! They did take a very big step in moving forward and it will be a struggle for them not to fall back as they continue to talk about the others in their lives. Looking forward to your thoughts on this chapter.

_Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl, or Ed Westwick – sigh. _

**November 14, 2011**

"I will never regret driving that French tart away," Blair told with more emotion in her voice than he'd heard from her since their sessions began. "As much as Little J and Raina hurt, Eva was different to you."

"Blair, I already told you what a mistake she was," Chuck sighed. "I don't know what else to say."

"You gave her five million dollars in for a charity at her discretion," she exclaimed. "And on top of that you told all of Manhattan how she made you this new and wonderful person. Doing that you put her at the same level we were at, maybe even higher."

"So you're upset that I went public with her?" he asked, trying to figure out why she was so emotional. "Everyone knows how I feel for you, do you want it announced in some grand way? You know I'd do anything for you. Just say the word and it's done."

"I don't want you to do something with me that you did with one of your whores," she told him venomously. "The gesture would feel cheap and it would mean nothing."

She went to say something else but closed her mouth soon after, not saying a word. That's when the therapist interjected and said, "What would make you feel better? The past is the past, we've discussed that, but Chuck is trying now and there needs to be some give and take from both of you."

"No, all I've done is give during my relationship with Chuck," Blair stated as she stared at the doctor while she felt Chuck's eyes on her. "Even now, I didn't want to see him outside of therapy until I was ready. But, I gave in on that. There is a lot that I will give in on but I need to stand firm on some things."

"Harping on a past that can't be changed is a waste of time, Blair," Chuck said. "You need to move on from it."

"That's easy for you to say," she snapped. "You have very little to harp on, as you put it, with my past. And what bothers me with Eva is that while she may have fell in love with you, she didn't know who you were, She never saw how dark and tormented you really are. You hid that from her and she never got to know the real you."

"But I didn't love her," Chuck exclaimed with frustration. "What does it matter to you how she felt about me?"

"It matters because I knew all that and I loved you anyway," she told him. "It's why I fell in love with you."

"I'm sorry," he said. "I know you don't want me to apologize but I don't know what else to do. She was a mistake and I've admitted that. What more do you want? Do want me to get on my knees and grovel?"

"Chuck," Blair said as she could feel her voice cracking, "I'm not looking for you to grovel. I just want to understand why. Why did you feel such a connection to her but not to me?"

"You told me you didn't love me anymore," he said. "Eva wanted me, can you blame me for not wanting to be alone?"

"Yes, I can," she told him as she fought back her tears from forming. "I wanted you to fight for me, and you never did."

"I'm fighting now," he said.

"That doesn't mean I won't feel angry," she said. "And I'm not so much angry as incredibly sad."

"But we can move past that for now," Blair declared as she wiped at her eyes, getting rid of the few tears that escaped before they could run down her face and be more noticeable.

"Good, let's talk about Humpty Dumpty and the prince now," Chuck said with a heated look in his eyes.

"No," she said, "We'll talk about Raina first. You were with her before I was with Louis. And Dan is nothing more than a friend so I'm not discussing him further."

"That's not fair," Chuck told her. "You and Humphrey got close, don't try to deny it."

"I won't, but it's not the same. Dan and I became friends, platonic friends. We shared a brief kiss but felt nothing. You, on the other hand, It was so easy for you to open up to Raina and Eva. And they were never your friends, they were lovers," Blair stated. "Neither of them ever saw the real you, the tortured and twisted you. I did and still loved you. It's why I love you, because I could see the good in you despite all that. You're the only one who couldn't see that."

"What about you?" he asked. "You're not exactly light and airy."

"No, I'm not," she said, closing her eyes and wringing her hands in her lap. "But that's why we fit so well."

"You're infuriating," he cried out. "Why do you insist on keeping this wall between us? I'm finally fighting for you, let me in."

"And I fought for you, hard, for so long. Your idea of fighting for me has always giving up because you don't think you're good enough," she told him. "Forgive me if I'm hesitant to fully trust you again."

"But I'm not going anywhere," he told her. "I'll keep fighting for you this time."

"That's good to know," she said. "But you always moved on so fast. Why do you think I keep telling you I love you and still want you? It's because I'm terrified if I don't give you that reassurance you'll find someone else. You have this terrible fear of being alone but for now I need to be Blair Waldorf, not Chuck Bass' girlfriend."

"Blair," the therapist said before Chuck could add more fuel to the fire, "It would help Chuck to understand where you're coming from if you explained your feelings in more detail."

She sighed before turning to face Chuck, "I want you, I always have. That doesn't mean I'm not exhausted. But I'm still here, and I'm fighting for what I had with you. And there's no denying we're both damaged. But I'm trying to change so there can be no more games. As it is, we're in the most dangerous round of Russian roulette there is."

"It's a good thing neither of us are feeling trigger happy," he smirked as she smiled slightly at the reference to his letter from the summer.

"Let's end here for today," the therapist said as he put his notes on the table.

"Before someone gets shot," Blair said sarcastically as she glanced sideways at Chuck.

"Before the progress we made hits another setback," he told them. "We'll end here and pick up next week."

**XOXO**

Blair was under the covers reading from Chuck's journal again. Ever since he gave it to her on Saturday, she couldn't put it down. She read everything he wrote but found herself rereading his first entry. The raw emotion and vulnerability he allowed to be put into writing made her see him in a new light.

From the time he told her they were inevitable in high school, she knew he was the one she'd build her life with. Despite all their detours and numerous crashes, here they were, finally fighting equally for what they had and desperately wanted back.

_Rehab was the last place I ever thought I'd go willingly. But after the year I had, nothing else seemed like an option for me anymore. I'm sitting here in this awful room thinking back to the last time I spoke with Blair. I was drunk beyond belief but I can still see the smile on her face when she told me she wasn't engaged. Even with everything I've done, she still wants me. How? I don't know, but I'm not going to question it. _

She found it hard to read his accounts of Jenny, Eva, Raina, their time together after her birthday party last year. But, she also found it comforting to know that he saw how he hurt her and that he was so willing to change.

Before she could read more, she put the journal on the nightstand and gave into her exhaustion. It would probably be the only night that week that she would get a full seven hours of sleep.

**November 17, 2011**

"Why do I feel like we're sneaking around?" Dan asked as she took the coffee from him and resumed her place on the chaise with her textbook while he sat at her desk.

"There's no sneaking around," Blair told him as she tucked her feet under her. "You brought me coffee."

"Which I still feel weird about, it's almost nine at night," he said.

"So? I'll be up all night to write this paper," she said as she leaned back with the book in her lap to take a sip of the hot liquid.

"What is this?" Dan asked when he spotted Chuck's journal on the desk.

"Put that down," Blair exclaimed as she shot up and grabbed it from him.

"Relax," he laughed as she sat back down with the journal in her lap. "I wasn't going to read your diary."

"It's not mine," she told him.

"Who's is it then?" he wanted to know. "Is it Chuck's? No, he'd never," he stopped when he saw her biting her lip. "Chuck Bass gave you his diary?"

"Journal, and yes he did," Blair said. "Now drop it or I'm kicking you out."

"So touchy, the both of you," he grinned as she tilted her head. "Chuck and I had a nice little chat at your birthday party."

"Why?" she asked, "You two hate each other."

"Hate is a strong word, Waldorf," he told her. "I was just seeing if he was serious about making it work with you this time. I don't want to see you get hurt again."

"Oh," she said quietly, not knowing what else to say.

"For what it's worth, I think he is," Dan said. "A few months ago, he wouldn't have thought twice about hitting me for what I said."

Blair just nodded tiredly as she reached for her textbook once more.

"You sure you're okay?" he asked. "Because you look exhausted."

"I'm fine," she assured him. "I have a lot on my plate but I can catch up on my sleep when the semester is over."

"Don't think I buy that for a minute," Dan said. "And is it safe for me to ask about the therapy or should I leave now?"

"You can ask," she told him with a small smirk, "Whether or not I'll tell you is another matter entirely."

"What happened?" he inquired.

"We're making progress," Blair said. "It's messy but I'm genuinely surprised with his determination."

"Have you slept with him yet?" he asked. "Don't look so shocked, it's a legitimate question based on your history together. And we're friends now so I feel comfortable asking."

"No, I have not slept with Chuck," she said exasperatedly. "I want to, but I'm not. Now that I think about it, I'd be much more relaxed if I were."

It was now Dan's turn to be shocked as she smirked and said, "Before you ask, I'm trying not to sleep with him until our therapy sessions are over. Things between us are complicated enough to begin with that I don't need sex clouding our progress."

"How's that working for you?" he asked as the color slowly came back to his face.

"For now, good," she told him. "The no touching rule helps as well as limiting our interactions to therapy and public places to keep things appropriate."

"Do Nate and I need to keep an eye on you two?" he asked her with suspicion.

"We don't need a babysitter," she said. "And if we sleep together, it's because we want to. But for now, I'm fighting it. Why? I don't know, but I am."

She yawned as she stood up with her coffee in one hand and her textbook and Chuck's journal in the other. "Go home," she told him as she motioned for him to get up. "I need my desk and this paper won't write itself."

"Call me if you need to talk," Dan told her as he pushed back and stood next to her. "And please, get some rest."

**November 21, 2011**

"You only started fighting for me when your life fell to bits," she exclaimed. "Where were you when my life was falling apart? You were screwing Raina Thorpe, that's where you were."

"I already explained that she meant nothing to me," Chuck said as even he got uncomfortable with his own reasoning. He knew what he did was wrong but there was no way to change it, all that could be done was to explain and hope for forgiveness.

"I was ready to take you back with open arms when you had to meddle with getting me that photoshoot job," she told him sadly. "I wanted to be my own woman on my own terms. That job meant nothing because I only got it because you made a call."

"Calling Epperly was only to help you," he told her. "There was never any malice in my intentions. I even had that dress made for you."

"Again, I regret not taking that picture with you," she said. "But my life felt so out of control then and the only thing I could control was turning you down. Yet again, fate stepped in and kept us apart."

"You kept us apart," Chuck said. "Besides, you had Brooklyn to comfort you. I had no one."

"And whose fault is that. I've told you before, Dan is my friend," she told him. "Whether you like it or not he's in my life and you need to accept that."

"Will you finally tell me about the prince?" he asked when she stayed silent and the therapist continued taking notes of them, wanting to move away from their talk of the photoshoot and Dan Humphrey. "I've waited long enough."

"Tell your prince where your heart truly lies, tell me. I couldn't say it then but I can say it now," Blair told him. "You have my heart, Chuck, but you've broken it so many times I'm amazed I've been able to put it back together as often as I have."

"Louis put me first, without question," she said as he stared at his hands. "For the first time in months, I felt wanted. He's a sweet and gentle man that I no right to string along."

"Why were you with him then?" he asked.

"You're really asking me that?" she countered with raised eyebrows. He nodded and she rolled her eyes before saying, "I was with him because he flew three thousand miles to be with me. Louis didn't care if his parents disowned him for being with me, I was what was important to him. I liked that feeling."

"And you were with him in every sense of the word," he said.

"Yes, I slept with him and I feel awful that I did," she reaffirmed. "And not for the reasons you think. I feel awful because I knew it meant more to him than it ever would to me. As hard as I tried to tell myself he was who I should be with, it wasn't happening."

"That's why you turned down his proposal?" Chuck asked.

"I didn't even have to do that," she told him with a sad smile as she thought about the prince. "When he asked me, words failed me. I couldn't say yes and we both knew why. He left, telling me to follow my heart and that he hoped I'd find the happiness I was looking for. That's when I left to find you."

"I was in no condition to see you, or anyone," he said. "I never should have gone to that party."

"No, but you were drunk," she said. "You humiliated the both of us that night. Even then I had to know you were okay. The state you were in as you stumbled out, I didn't know if you'd be breathing when I got to you."

"It took me ten days to leave the suite after that," Chuck said. "I knew I needed rehab and finding you gone was the wake-up call to push me to do it."

"I know, I read all about it," she revealed as she looked down.

"You read it?" he asked, surprised that she didn't let him know until just now.

"Every word of it," she said. "I read it the night you gave it to me and stayed up all night until I finished it."

"What are you talking about?" the doctor asked.

"My journal, I gave it to Blair for her birthday," Chuck told him. "I wanted her to have it."

"Interesting," the doctor noted. "What made you do that?"

"I started writing it with her in mind," Chuck disclosed to them. "I don't think I could voice everything I wrote. This way she's able to know it all on her own time."

"You seem to be the one making concessions," the therapist said. "How do you feel about that?"

"It's my turn, and it's not like I haven't pushed Blair more out of her comfort level with this than she wanted," he said. "Let it go, she is."

"Alright, I like the progress we've made," the therapist said while Blair tried to hide her smile.

"What I want you both to do is to meet up outside of our sessions," the doctor told them. "And when you do that, don't discuss the past. Learn about each other's lives, find out what the other does on a daily basis."

"Lunch was nice," Chuck said.

"It was," Blair agreed. "However, I'm not able to meet with you again this week. The semester is almost over, I have papers to write and exams to study for. Maybe we could talk on the phone one night?"

"Yes," he smirked as she reached for her purse and left with a backward glance to him that left them both feeling that familiar flutter in the pit of their stomachs.

**November 22, 2011**

"How are things at work?" Serena asked him as they sat in the living room of his apartment.

"Fine," he told her. Chuck was still stressed over the deal with the Dubai hotel but didn't want Lily to know and try to interfere. He needed to make this work on his own, without help from anyone.

"And things with Blair?" she inquired further.

"Good, better," he said, still not wanting to divulge too much of their sessions to anyone. It was the only thing he had with Blair and he wanted to keep it to himself. "She said you two ran into each other at Columbia."

"We did," the blonde said. "She's so busy though, I don't think she's slept in weeks. I'm nervous, you know how Blair gets when she pushes herself."

"I've noticed," Chuck told her. "There's nothing we can do except brace ourselves for the fallout and hope one of us is there to pick up the pieces."

"Do you think it'll come to that?" Serena asked worriedly.

"It could, let's hope it doesn't," he said as his phone went off, it was his lawyer. "I need to take this, can you see yourself out?" he asked as he stood.

She nodded as he turned to go to his office. "Are you sure?" Chuck asked him. "Because if we go forward and everything isn't in order irreparable damage will be done and the plans may as well be scrapped."

"Okay, send it to me at home and I'll have it back to you within the hour," Chuck told him.

The final pieces of red tape had finally been cut for the renovations to begin on the Dubai hotel. He had everything riding on this project and needed to ensure it went out without a hitch. He'd probably have to go over in January to oversee that it was all going according to his specifications and to meet the key people over there.

Hopefully by then, he'd be in a better place with Blair and they'd be moving towards the reconciliation they both needed. As it was, when he wasn't consumed with work his mind always wandered to her. She was running herself ragged and he knew it was going to catch up with her. He also knew that she didn't like to be reminded of that fact so he remained quiet but alert, braced to help her pick up the pieces when she did.

**November 28, 2011**

The therapist took a passive approach to this session as he followed the back and forth between Chuck and Blair. He tried to intervene to get them to lower their voices but they ignored him as they continued their verbal barrage at each other.

"Tricking me into kissing that guy so you could give some stupid speech," he said. "Or what about going behind my back to Jack to get that liquor license for the Empire. And then there are the times you chose Nate and Marcus over me. You even chose Humphrey over me at the photoshoot."

"I can't believe you're going there," she cried. "You forgave me for that kiss over the speech. And do you really want to compare what we've done with Jack for the Empire. You made a deal with him, knowing that I would have sex with him, again, just so you could keep your precious Empire."

Blair was seething with rage as his words replayed themselves in her mind. "Nate and Marcus were mistakes and I told you that," she said. "Dan is my friend, end of story. I have no romantic feelings for him whatsoever. And I kissed him, once, a kiss that meant nothing."

"But since you're bringing up the past, what about the time you sent in that blast to Gossip Girl about me sleeping with you and Nate in the same week?" she exclaimed. "Or the time my life was crashing and burning because of that stunt with Miss Carr? You only cared once it was too late, I was never a priority for you."

"What I did was worse, yes," he yelled. "But what you did still hurt me."

"And I'm sorry," she yelled back. "I'm no saint, trust me, I know that. Why are you reaching so far back? I hurt you and I'm so sorry for that. But after I broke up with you over that deal with Jack and the Empire, you damaged us in ways I never did. And I'm still here, wanting you and fighting for what we had. Can we please just talk about this past year and leave the rest where it belongs?"

"Fine," Chuck said as he got angrier by the second, "What about your engagement to Louis? I know you slept with him, was it everything you imagined it would be like? Bedding a prince?"

"Don't you dare judge me for sleeping with Louis," she exclaimed. "He was the only man I was with this year. How many whores were you with? Or have there been so many that you've lost track?"

"I don't know," he told her, "Maybe twenty, thirty or so including Raina."

"You have sex with thirty women, most of whom you probably don't even remember their name and you judge me for sleeping with the one man that I was in a relationship with this past year," Blair raged. "You have some nerve."

"It wasn't just that you slept with him, you told me you made love with him," Chuck said with pain etched on his face.

"You're arguing semantics with me?" she exclaimed. "It's sex no matter the words you use to describe it."

"No, it's not just sex," he asserted. "I've only ever made love with you. There is a huge difference."

"And what's that?" she asked, not realizing how much of a difference the words meant to him.

"I love you, and being with you wasn't just physical," he told her, his voice thick with emotion. "It was more, it was everything, and I've only ever felt that with you."

"You cared for Eva and Raina, you probably even said those three words to them while in the throes," she spat as she rolled her eyes.

"I never said those words to anyone but you. And I had sex with Eva and Raina, it was nothing special," he told her. "And the whores and hookers, I fucked them."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Blair asked.

"That's not why I'm telling you this," he said. "I'm telling you that you are the only woman I ever fell in love with and made love to. Being with you means more to me than anything. I gave you my heart that night in the limo, it's always been yours."

"Bullshit," she said evenly. "If that were true you never would have moved on so quickly."

"They never came close to the feelings I had for you," he told her.

"Then why did you have sex with them?" she asked as she willed the tears not to form. "It's so easy for you to have sex with random women. You say they never came close to how I made you feel. How could you go back to random fucking after making love with me? How could you do that to me?"

"Because I was afraid to be alone," Chuck said.

"That's no excuse," she told him. "Nobody likes to be alone but you don't see me fucking every man I see."

"How do you explain Jack?" he retorted. "Were you not lonely and missing me?"

"I had sex with your skeezy uncle because it was the only way he would bring you out of that hole you crawled into after Bart's death," Blair exclaimed, blanching when it hit her that she finally revealed her real reason for being with Jack to Chuck. She continued now that she had that can of worms already open. "He taunted me by saying how easy it would be for him to get you but that he had no incentive to do so. You can follow the rest on your own without me completely reliving that."

Chuck felt himself losing oxygen as his insides felt like they were on fire. "That's why you were with Jack?" he asked with quiet realization. "Why didn't you ever tell me? Knowing this would have changed everything."

"It would have made you never want to touch me again," Blair said as she stared straight in front of her. "As it is, I doubt you'll be back next week now."

Her eyes were closed when he took her hand in his, "Thank you. I'm so sorry you felt you couldn't tell me that before but I'm not going anywhere, Blair."

"Prove it," she said as she pulled her hand away from his and commanded herself not to give into the sobs she so desperately wanted to.

"Nothing has changed," he said quietly. "You've been with five men, I can't even give you a number for how many women I've been with. We don't have any secrets anymore, at least I don't think we do."

"You know everything now. But we've been here so many times before, Chuck," she said. "If we want a future we need to take a different route. We both made mistakes and I don't want us to make them again."

"If I may," the doctor cut in, "We've spent these past two months going over what's happened between you two. The hurt you feel, Blair, is real, and won't go away. And Chuck, you're hurt as well, not only by Blair's actions but also your own. My proposal at this time is to look in your hearts and see if you can forgive each other. Once you can do that, the past needs to be boxed up and discussed no more. No good will come from talking about it further."

"We can talk about this more next week," he told them. "Think about what I said and let me know your thoughts when we meet again."

They nodded as they stood up in silence. It wasn't until they were at the door that they realized it was the first time leaving one of their sessions together.

"Thank you," he said as he held the door open for her before stopping on the sidewalk.

"For what?" she asked

"Continuing to fight for us," he told her. "I don't make it easy."

"Neither do I. We still have a lot of issues to sort out," she said as she stifled a yawn. "I need to get back to school, I'll see you soon."

"When was the last time you slept?" he asked.

"Last night," she told him, leaving out the fact that it was only for three hours before she woke up early to study. "I have to go."

"I'll call you tonight," he called as she stopped in front of her towncar. She turned and nodded before stepping in as her driver closed the door behind her.

**_Please review if you'd like me to continue. And if I haven't heard from you yet, leave a review. Lots of you have favorited or alerted this story but have yet to leave a comment. I'd love to hear your thoughts and it's very easy to do, not to mention it would really make me smile =D_**

**_This chapter included the explosive sessions I wanted to cover because I do want to start to mend things with them more. Blair's breakdown is now imminent but she's trying desperately to keep that knowledge from anyone. Chuck is finally aware of everything between them and is on alert that Blair is at an extremely fragile place and wants to make sure he's there to help her pick up the pieces. Their dynamic is changing, it's about time he takes care of her, don't you think?_**

**_I did some foreshadowing with this chapter, could you pick up on where I'm taking them? I'd love to hear your guesses. More of Chuck's journal will be included in future chapters so you'll be able to read his thoughts on what's happened. _**

**_They will probably revisit their talk of Raina and Louis but I'm leaving it ambiguous for now. Chuck and Blair also have to discuss their summers and get caught up with the present. As always, please let me know what you wish you read so that I can incorporate it into future chapters =)_**

**_Also, what are your thoughts on them having sex again? I'm in the process of sketching out the rest of this story and I would love your feedback on this. Should it be planned and really romantic or spontaneous and in the heat of the moment? And how long do you think they should wait? _**

**_Remember, more reviews = more love = faster update =) And I love detailed reviews, the longer the better. _**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Author's Note: Thank you so much for all the support of this story! It puts such a smile on my face when I read a new review or see that someone added this story to their favorites or alerts =)

This chapter is longer than usual because of the long wait so I hope you enjoy it. Oh how I wish that the show were following this story's general storyline instead of the trainwreck they're presenting us with. Ugh, so much to rant about so please bear with me as I go off on the writers.

I know that Gossip Girl is just a television show but these new episodes really bother me. This show started out as a teen melodrama, now it's a full-blown soap opera and I don't like that. It's at the point now where I will physically cringe when I watch the show. I may tune in to 5x04 but I may not. Thankfully recaps and clips are available very soon after the episodes air so I don't have to wait long to find out what happened.

Now onto what happened in 5x03. Can I just say that when I read about Blair telling Chuck that Louis was the father, I wanted to cry? Chuck is totally her baby's father. You could see the regret flash in her eyes when she saw Monkey. I think she was afraid Chuck wouldn't be able to take on the responsibility of a child after thinking he returned the dog. But when he kept it and was "responsible," you could see how she saw her mistake. Why else would she hide the paternity envelope from Louis if he were the father?

And then when Chuck started crying alone with his new dog, OMG, tears! Blair is such a liar, and a total bitch as well. Out of everyone in this twisted love triangle, I feel the worst for Louis. It is not going to end well for him. We all know that Chair is endgame eventually and while I hate Louis in the picture because I love Chuck so much, he really is a good man and doesn't deserve the pain he's going to feel when Blair chooses Chuck. These writers may be evil but they do know how to draw viewers in and keep them interested.

I've said this before and I'm going to say it again – the writers on the show are incredibly cruel and I totally have a masochistic streak because I can't stay away. I may not watch the episodes live but I wait for the recaps and clips online like a junkie waiting for a fix. Please don't judge me. My rant is now over, I'd love to read yours in the reviews ;)

On a happier note, _The__Way__We__Were_ and _Of__Course_ have been updated and I will have a new chapter of _Could__it__Be_ out within the week with my current rant on the episodes. Do you think Louis is really the father of Blair's baby? I don't, it's total BS in my opinion. That and I really don't see Blair's pregnancy going to term, babies and Gossip Girl just don't seem to mix for the long run.

Rajamoon – Thank you! So glad you enjoy reading and I can't wait to read what you think of this chapter.

Rose – Thanks so much for the feedback! I did my best in this chapter to get deeper into Chair's issues. Remember, I'm not a therapist and have no experience with this type of relationship. As far as the Empire fiasco, I've never gone into much discussion of that in any of my stories because Blair was ready to forgive Chuck for that before she found out about Gothic Barbie. I hope you enjoy this chapter as they start to move forward more. Also, I tend to look at Chair's relationship as purely fiction as I would never put up with that in real life. Looking forward to your thoughts on this chapter.

A fan – Thank you so much! I understand what you're saying about their love. It's tragically beautiful as they're fated for each other but it's taken so much to get them to finally realize that. I'm so flattered that this is the first GG story you check for updates =) Can't wait to read your review of this chapter.

88Mary88 – Thanks so much! There is so much I wish Blair and Chuck said to each other on the show but it will never happen, thankfully I have fanfiction as my outlet for that, LOL. I'm approaching Blair's breakdown a bit differently so what you read in this chapter won't unravel like you expect. Looking forward to your next review.

Kayla – Thanks! Chair meets up more outside of therapy in this chapter. I totally agree that Chuck has done worse things than Blair has but they need to work together to get back what they lost. Let me know your thoughts on this chapter.

Ellibells – Thank you! I haven't decided how I want their first time back together again to be. That being said, the scene you requested is in this chapter so I'm really looking forward to your feedback on it. The last chapter was emotional and I'd love to know if you shed tears for this one. Can't wait to read your next review.

Chairfanforever – Thanks! I always thought that Chuck saw that Blair was the only one he ever truly made love to so I had to get that into the dialogue in this story. Looking forward to your thoughts on this chapter.

Bloomerica – Thank you! So happy to hear this story is becoming one of your favorites =D Chair is moving towards their future and boxing up the past. With the show how it is, I think we all need it, don't you? Can't wait to read what you think of this chapter.

Trosev – Thanks! Chair definitely needs to start doing what a couple does, and they start in this chapter. They need each other more than ever now and I can't wait to read what you think of them in this chapter.

Pty – Thank you so much! I'm glad you like the friendship threads I weave in as well as the intensity of the therapy sessions. A lot happens in this chapter and I can't wait to read your thoughts on it all. Any spoilers on Louis leaving and Blair telling Chuck he's the father of her baby? Looking forward to those and your review of this chapter.

GGfan73104 – Thank you! Dramatic and explosive, just what I was going for ;) I totally get what you're saying about the sex and I think we may think alike. I'm a total sucker for romance, if you didn't already know that, LOL. Can't wait to read your thoughts on this chapter.

TriGemini – Thanks so much! What do you think of this new season? I'm not liking Blair's denial or Louis and am holding out hope for Chair in the future. I've always hated how the show portrayed Chuck as the type who couldn't handle a crisis. I think that given the chance, he could be Blair's rock if they both let him. As for Blair's spiral, it's drastic and it will definitely test Chuck. As for the sex, I'm liking that it should be casual, romantic but casual. As always, I can't wait to read your next review.

Iwishiwasabass – Thank you! Can't wait to read your thoughts on this chapter.

LeftWriter224 – Thank you so much! They do talk more about Raina and Louis in this chapter. The breakdown is in this chapter so I can't wait to read what you think of it. And romantic sex would probably be best for them to start with. Looking forward to your review of this chapter.

_Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl, or Ed Westwick – sigh. _

**November 28, 2011**

Chuck waited until later that night to call Blair. He could see that the wall she built between them was slowly crumbling and wanted to be there as it did.

"So, you've only ever made love to me?" she asked after a few minutes of small talk.

"That's right," he told her.

"Why?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" he countered.

"How was making love different than having sex?" Blair wanted to know.

"Sex was purely physical, an itch that needed to be scratched," he said. "Making love, with you, really was a way of expressing how much I love you. I'm sorry that I ever made you doubt that."

"I know, and I do know how much you love me," she said. "I also like hearing you tell me."

"Then I'll tell you," Chuck said. "I love you, Blair."

"You know I love you, Chuck," she told him, biting her lip as she tried to figure out why she was feeling so flushed.

"You really don't know when you knew you were in love with me?" he asked.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, now on-guard and knowing full well what he meant but wanting to avoid it.

"In therapy, you said it was a feeling you couldn't describe," he said. "I told you I knew when I saw you going off with Nate. You never told me when you realized you loved me."

"Our first time in the limo," she revealed.

"Really, you knew then?" he asked with surprise.

"You said it yourself, we were best friends since childhood," she told him as she felt herself blushing. "I knew how you were when it came to sex, and gentle wasn't a word I'd use. But that night, with me, you were nothing but. You kept asking me if I were sure, giving me an out if I wanted one."

"That's when you knew, because I didn't take advantage of you?" he responded, slightly put-off that that's how she came to fall in love with him.

"I fell in love with you that night because you showed me how you really are," she said. "You could have just had sex with me, but you took your time making sure I was comfortable, making sure I enjoyed myself. And I did, so much. It must not have been that pleasurable for you though seeing as I had no idea what I was doing."

"Oh, I got a lot of pleasure out of that night," he told her as he thought back to the moment that changed his life forever.

"How? What could you have gotten out of it?" she asked.

"What did I get out of it? I got to experience your first time," he said. "I was the one you trusted enough to give your virginity to. Even back then I knew what that meant."

There was a silence as they both mulled over before Blair broke the silence with the burning question of the day.

"What do you think of the therapist's idea to box everything up and never talk about it again?" she asked. "Is that really practical for us?"

"I don't know if it's practical but I do think it will allow us to move on easier," Chuck said. "The past can't be erased, Blair. It won't do us any good if we continue talking about it."

"We still have more to discuss though," she told him. "This last year was such a rollercoaster ride for us, I'm still trying to process it all."

"What do you want to know?" he asked.

"What do I want to know? I want to know everything," Blair said. "I've read your journal more times than I can count but I still have questions I need answered."

"Then ask me, I'll tell you anything. How about we try and talk about this outside of our sessions?" he suggested. "It couldn't hurt."

"No, it couldn't," she said, "But not tonight."

"We'll move past all this, Blair, I miss you," he told her. "I want nothing more than to have what we had."

"Can I tell you a secret?" she asked.

"Please do," he said.

"I'm afraid what will happen when we get together again," she said. "What if it doesn't work out, what then?"

"It'll work out, I won't stop fighting for us," he said. "And I know you won't stop either."

"Things will change then," she said quietly. "As soon as we sleep together again, I can't help but think things will get even more tangled."

"That's usually the goal," Chuck smirked. "Besides, that was one area we never had trouble in."

"No, we never did," she agreed with him as she fought back a yawn. "I'm going to go, are you free for lunch tomorrow?"

"For you, I'm always free," he said. "Our usual time and place?"

"Yes," she said with a smile. "See you tomorrow, Chuck."

"Sweet dreams, Blair," he told her before hanging up, "Sweet dreams."

**December 8, 2011**

"Can we expect you to sleep when classes are over?" Dan asked as he, Nate, and Blair sat around the kitchen table at the penthouse.

"Just because my classes at Columbia are over for the term doesn't mean I don't have other work to do," Blair told them as she took a sip of her latte. "I still have to study for the LSATs and go to my internship."

"No," Nate said, "You let it slip yourself last week that they give the interns off for winter break because they are unpaid and it's illegal to have you work without pay or credit."

"I didn't know this," Dan said as he looked at Nate and then Blair.

"I was going to tell you," Nate said. "But I've been doing actual coursework these past few weeks."

"It's rough when all of your professors are men in their sixties, isn't it?" Blair smirked. "You're not able to sleep your way to a good grade, or are you?"

"What? No," Nate exclaimed as he started choking on his drink. "No, I'm going to try and pass on my own."

"Good to hear, buddy," Dan smiled as he shared a look with Nate before turning back to Blair. "How's Chuck?"

"He's good," Blair said as she took another sip in an attempt to hide the smile on her face.

"And the therapy?" Nate asked.

"Good," Blair told them as she put her drink down and bit her lip. "I think we're ready to move forward."

"Explain, we need details, Waldorf," Dan told her with a grin.

"We're learning more about each other," Blair said. "Everything is happening slowly, we don't want to rush into anything this time."

"Are you and Chuck capable of moving at a slow speed?" Nate asked.

"It's not standard for us but we've made accommodations," Blair said.

"You're both in this for good?" Dan asked her. "Because taking him back is a big step for you."

"Therapy is also a big step for him," Blair stated. "Chuck has never been comfortable with his feelings or showing weakness, but he did both of those things when he checked into rehab this summer. Yes, it was necessary and the right thing to do but difficult nonetheless. And before either of you say anything, I know what I'm getting myself into and I want it."

"We know," Nate smiled, "We know."

"Are you both ready for finals?" Dan asked, effectively changing the subject as he reached for a croissant. "I know I am."

Blair smirked as she took another sip of her latte. "We know she is," Nate said as he looked at her, "All she does is study."

"It would do you good if you studied half as much as I did," she stated. "Maybe then you'd get higher than a C."

"If he studied a quarter of the time you did he'd be better off," Dan laughed as Nate rolled his eyes. "I'm just saying, Nate."

"Whatever," Nate shrugged. "My looks have gotten me this far."

"You sure about that?" Blair asked. "Because I think your hair is starting to thin out."

"It is not," Nate exclaimed as he ran his hands through his hair. "Don't say that, B. It's not funny."

"It's a little funny," Dan told him as Blair laughed and Nate's breathing was still fast.

**December 12, 2011**

With the therapy sessions starting to wind down, their emotions weren't so raw as they spent almost every night on the phone.

Chuck finally saw how hurt Blair was by Eva. It wasn't just that he moved on with her but that he did treat her so much better right from the start. Blair needed to know why he treated Eva and Raina so well when she had to work so hard for half of that treatment. She felt their relationship was cheapened by the way he was with Eva and Raina. Chuck had already apologized but that wasn't what Blair was looking for.

It took a few days before Chuck understood that he was wrong for what he did. Yes, he was lonely and they were there but so was Blair. Instead of fighting to get back what he had with her he just took the easy route with someone else. When he told her that, she was so grateful that they were talking on the phone because she couldn't stop the tears that escaped her eyes. That was all she wanted to hear from him about that and felt that they were one step closer to closure and sealing the box of their transgressions for good.

Another thing that really hurt Blair was how Chuck recreated Venice for Raina last Valentine's Day. She never thought he would develop true feelings for Thorpe's daughter and was devastated when he did. They already discussed how he only did what he had to in order to gain her trust but it still hurt. It made Blair wonder if what he did with her was something he did with other women as well.

Looking back at how he acted, Chuck couldn't believe his cruelty. That Valentine's Day recreation for Raina was put together by an event planner he hired. The extent of his involvement was finding out about her original plans and paying someone to set it up. It was nothing like what he did with their Bacchanalia the previous year and he assured Blair that it wasn't the same.

Not only did Chuck meticulously go over every detail of their passionate weekend, he personally saw that everything was perfect for her, down to the color and feel of the tablecloths. He was stupid, he knew that, but he also knew that the chance he was being given with Blair was a gift he didn't want to mess up.

Days went by talking about Chuck's behavior and Blair's feelings on the matter before they turned to her actions. He would never like Dan but he wasn't daft enough to make Blair choose between him and her friendship with the Brooklynite. Dan was there for her when he wasn't and Chuck decided that was something he needed to live with, just like Blair had to live with all of his senseless indiscretions.

Her relationship with Louis took longer for Chuck to come to terms with. He always thought Blair would wait for him, he never imagined she would move on. That selfishness cost him everything with her, and he finally got why. They talked about everything they were feeling and Chuck was at last able to voice how much he saw that now. While it hurt that she was with someone else, he realized that it was absurd to expect her to wait for him despite the fact that he was with other women.

Most of the bitterness from their early sessions had dissipated and now they mainly felt sadness over all that transpired. By the time they met with their therapist again, they were ready to move to the next level with each other.

"Have you thought more about what I suggested last week?" the therapist asked them when they were seated next to each other on the couch opposite him.

"Yes," Chuck said as he looked at Blair, "We spent the whole week talking about it and we've decided that boxing up the past is what we need."

"I think we needed to grow up," Blair said when they both looked at her. "Maybe everything that happened was necessary for us to know for sure how we felt. I love Chuck more today than I did five years ago. We appreciate each other more now, our priorities are in order and we know what we want."

"And what is it you want?" the therapist asked.

"Each other," Blair told him, glancing sideways at Chuck to see him smirking at her.

"This is good," he said as he wrote something down. "Are you ready to metaphorically tape up the box and move forward from it?"

"I am," Chuck said.

"So am I," Blair added.

"Wonderful," the therapist smiled as he closed his portfolio and looked at them, "I'll see you both at our next session to discuss how you two are doing."

**December 15, 2011**

"You used your key," he said when he came into the living room to see Blair putting down the phone.

While Chuck usually spent his father's anniversary with scotch and a darkened room, this year he planned to forget about it the best he could and go to the office. He still had a lot of work to get done and didn't want to fall back on any of his old, destructive habits. His alarm was set but he got out of bed early when he heard a woman's voice. Thinking it was Lily, he was happily surprised to see Blair instead.

"Room service will be up shortly," she told him as she turned around to face him. "I know how hard today is for you, I had to make sure you were okay."

"Don't you have classes to go to?" Chuck asked her. "You don't need to babysit me, I'll be fine."

"It's finals week," she told him. "And I don't have one today. Besides, I spoke with Lily and you don't need to be in the office today. I thought we could spend the day together, if you want to."

He nodded as she said, "I'm always your friend, Chuck. Today is the last day I'd ever leave you alone."

"Thanks," he said as he ran a hand through his hair and looked down at his black silk pajamas. "Should I get dressed?"

"You don't have to," she said. "We're not going anywhere. I thought it would be best to keep a low profile and just stay in."

"What exactly did you have planned then?" he asked with a smirk, happy that Blair not only remembered what today was but that she also made plans to ensure his mind was occupied.

"Just talking," she said with a laugh. "With all the talking we've done in therapy, our personal lives are still quite a mystery."

"What personal lives?" he chuckled. "I work all the time and you have more things on your plate than you should."

Her eyes narrowed at him when she heard the elevator ding. Watching each other as breakfast was set up at the dining room table, they quietly served themselves before sitting on the couch to eat.

They ate in comfortable silence, the air between them free from all the tension that had built up in the last year. When their plates were on the coffee table, Blair turned to Chuck and said, "Tell me what's going on with Bass Industries."

"What have you heard?" he asked, unsure how much she knew about his financial situation and how much he wanted her to know.

"Not much, just that someone bought the company and kept you and Lily on," she told him. "Why? What's going on?"

"I have a few projects I'm working on at the moment," he said vaguely.

"And they are," she prodded.

"One of them is the acquisition of a construction company," Chuck told her. "There was too much delay when we used a third party. This way, we keep everything in-house and it can move faster and more efficiently."

"Smart call," she said, "What else?"

"I'm overseeing a change in the booking system we use in our hotels in Europe," he said. "Each country has a different one, it should be streamlined so that each country is using the same one."

"Are you sure you don't have a business degree?" Blair asked teasingly as he smirked. "Anything else you're working on?"

"Yes, actually," he said slowly. "I invested in a hotel in Dubai."

Her brows furrowed as she looked at him, "You personally or Bass Industries?"

"You don't miss anything," Chuck smirked as she tilted her head. "Yes, I invested personally. I want my company back so it's my own money tied up in this deal, all of it."

"Wow, what'll you do if it doesn't work out?" she asked.

"Then I'm screwed," he said dryly as he took a sip of his orange juice and sat back.

"You don't have a backup plan?" she asked with surprise. "Why would you risk your own money without a contingency in place?"

"Because I don't like having to report to someone," he told her. "While I was at the Ostroff Center, the Captain helped me devise a plan to buy back Bass Industries within the decade. If this hotel in Dubai is successful, I could shave two years off that plan."

Blair wanted to go off on him but understood why he felt he needed to do this. Bass Industries was the legacy Bart left him and she knew Chuck felt the need to regain it to its former glory and make his father proud.

"I think Bart would approve," she said with a small smile on her face.

"Maybe," he said uncomfortably as he looked away from her, not ready to discuss his father.

When a piece of hair fell across his forehead, her fingers reached out to brush it back into place before she could think twice about it.

"I'm sorry," Blair told him once her hand was back in her lap and he was staring intently at her. "I shouldn't have done that."

"Don't be, I liked it," he smirked, causing her to roll her eyes as a faint flush crept onto her face. "Besides, I wasn't the one who implemented the no touching rule. In fact, I think we should be done with it."

"You do?" she asked with a playful glint in her eyes.

"I do," he told her as his hand rested on her cheek, "That way I can do this."

Chuck slowly leaned towards her and while she saw it coming, she just waited for his lips to touch hers. Blair could feel the electricity between them as much as he did and felt herself melt into him. After a few moments though, she pulled back with a shy smile on her face.

She shook her head and backed into the corner of the couch, "Not yet. I should probably go."

"Don't," he said quickly as his hand rested on her arm, "I won't do anything until you ask me to."

"Okay," Blair said softly, "I'll stay."

"Are you going to stay over there the whole day?" he asked her with a smile.

"Where do you think I should be?" she asked.

"Right here," he told her as put his arm on the back of the couch, "Come on. I promise not to bite, much."

She looked at him with hesitation before moving towards him and settling into his side. His arm wrapped around her as she rested her head on his chest, sighing quietly at how perfectly they still fit together.

"How are you doing?" Chuck asked as he began to stroke her hair. "Do you have any more finals left?"

"Two," she told him with her eyes closed, "Economics and finance are on Saturday. I've been studying all semester but I'll go over my outlines tomorrow."

"Will you take a break then?" he asked her.

"No, when classes are done I need to continue reviewing for the LSATs," Blair said.

"How much studying can you really do for that?" he wanted to know as he held her tighter. "You don't take that until next year."

"I'll stop when I get a 180 on every practice exam I do," she said. "Last term blew my chances at a 4.0 GPA but I can still get as close to it if I get straight As this year and next year. A 180 will all but guarantee me a spot at Columbia's law school. I can't jeopardize that."

"You won't," he said as he continued stroking her hair and felt her breathing slow as she began to drift to sleep. "I think you should take a nap."

"You're not getting me into bed," she mumbled as she poked him.

"Nap here," he said as he rubbed the spot on his ribs she just poked, "We don't have to move."

"Good, because I'm comfortable like this," she said quietly.

"I can see that," he smirked when he looked at her fast asleep on him. He laughed as his arms wrapped around her.

She was exhausted and slept for the rest of the afternoon. Chuck didn't move from where he was because he wanted her to sleep without disturbance.

"What time is it?" she asked with a yawn as she pulled back from him and saw that it was dark outside. "Why didn't you wake me up?"

"It's seven o'clock," he told her, missing her warmth as she sat next to him and smoothed out her hair. "And you're exhausted, I wasn't about to interrupt what was possibly the most sleep you've gotten this week."

"Drop it," she said as she rubbed her eyes and stood up. "Are you hungry? We could order in."

"Sounds good," he smirked as he reached for the phone. "Should I place our order for breakfast as well?"

"Nice try," she smiled. "I'm going home after dinner."

"You can't blame me for trying," he told her.

Blair rolled her eyes as she sat next to him on the couch again while they waited for room service.

**December 18, 2011**

Eric was home for winter break and spent most of his time catching up with Chuck.

"Blair spent Bart's anniversary with me," Chuck told his stepbrother with a smile.

"Mom told me," Eric said. "Blair's still a bit frosty to her and Serena but they're overjoyed with the progress you two have made."

"Do you talk with her at all?" Chuck asked as Eric froze slightly.

"I'm not asking you to divulge your conversations," Chuck added. "I just want to know if she has someone else to talk with. I'm worried about her."

"Why?" Eric asked.

"She's running herself into the ground," Chuck told him. "I don't think she sleeps, she lives alone at the penthouse, and Nate and Humphrey seem to be the only ones she's really friends with."

"We talk, about once a week," Eric said. "You know how Blair is, she always needs to be doing something. With the scheming behind her, she's throwing herself into school. Getting into law school is very important to her."

"I know," Chuck said, "She thinks last term destroyed her chances."

"She didn't," Eric said. "Blair may think that but now that her mind is focused on school nothing will hold her back. You know that."

"That's what I told her," Chuck laughed, amused how they were both on the same wavelength.

"Serena met up with her last week and you two are on the same page," Eric told him. "She did tell me that Blair looks more tired than usual. Not even the best makeup was able to conceal her dark circles."

"I'm so worried that it's only a matter of time before she implodes," Chuck said. "We may be talking more now and moving towards a real relationship but I've only seen her twice since we agreed to that in therapy."

"Why?" Eric asked as his brows knit together. "What's she hiding?"

"Nothing," Chuck said quickly, "At least I don't think she's hiding something. What do you know?"

"Relax, I'm sure she's fine," Eric said. "Don't you see her on Mondays in therapy?"

"Our sessions are on hold until after New Year's," Chuck told him. "I'm busy at work and Blair needed to study for finals before she leaves for France to celebrate Christmas with her parents."

"Are you coming with us to Martinique?" Eric asked. "We'd love it if you did."

"No, I'm going to work, get these deals moving along," Chuck said as Eric went to protest. "Please, I never liked the holidays, let it go."

"Alright," Eric conceded, "But this means I want all the details about what you've been doing at Bass Industries as well as how things are progressing with Blair."

"Only if you tell me how your first semester of college went," Chuck countered with a smirk.

"Deal," Eric smiled as they spent the rest of the night talking.

**December 21, 2011**

Chuck was at a business meeting when the gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach wouldn't go away. He couldn't stop thinking about how Blair looked more and more exhausted each time he saw her or spoke with her. Even though he was in a meeting to discuss one of his projects with Bass Industries, his focus wasn't there and he needed to get to Blair.

"Gentleman," he said as he looked at his phone again before pushing back from the table, "I hate to do this, but I need to reschedule this meeting. A family emergency just came up and I have to leave."

"Is everything all right with Lily?" one of them asked.

"Lily is fine," Chuck told them. "My apologies for this, stay as long as you like on my tab. I'll have my secretary reschedule our meeting in the morning. Excuse me."

He had another round of drinks sent over to them before getting into the limo and telling Arthur to drive him to the penthouse. He called Blair but there was no answer, which made him even more nervous.

When Chuck stepped out of the elevator, he called out for her but was met with only silence. The first floor was dark and empty so he quietly made his way up the stairs, not hearing anything until he got closer to her bedroom. He could feel his chest getting tight when he slipped through the half-opened door and made his way to the bathroom where her sobs were coming from.

His heart stopped when he saw the bath filled with bubbles, a box of macaroons on the side, and no Blair. He breathed a sigh of relief when he heard her sobs coming from the shower.

She was sitting in the corner of the shower, shivering as the water continued to fall in front of her. Her knees were pulled up and she rested her chin on them as her arms were wrapped around her legs. Chuck grabbed a towel as he made his way to her, shutting the water off before he sat next to her and wrapped her in the fluffy towel.

"It's okay," he said soothingly as he pulled her to him and rubbed his hand up and down her arm. "Everything will be okay."

Chuck sat next to her in the shower, his suit getting soaking wet as she leaned into him and he sat back. They stayed there until Blair's sobs stopped and he lifted her in his arms and carried her to the bedroom. When he set her down on the bed with the towel around her, she stared blankly straight in front of her.

When Chuck opened the armoire to get a nightgown for her, what he saw was unexpected. Three pairs of his pajamas were neatly folded at the bottom. After quickly discarding his wet clothes and changing into one of the pajamas, he turned back to Blair to help her into a nightgown. She was eerily quiet and didn't fight him when he removed the towel from around her or as he gently slipped the nightgown over her head.

He would have been even more concerned if she didn't curl into him as he lay next to her under the covers. That told him that she was aware of what was going on, just not ready to do any thinking she didn't absolutely have to do. He had no idea what to say to her that would do any good. All he could think of was that she needed someone with her and how he wasn't going anywhere until they talked about how she was running herself into the ground.

He was broken out of his thoughts when she crawled on top of him. "Make love to me, Chuck," she pleaded as she reached up to kiss his neck. "Make me feel better."

As much as he wanted her, he couldn't take advantage of her during her obvious breakdown. Ignoring how painfully hard he was, he fought her off.

"This isn't how you want it," he said as he took her hand in his and pulled it away from his waistband. "We're not having our first time back together like this. You're too upset now."

"Which is why I need you," Blair told him, kissing the spot under his ear that always put him right where she wanted him. "I need you to make me feel better."

He groaned as he rolled onto his side and wrapped his arms around her. "Talk to me," he said quietly.

"No, get out," she cried as she went to pull away only for him to hold her tighter. "If you don't want me, then leave."

She continued to struggle out of his embrace as he told her, "Of course I want you, I just don't want you to regret this in the morning."

"I won't regret it," she purred as her face shone with her shed tears and she tried to straddle his waist once more but to no avail. He knew she wasn't herself with how her moods were changing so quickly. Doing his best to fend off her advances while holding her to him, his willpower was decreasing as his pants became more and more uncomfortable.

**_Please _****_review_****_ if_****_ you'd_****_ like _****_me_****_ to _****_continue._****_ And _****_if_****_ I_****_ haven't _****_heard _****_from_****_ you _****_yet, _****_leave _****_a _****_review._****_ Lots_****_ of_****_ you _****_have _****_favorited_****_ or_****_ alerted_****_ this_****_ story_****_ but_****_ have_****_ yet _****_to _****_leave_****_ a _****_comment. _****_I'd _****_love_****_ to _****_hear _****_your_****_ thoughts _****_and _****_it's _****_very_****_ easy _****_to _****_do, _****_not _****_to _****_mention _****_it _****_would_****_ really _****_make _****_me _****_smile_****_ =D_**********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

**_With_****_ the_****_ show _****_currently _****_depressing _****_for _****_Chair _****_fans , _****_I _****_feel _****_the_****_ need _****_to _****_move _****_them_****_ towards_****_ their _****_full _****_reconciliation_****_ in _****_this _****_story. _****_Also, _****_my _****_resolve _****_will _****_probably _****_break _****_down_****_ before _****_5x04 _****_airs _****_and _****_I _****_think _****_I_**_'_**_ll _****_need_****_ to _****_watch _****_it _****_live._****_ Granted, _****_I_**_'_**_ll _****_be _****_cringing _****_about _****_Blair_****_ being _****_with _****_Louis _****_but _****_if _****_I_****_ remind_****_ myself _****_that _****_he _****_is _****_just _****_a_****_ distraction _****_and_****_ Chair _****_is _****_endgame _****_I_**_'_**_m _****_sure _****_I_**_'_**_ll _****_be_****_ able _****_to _****_watch _****_the_****_ whole _****_episode. _****_No _****_promises _****_though, _****_I_**_'_**_m _****_very _****_squeamish._******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

**_I_****_ didn_**_'_**_t _****_have_****_ a_****_ typical _****_therapy _****_session _****_in _****_this _****_chapter _****_because, _****_quite _****_frankly, _****_I_**_'_**_m _****_not _****_entirely _****_sure_****_ how_****_ to _****_word _****_it_****_ properly. _****_I _****_decided_****_ that_****_ describing_****_ their _****_talks, _****_their _****_feelings, _****_and _****_the_****_ outcome _****_of _****_it _****_was _****_a_****_ better _****_way_****_ to _****_go. _****_That _****_way _****_it_**_'_**_s _****_easier, _****_at_****_ least_****_ I_****_ think_****_ so, _****_for_****_ you _****_to _****_imagine _****_what _****_you _****_want/think _****_they_****_ should _****_say_****_ to_****_ each_****_ other. _****_I _****_also _****_wanted _****_to _****_include _****_interactions _****_with _****_other_****_ characters _****_and _****_have _****_Chuck_****_ and_****_ Blair _****_interact_****_ in_****_ new _****_environments _****_to _****_test_****_ out_****_ the_****_ waters _****_of _****_where _****_they _****_now_****_ stand_****_ with_****_ each _****_other._**************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

**_Their_****_ friendship_****_ seems_****_ to _****_be _****_very _****_much _****_on _****_the _****_mend _****_and _****_Blair_**_'_**_s _****_finally _****_cracked. _****_How_****_ do _****_you_****_ think _****_she_**_'_**_ll _****_react_****_ in _****_the _****_morning _****_when _****_she_**_'_**_s _****_had _****_a_****_ full _****_night_****_ of sleep_****_ and_****_ finds_****_ herself _****_in _****_bed_****_ with _****_Chuck? _****_Do _****_you _****_think_****_ Chuck _****_will _****_be _****_able _****_to _****_resist _****_Blair _****_all _****_night _****_or _****_do _****_you _****_think _****_he_**_'_**_ll _****_give_****_ in? _****_Let _****_me_****_ know _****_what _****_you_****_ think _****_as _****_well _****_as_****_ where _****_you_**_'_**_d _****_like_****_ to _****_see _****_me _****_pick _****_up_****_ with _****_them_****_ in_****_ the _****_next_****_ chapter._**********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

**_One_****_ last_****_ note, _****_I_****_ had_****_ to_****_ get _****_in _****_about _****_their _****_coursework. _****_On _****_the _****_show, _****_I_**_'_**_m _****_pretty _****_sure_****_ they_**_'_**_re _****_all _****_still_****_ enrolled_****_ at _****_college _****_but _****_we_****_ never _****_see _****_them _****_doing_****_ anything _****_remotely _****_scholastic. _****_Me_****_ being pragmatic _****_saw _****_to _****_it _****_that _****_this _****_was _****_included._**************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

_**Also, **__**feel **__**free **__**to**__** message **__**me **__**or **__**leave **__**your**__** reactions **__**to **__**the **__**new**__** season **__**in**__** your **__**reviews.**__** I **__**love **__**hearing **__**what **__**other**__** people **__**think **__**of **__**it **__**and **__**I**__** do **__**make **__**sure **__**to **__**watch**__** clips **__**with **__**Blair**__** and**__** Chuck, **__**but **__**with **__**one**__** eye **__**closed **__**mind **__**you. **__**It**__**'**__**s **__**nice **__**to **__**know **__**that **__**I**__**'**__**m **__**not **__**the **__**only**__** one **__**obsessed **__**with **__**Chair **__**;)**_

**_Remember,_****_ more _****_reviews = _********_more _****_love = _********_faster _****_update _****_=) _****_And _****_I _****_love _****_detailed _****_reviews, _****_the _****_longer _****_the _****_better._**************************************************************************


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Author's Note: Thank you so much for your continued support of this story! I was overwhelmed with how many reviews the last chapter received and would be ecstatic if this chapter got that many ;)

This chapter took a lot longer than I thought because I was swamped at work and had to write two papers for grad school so most of my time's been accounted for. But that's no excuse! I made this chapter longer and there's more interaction with the other characters and we really start to see Chair progressing romantically.

This fifth season so far has really thrown me for a loop. While I don't think I've seen an entire episode, I did watch all the scenes with Chuck in them. I love his growth and really want him to be happy with Blair. The scenes with Blair I'll watch but the ones with the prince make me cringe. Louis has gotten really creepy and just needs to leave. As for the 5x10 promo, this episode looks like it has the potential to be epic. With Dan and Chuck becoming real friends, I love how Dan is helping Chuck win back Blair as he sees how much they love each other. Also, Duck's bromance is adorable and I'd like to see it continue.

Based on new spoilers I've read, here's my latest prediction. Blair will not marry Louis (come on, did anyone actually think that would happen?) and that scene of Leighton in a wedding dress in probably a dream (like Josh Schwartz alluded to). Blair loses the baby, again, did they really expect us to believe a baby would be in the picture for one of the main characters? Also, aside from Blair's hideous clothing as of late and some brief mentions of morning sickness and pregnancy, she's really not acting pregnant. Shouldn't she be having more than that one prenatal checkup? Whatever, Gossip Girl has never been realistic so why should they start now? With the time jump when the show comes back in January (another thing the producers confirmed) and *fingers crossed* we will finally be rid of that pansy prince and Chuck and Blair will be shagging their way to happily ever after.

What do you think will happen in the 100th episode? I'm hoping it's explosive and centers around Chair =*)

_The__ Way __We__ Were_ and _Of__ Course_ have been updated. I also have a new story, _Could __it __Be?_, that is posted. It's my twist on Blair being pregnant with Chuck's baby after 4x22. Basically, she freaked out, broke off her royal engagement, and went into hiding in the south of England. Chuck, out of his mind with where she might be, has spent a year looking for her and finds her only by coincidence in London. The story examines their dynamic as they come to terms with them as well as raising their daughter. I hope you'll check it out and leave a review ;)

Butterflydoll56 – Thank you! The drama will start to decrease but will also be there in normal relationship aspects, nothing explosive though. Can't wait to read your thoughts on this chapter.

Juicyxoxocharm16 – Thanks! Reviews do make me smile, as did yours. What was your favorite part of this chapter? Looking forward to reading what you think.

JadeWilliams – Thanks so much! Poor Blair finally cracked, thankfully she had Chuck there to pick up the pieces for her. So happy you like their progress and I can't wait to read what you think of them in this chapter.

Tigger23 – Thank you! Can't wait to read your thoughts on this chapter.

GGfan73104 – Thank you so much! Don't you just love cliffhangers? I'm so glad you enjoyed them spending time together and Chuck finally realizing how much he hurt Blair. As for what happens, you just need to read this chapter. I'm looking forward to reading what you think of it.

Trosev – Thank you! Chuck and Blair have come a long way, something I think therapy allowed them to do in a healthy way. Can't wait to read your thoughts on them in this chapter.

TriGemini – Thank you so much! This fifth season has thrown me for such a loop that I really hope they don't disappoint with the Chair endgame I can see happening in 5x10. Anyway, so happy that you enjoy this story and the progress Blair and Chuck are making. The topic of Bart will be discussed at a later time, because let's face it, that is a huge issue for Chuck. As for Blair's request, I believe Chuck does have some restraint, but resisting her like that is definitely painful for him. Also, they really shouldn't be making love until it's just that. The blonde makes an appearance in this chapter so be sure to let me know what you think. As always, I'm looking forward to your next review.

LeftWriter224 – Thank you! Talking should definitely happen before sex for Chuck and Blair. You just have to read on to find out ;) Can't wait to read your thoughts on this chapter.

Wrighthangal – Thanks! This chapter picks up the morning after so I can't wait to read what you thought of their behavior.

CBfan – Thank you so much! I'm so glad I'm not the only one who found it painful to watch Chair apart and Blair acting so desperate with Louis. There will definitely be Chair love in this story (and also in my other stories, wink, wink) so I hope you enjoy it. Looking forward to how you think this chapter went.

Katherinejablonski – Thanks so much! Finally, in both this story and now on the show, Chuck is fighting for Blair and not letting go. It only took him five years to realize this, but I digress. Can't wait to read your review on how you thought Chuck acted in this chapter.

Ellibells – Thank you so much! I couldn't resist Blair going to Chuck on Bart's anniversary, she always had a way of taking care of him when he needed it. And the shower scene, I'm glad to know you liked her desperation when she finally cracked. And Chuck being there for her was just what she needed. I'm looking forward to your next review and any suggestions you have for future chapters.

Katherine'TheChameleon'Jackson – Thanks! I tried to keep the characters true to the show to some degree while having them mature. I'm so happy you saw that. Can't wait to read your thoughts on this chapter.

Toshiko00288 – Thanks so much! The show also makes me want to cry my heart out for Chuck. I'm so glad this story made you feel better. I actually wrote it because this was what I wanted to happen. The chemistry between Chuck and Blair was always there and always will be, no matter what they may feel for each other. I can't wait to read your review on this chapter, be sure to let me know your favorite part.

Pty – Thank you so much! I'm glad you like the side conversations with the other characters, I like to keep it interesting by not having everything with Chair. These episodes are absolutely infuriating! I hate them, I love them, I'm scared to watch out of fear they are going to break our hearts again. Please tell me you have spoilers about happy Chuck and Blair when the season comes back in January, I need that! Looking forward to your review of this chapter as well as your awesome spoilers.

Fan – Thanks! Let me know your thoughts on this chapter.

88Mary88 – Thank you so much! I really wanted Chuck to step up and be there for Blair. I believe that he has it in him if only he were man enough to own it, which he is in my story ;) As for the show, I haven't been watching whole episodes because it really is frustrating to watch with the Louis factor. I hate him and he needs to be gone, which I think will happen soon enough. I'm thinking there won't be a Dair phase as it looks like Chair gets back together in 5x10 but you never know with this show. Blair might totally shut down when she miscarries or if the baby really was Chuck's, he might freak that she lied to him and bolt again. I hope that doesn't happen though. I agree with the Gilmore Girls comparison of Luke and Lorelai reuniting in the series finale. I always thought Chuck and Blair reminded me of Carrie and Mr. Big from Sex and the City because they always get drawn back to each other despite all the baggage and hurt between them. Can you see that too? Anyway, I'm glad you liked this chapter and I can't wait to read your review of this chapter.

Layla Waldorf-Bass – Thank you! Can't wait for what you think of this chapter.

A fan – Thanks so much! Blair and Chuck will always be family to each other. They are finally healing with the past behind them now and figuring out how to move on without rushing things. I'm looking forward to what you think of this chapter and can't wait to read your next review.

Chadyuck – Thanks! On the show, Blair is pregnant, but not in this fanfiction. Can't wait to read your thoughts on how they are in this chapter.

Frenchies – Thank you so much! I'm so happy you like that Blair and Chuck have boxed up their issues and are moving on. The shower scene was the climax for this story and it was very important that Chuck was able to be there for Blair. Sleeping together will definitely complicate things for them and that all gets discussed in order for them to continue to move on. I can't wait to read your review on this chapter.

Aliennut – Thank you! I would have loved to see the show delve into Chair's emotions like this. But, they didn't so I decided to write my take on it instead. I'm looking forward to what you think of this chapter and their continuing progress.

_Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl, or Ed Westwick – sigh. _

**December 22, 2011**

Chuck woke up to an empty bed and felt his heart sink. Blair fell asleep against him before he could give into her advances. While he knew it was wrong, if Blair persisted he would have made love to her last night, praying that she wouldn't regret it in the morning. Once she was asleep, he lay awake as he stroked her hair, his heart breaking for the state she was in but grateful that he was able to be there to help her through it.

His mind was spinning as he sat up, hoping that she was downstairs and not off somewhere he couldn't find her. He was caught by surprise when he saw her walk through the door with a breakfast tray and a smile on her face.

"Good morning," she said brightly as she set the tray at the end of the bed. "I was hoping to be back before you woke up."

"It's okay, you didn't really leave," he told her as he looked at what she had for them. "You made me breakfast?"

"I made coffee just the way you like it," Blair told him as she handed him the mug and plated a croissant. "The food was ordered in."

"No macaroons?" he questioned as he surveyed the tray and didn't see her favorite treat.

"Nightstand," she said as he reached over and felt for the box.

"Macaroon," he offered, opening the box and having her take one before he could feed it to her. "Or you could take it yourself."

"We need to talk about what happened last night," Blair said as she licked some chocolate off her fingers, her mouth entrancing him while he tried to focus on what she was saying. "Can you stay or do you need to get to work?"

"I can stay," he told her as he sat back against the headboard with his cup of coffee. "The office is effectively closed for the holidays so it would have just been me going into an empty building to do work that can wait."

"Thank you for not taking advantage of me last night," she told him, sitting on the middle of the bed and tucking her feet underneath her. "Everything's finally catching up with me and I think last night I may have cracked."

"What can I do for you?" he asked he nudged her with his knee. "There has to be something you need."

"Tell me why you stopped by last night," Blair needed to know. "I'm grateful you did but your timing was impeccable. Are you having me followed or something?"

"No, nothing like that," he told her, shaking his head at the thought. "Don't laugh, but I had a bad feeling. You've been running yourself down and I was afraid this would happen."

"Please don't say 'I told you so.' You were right saying that I took on too much but I had to keep my mind busy," she said as he tilted his head before reaching for a piece of crumb cake. "If I had too much time on my hands, I would have gone crazy with our therapy sessions."

"How so?" he asked.

"Being in such close proximity to you has been torturous," Blair told him. "I needed to keep busy so I wouldn't allow myself to give into you. I'm really glad we've worked through everything, it's such a relief because now I don't have to fight being near you any more."

"Does this mean we can spend more time together?" Chuck asked. "Because you've kind of been avoiding me."

"You picked up on that, huh?" she questioned as he just nodded. "It's not why you think."

"Why is it then?" he wanted to know.

"Because I want us to get tested and don't know how to ask," she told him.

"Tested?" he asked with confusion. "For what?"

"STDs," she told him as she studied him over her cup of coffee.

"See, that's where my hesitation stems from," she said when she saw Chuck freeze and the color drain from his face. "I don't even know what we are and the only thing I can think about is when we're going to make love again and how I don't want to worry about it."

"We're Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck," he told her. "You know I don't want anyone other than you."

"Does that mean we're back together? I mean, we've worked through everything in therapy and boxed it all up. But are we still in limbo?" she clarified.

"Ready to take the plunge with me again, Waldorf?" he smirked.

"Are you ready to be my boyfriend?" Blair smiled, putting her cup down.

His smirk deepened as he took her hands and brought them to his lips. "I'm ready," he told he as he kissed her hands. "Are you?"

"I am," she smiled, "I realize that I can still be Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass' girlfriend."

"It's not like people won't see me as Blair Waldorf's boyfriend," he told her. "Which is something I enjoy telling them."

"I know. And while I feel bad for blue balling you, I'm really glad we didn't go there yet," she said, looking away from him before she spoke again.

"Don't say anything until I look at you," she told him as she reached for her coffee and took a deep breath. "I want us to get tested before we make love again. It's what we did when we first started dating and if we're together again, it's the only way. Condoms are for when you aren't monogamous. I'm on the Pill and if we only want to be with each other, I don't see the problem."

"There is no problem with that," he said slowly as she looked back at him through her lashes. "They tested me in rehab so I know I'm clean. What's another blood test?"

"Thank you," she said, "I know how you hate needles."

"I do, but I get why you want me to have one," he said with a shrug. If he were in her shoes, he'd also suggest he get tested after all that happened. "It's no big deal."

"I'll get tested as well, it's only fair," she told him. "I can set it up for early January if you're available."

He nodded, "Sounds good. Now to completely change the subject and not think about needles, what should we do today? I'm all yours."

"I was going to spend it sleeping," she told him. "I think I could probably sleep until school starts again."

"Why don't you then?" he asked. "What else do you have to do?"

"Well, I leave tomorrow night to visit with Daddy and Roman," she said. "Eleanor and Cyrus will be there for Christmas and I'll spend the week with them. When I get back, I'm going to continue studying for the LSATs and start reading my textbooks for the spring term."

"What are your plans for Christmas?" she asked when it hit her that this was his least favorite time of year. "Do you have any?"

"Work," he told her, his entire body tensing and not realizing where she was going with her question. "Lily asked me to go to Martinique with them but I told her no. I hate the holidays, always have."

"Maybe you'd change your mind if we spent Christmas together this year," she said, liking the idea of spending her second favorite holiday with Chuck. "Would you consider coming with me to France? I'd love it if you were there. And you don't have to stay the week if you need to get back to the city."

When he remained silent, she started to backpedal, "Forget I asked, you're busy. I shouldn't have mentioned it."

"I'd like to," he said as he reached for her hand.

"You don't have to," she told him as she looked down at their hands. "We're fine if you don't. I won't push it. You probably should stay here, work is more important."

Blair was still rambling when Chuck took her hands in his and kneeled in front of her. "I want to go," he smiled. "I'm going, end of discussion. Don't even think of retracting your invitation now, Waldorf."

"We leave tomorrow night at nine," she said, looking at him and seeing the genuine smile on his face still there. "Can you be ready?"

"I can, now come here," he told her as he pulled her to him and she got under the covers, his arms wrapping around her while she settled against him. "Much better, this was always my favorite part of being with you," Chuck said as she nuzzled against his chest and he held her tighter.

"Cuddling?" she questioned with a nervous laugh. "I would have thought it was the sex."

"The sex with you was the best I've ever had," he said with a small smile. "But this was even better because it was more intimate."

To anyone else, cuddling would never be considered more intimate than sex. Chuck was different though, he hated vulnerability and holding Blair after making love with her always made him feel exposed. It was also during their post-coital bliss that he would be most open with his feelings for her and they would talk about anything and everything in the comfort of each other's arms.

"I know," Blair told him as she looked up to find him looking at her with love in his eyes. "See, we're already better than we were before. You're expressing your feelings without me having to bribe you."

"Feel free to bribe me however and whenever you want, that's still okay," he smirked as he stroked her hair.

"I will, at some point," she said while stifling a yawn.

Seeing her exhaustion, he asked, "Are you going to be okay? It's scares me to see how you're running yourself ragged."

"This is just temporary," she told him as her fingers played with the top buttons of his shirt. "Things will settle down now that I don't need so many distractions from us."

"I was thinking, with our therapy sessions on hold, you and I should make a point of seeing each other on a regular basis," he suggested.

"Like going on dates?" she questioned, looking up at him.

"That, but also just spending time with each other," Chuck said. "You seem to be on your own a lot."

"It's not that big a deal, I've been busy. Besides, I have Nate and Dan that I spend time with," she said as her arm wrapped around him. "I live on my own here. My parents are back in France, Dorota lives with her family in Queens, and Serena moved home with Lily. The alone time has really given me the chance to grow up. It's been good."

"As much as I'm glad to hear that, I still don't like it," he told her. "My girlfriend shouldn't by herself so much."

"You're already using that word, Bass," she smiled. "Do you like it?"

"I love it," he smirked, "And you."

Blair leaned up to kissed him but started yawing before her lips could reach his. "You're exhausted," he said. "Sleep, I'll be here when you wake up."

"You better believe you will be," she told him as he chuckled and her grip on him tightened. "I'll be upset if I wake up alone. I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up."

"Don't worry about it," Chuck told her, giving her a gentle squeeze and kissing the top of her head. "You weren't skipping out on me."

"No, I wasn't," she said with a smile, "I was getting breakfast."

"Are you going to do that tomorrow morning?" he asked.

"Are you spending the night?" she countered, her eyes closed and her breathing getting slower. "Because it's not even noon and I have no plan on getting out of bed until tomorrow."

"Spending the day in bed with you, there's nothing to think about," he told her. "I'll take care of breakfast in the morning, I'll even make you a cappuccino."

"I like that," she said with another yawn, sighing contentedly as his hand ran up and down her back.

**December 23, 2011**

Chuck left that afternoon after they spent the day lounging in bed. He wanted to take care of a few things for work as well as packing for their trip. Blair took that time to call Roman and make sure it was okay that she invited her boyfriend for Christmas.

"It's so good to hear from you, ma cherie," Roman exclaimed. "How are you these days?"

"I'm good," Blair said. "How are you and daddy?"

"We're looking forward to your visit for Christmas," he told her. "Your father isn't here now but he will be back in a few hours."

"I actually have a huge favor to ask, Roman," she said. "I invited Chuck to come with me to the villa for Christmas. I should have asked you and daddy first but it was very spur of the moment and I didn't think. It won't be a problem, will it?"

"Of course not," Roman exclaimed happily. "But I want all the details of you two getting back together. Oh, I'm so excited for you, my dear."

"Thank you," Blair said. "It was a lot of therapy to get us to where we are today. All of our issues were aired out and we talked about everything. There was a lot of yelling and tears, but we've put it all behind us now. It was difficult but I'm happy we did it. Thanks again for always being available to talk with me, that really kept me sane."

"Anything for you, Blair," he told her genuinely. "More details, what was the tipping point for the reconciliation?"

"We've decided to box up our issues now that we've discussed them and not to bring them up anymore," she said. "I'm not sure where things will go from here but I'm looking forward to being back together with Chuck."

"This is wonderful news, Blair," he told her. "Relationships are messy, I should know. But it's the ones that you fight for, regardless of the hurt and pain you may feel, that are the most worth it, which you and Charles realize."

"We do," she said. "I really am happy, and so glad that he can spend Christmas with us."

"Leave everything to me," he said happily. "I will talk with your father and don't worry. This Christmas will be fantastic."

"I know it will," Blair said as she heard the elevator. "Chuck is here now, I'll see you soon."

Blair couldn't believe how giddy she felt, when she and Chuck were dating before he found excuses to avoid going to France with her. Now that they were moving past everything and on their way to her father's for the week, she couldn't help but start to envision their entire future together once more.

"Are you ready?" she asked him with a smile when he stopped on the stairs empty handed and the smile was gone from her face.

"My bags are at the Palace," he told her. "I thought we could stop by Lily's apartment before we left."

"Serena put you up to this," Blair said, her eyes narrowing as she made her way down the stairs and stopped on the step above where he was.

"Blair, she misses you," he said. "And I know you miss her. She's your best friend. If you could forgive me, I'm certain you can forgive her."

"You always have been the one to help us patch things up," she told him. "Fine, I will talk with Serena. Are you happy now?"

"Not as happy as I'll be when I get you alone on the jet," he smirked.

"We will be sleeping, just sleeping," Blair told him, "You do know that?"

"I get that you want to wait, I do," he said. "But are you telling me that making out and feeling each other up is off the table until we make love again?"

"Well, I could ask you for complete celibacy," she suggested, pressing up against him as he tried not to show his complete horror at the idea. "However, I'm not going to."

"Oh, thank God," he breathed, his arms wrapping around her as he turned them so her back was against the wall and he was still pressed against her. "You have no idea how much I've missed being this close to you."

"No sex of any kind, though," Blair said. "And don't try to take my clothes off."

"Is this your way of delaying our gratification?" he asked with an amused smirk.

"Absolutely," she grinned, "Just think how much better it will be when we finally make love. All this pent up passion released as we take our time getting to know each other again."

"Trust me, I think about it all the time," he told her, smirking and still pressed against her as she felt his pants getting tighter.

"That is telling me we should get going," Blair smiled as she pushed him back and started down the stairs. "My bags are with the doorman so all I need to do is get my coat and purse."

After helping her with her coat, they made their way out to the limo. She paused when Arthur opened the door to the limo.

"What's wrong, did you forget something?" Chuck asked her, not realizing that his limo still gave her butterflies as she was always brought back to that night of their first time together.

"No, let's go," she told him as she touched his arm before getting into the limo and sliding across the seat.

He didn't realize her discomfort until they started moving and her purse was between them as she crossed her ankles. "We've had some good times in here," he smirked, wanting to diffuse the tension.

"We did," Blair said as she looked at him. "Who are we seeing? Will everyone be there?"

"Lily, Serena, Eric," he told her. "I also think Rufus and Dan will be there as well."

"Good, good," she said.

They were quiet the rest of the short ride to the van der Humphrey's. Once inside the apartment, Serena pulled Blair into her room while Chuck took a seat in the living room with Eric and Lily. Closing her door as they both sat on the bed, Serena started her questions.

"So, you and Chuck are going away together for Christmas," Serena said as she wiggled her eyebrows. "That's a big step."

"We're visiting my parents," Blair told her as she rolled her eyes.

"But you're back together," the blonde gushed. "You are back together, right?"

"Yes, we are," Blair smiled. "Which brings me to why I'm here. I think it's about time we move forward."

Serena's eyes lit up as Blair continued, "You and I have weathered worse than you siding with Chuck. Besides, I chose Chuck too."

"That you did," Serena grinned.

"Do you still want to be my best friend?" Blair smirked.

Serena squealed as she leaned forward to hug her friend tightly, "Of course, I never stopped. Now tell me everything, how exactly did you two get back together?"

"Well, lots of therapy for one thing," Blair laughed before giving Serena the vague details. She and Chuck still wanted to keep their relationship this time around between them and private for the most part.

Blair left out the part of her breakdown the night before because it wasn't her finest moment but she did tell Serena how Chuck stopped by and they spent their time talking and sleeping. Serena seemed skeptical about the just sleeping part but let it go because Blair never was on to hide her sex life.

Startled when she saw the time, they made their way back out. Lily pulled Serena aside as Blair made her way into the living room.

"We need to go," Blair said as she walked over to Chuck and sat next to him. "Hey, Eric, you ready for a beach Christmas?"

Eric rolled his eyes and told her, "I'd prefer a snowy Christmas in New York but whatever. I'll go wherever. At least you two will have cold weather, maybe even snow."

"No snow yet but maybe next week," Blair said before looking at Chuck's watch. "We do need to go, not to rush out or anything but the weather could change at any moment."

"Leaving so soon?" Serena pouted as she and Lily joined them right as Blair and Chuck stood up.

"We need to be at the heliport in twenty minutes," Chuck told them. "Getting across town at this hour should be interesting."

"They'll wait for you," Lily said with a smile while giving Chuck a hug. "Merry Christmas, dears."

"Merry Christmas, Lily," Blair said as the older woman pulled her in for a hug.

"It is so good to see you," Lily told her. "Have a wonderful holiday."

"Thank you," Chuck told his stepmother, "You too, enjoy the sun."

"I always do," Lily said as she walked with them to the elevator.

"Hey," Dan exclaimed as he and Rufus stepped out of the elevator to see Blair and Chuck waiting to get on. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," Blair told him as she gave him a hug while Chuck stood awkwardly next to her.

"Where are you two off to?" Dan asked.

"France," Blair smiled, "Chuck is coming with me to daddy's villa for Christmas. We're late as it is, though. I'll call you soon."

"Well, well," Dan grinned as Chuck's hand went to Blair's lower back as he guided her into the elevator. "Have a great Christmas, Chuck."

"You too, Humphrey," Chuck said as the doors closed.

"I'm telling you, Chuck Bass is starting to like me," Dan announced as Rufus and Lily shared a look and Eric and Serena laughed.

"He talks to you for Blair's sake, nothing more," Eric said. Dan just shrugged before going into the kitchen.

**December 24, 2011**

Their flight was uneventful, there was no turbulence and after an hour or so of fooling around, both Blair and Chuck fell asleep against each other. It was only when the pilot announced that the wheels were dropping and descent was imminent did they wake up. Harold had a car waiting for them and the ride to the villa was a short one. When they pulled up the windy driveway and stopped at the villa, everyone was outside waiting for them.

After the customary greetings were exchanged, they all made their way inside, Roman and Blair leading the way.

"You and Charles with be staying in your room," Roman said with a wink as he took her bags into the house. "You're welcome."

"That's not necessary," Blair told him quickly. With her and Chuck waiting until they got tested to make love again, she didn't want to tempt fate by sharing a bed with him again. "I'm sure daddy and Eleanor aren't happy about that arrangement."

"I talked with them and they have strict instructions not to say a word," he told her with finality. "If you two need anything, just ask me."

"Thank you," she said as Chuck and her father walked over to them.

"Blair bear," Harold exclaimed as he embraced his daughter and she happily returned the hug. "I am so thrilled to have you with us. And it's so nice to have Charles joining us."

"Thank you for your hospitality, Mr. Waldorf," Chuck said again. "Especially on such short notice."

"Don't mention it," Harold told him with a smile. "Anything to see Blair happy."

"Mrs. Rose," Chuck said as he extended his hand to Blair's mother. She was glaring at him and it unnerved him to no end. "It's good to see you again."

"Charles," she said coldly while taking his hand and squeezing a little too tight, "How was the flight?"

"Very good," he told her, fighting the urge to shake out his hand from how hard she shook it. "And you, how are things at the atelier?"

"Busy, as they should be," Eleanor said, which garnered a stern look from Blair for her mother's treatment of Chuck.

"Where's Cyrus?" Blair asked when she didn't see her stepfather anywhere.

"He's in South Africa," Eleanor told her. "Aaron has a showing for his latest photographs and Cyrus wanted to be there to support him. He sends his love and wanted me to tell you we'll visit you in New York early next year."

"We should join them, Harold," Roman said with glee. "Being in New York for Blair's birthday made me realize how much I missed the city. You won't see us as intruding, will you, Eleanor?"

"No, not at all," Eleanor told him, not really caring about that and wanting to talk alone with Blair. "If you show Charles upstairs, I'd like to have a word with Blair."

All the men shifted their gaze to Blair, who nodded and said, "I'll be right up."

"Blair, are you sure you want to open yourself up to him again?" Eleanor asked her daughter once they were alone. "After everything he's done to you."

"This time is different, mother," Blair said. "Chuck's different, I'm different. Besides, what's love without a little risk?"

"Is he worth that much of a risk?" Eleanor questioned.

"He is," Blair smiled. "I love him."

"But is he the man you need? The man who will carry you through when times get tough?" her mother continued.

"He's the man I want, nothing else matters if I don't have him to share it with," Blair said as Eleanor looked at her daughter.

"Is Chuck capable of being that man for you?" Eleanor wanted to know. "Because all I want is for you to be happy, darling."

"And I am, with Chuck," Blair told her. "Please, be nice to him."

"I've been nothing but nice to him," Eleanor said haughtily, which raised an eyebrow raise from Blair. "Alright, I could be a bit nicer to the boy."

"That's all I ask," Blair said with a smile as she made her way to the stairs.

She got settled in her room with Chuck and they both changed for dinner before going downstairs to enjoy the feast Harold and Roman prepared for them. Eleanor was still cold towards Chuck but didn't antagonize him like she wanted to. Instead, their conversation revolved around Blair's crazy schedule and what projects Chuck was working on with Bass Industries.

After dessert was served, everyone made their way to their separate rooms. Blair was already dressed in her nightgown and under the covers when Chuck came out of the bathroom.

"If you're uncomfortable, I can sleep on the couch," Chuck told her when he saw her tense.

"Don't be ridiculous," she said as she motioned for him to join her. "We're both adults with some willpower. Besides, with my parents down the hall and able to walk in on us at any moment, I don't want to chance our reunion like that."

"I'd like to leave with everything I came with, thank you very much," he smirked as he got into bed and pulled her to him. "Your mother is just looking for a reason to castrate me."

"She wouldn't do that. It would be messy and she prefers not to get her hands dirty," Blair grinned. "I saw her take you aside after dinner, what did she say to you?"

"Not much, just that she still has her reservations about me," he said. "Which is understandable after all that's happened."

"I don't have any," she smiled at him. "I love you, Chuck. We're going to work this time, I know it."

"Me too," Chuck said with a start when he felt her feet tangle with his. "Your feet are freezing."

"And yours are warm," she told him, her grip on him getting tighter. "So don't think of moving them."

"Wasn't planning on it," he said, kissing the top of her head as they continued talking until they fell asleep.

**December 31, 2011**

"You looked so sexy skating today," Chuck rasped as his lips teased Blair with kisses that he kept pulling back from.

"It would have been hotter if you joined me on the ice," she told him, her leg hooking around his hips while his hand ran up her side. "We could have heated things up."

"I do have an image to uphold," he said with a smirk as he kissed her neck, his hand squeezing her side. "Chuck Bass falling on his ass wouldn't help it."

"Wouldn't have happened," she purred in his ear, "I'd never let you fall on my watch."

"Is that so?" he asked. When she nodded in response, he said, "Why's that?"

"Because I love you," she smiled. "And I've been skating since I could walk."

"Maybe next time," he told her as his eyebrows quirked up and he gently nipped at her neck. "For now, no more talking."

She moaned as her head rolled back and he kissed across her clavicle. "God, you're beautiful," he breathed, her smile turning into a gasp when he flipped them so she was on top. "I love when you wear jewelry I gave you."

Blair had on the ruby earrings he gave her for her birthday as well as the matching ruby pendant he gave her for Christmas. "You have good taste," she told him, gasping as he ran his tongue up her neck while making her squirm.

His arm was around her back as he sat up only to hear her phone ring. He groaned and fell back, reaching for the phone to see who was interrupting them.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but you should take that," Chuck said while handing Blair the phone. "She'll keep calling if you don't."

"Which is why I'm turning it off," she told him as she silenced her phone before turning back to him. "I'll call her back later."

"Blair, I thought you two were good now," he said in his stepsister's defense.

"We are, but I'd rather continue to make out with you. I can call Serena or I can go back to kissing you," Blair said, straddling his waist and nipping at his ear. "But I can't do both, it's your choice."

"I choose this," he told her as he captured her mouth once more. "How I've missed your lips."

"They've missed you too, Bass," she said as she started to gently suck at his neck. She had him moaning as she continued, "I do believe I'm going to leave my mark on you."

"Wouldn't be the first time," he rasped, her teeth grazing the skin under his ear. "And I don't mind the possessiveness."

She giggled as she continued her assault on the sensitive skin near his neck. As soon as she paused, he took over and began peppering her neck with kisses. They were on their sides when Blair pulled back with a smile.

"I forgot how winded you get when kissing is all you're doing," Blair breathed. "How are you?"

"I'm good," Chuck told her as he sat against the headboard and she settled against him. They were quiet for a few minutes as they caught their breath before she spoke.

"What are your plans for that hotel deal?" she asked, her hand resting on his chest. "Has it paid off for you yet?"

"I don't know," he said. "I'm going over to see the renovations in two weeks and to assess where we are. If everything is on track, bookings should open within the month and the grand opening can be for the end of summer."

"That's great, Chuck," she told him as she turned her head to look at him.

"Will you go with me?" he asked. "You don't have school and I'd really like it if you were with me."

"Are you going by jet?" she asked coyly.

"Is there any other way to travel?" he smirked. "Will you say yes if I tell you the spa at this hotel is staffed with only the best aestheticians?"

"Will you be my masseuse?" she grinned, curling into him as her top leg draped over his.

"Absolutely," he told her fiercely as he pulled her to him tighter. "I don't want anyone else touching you like that."

"This should be fun," Blair told him. "But I'm not all that distracted, tell me what we're doing for New Year's?" Blair asked as it was already late afternoon and she had no clue what they were doing.

"It's a surprise, Waldorf," he said. "You won't know until it happens."

"How am supposed to dress appropriately if I don't know where we're going?" she pouted.

"There's no need to worry about that, I've already taken care of your outfit," Chuck smirked as his eyebrows went up and his lips silenced hers before she could retort.

**_Please_****_ review _****_if _****_you'd _****_like _****_me_****_ to_****_ continue._****_ And_****_ if _****_I_****_ haven't_****_ heard_****_ from_****_ you _****_yet,_****_ leave _****_a _****_review._****_ Lots _****_of _****_you_****_ have _****_favorited _****_or_****_ alerted_****_ this _****_story _****_but _****_have _****_yet _****_to _****_leave_****_ a _****_comment. _****_I'd_****_ love _****_to _****_hear _****_your _****_thoughts_****_ and_****_ it's _****_very _****_easy_****_ to _****_do, _****_not _****_to _****_mention _****_it _****_would _****_really _****_make _****_me _****_smile _****_=D_**********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

**_What _****_did _****_you _****_think? _****_Did _****_you _****_like _****_playful _****_Chair_****_ and_****_ seeing_****_ them_****_ trying _****_to _****_go _****_slow _****_in _****_their _****_newfound_****_ relationship?_******************************************************************************

**_Would_****_ you_****_ like_****_ to _****_see_****_ their_****_ New_****_ Year_**_'_**_s _****_celebration _****_or _****_just _****_read _****_about _****_it _****_in _****_hindsight?_****_ Let _****_me _****_know_****_. I_**_'_**_m _****_also _****_writing_****_ the_****_ scene _****_where _****_they _****_get _****_tested _****_for _****_STDs _****_so _****_expect _****_some_****_ awkwardness _****_;)_**************************************************************************************************************************************************

**_The_****_ next _****_chapter _****_will _****_be_****_ rated _****_M,_****_ can _****_you _****_guess _****_how_****_ I_**_'_**_m _****_setting _****_up_****_ their _****_romantic _****_reunion?_**********************************************************************

**_I_****_ don_**_'_**_t _****_have _****_much _****_to_****_ say_****_ here _****_as _****_I_****_ ranted _****_quite _****_a_****_ bit _****_up_****_ top _****_but _****_as _****_always, _****_I_**_'_**_d _****_love _****_to_****_ hear_****_ your _****_thoughts _****_on_****_ this_****_ story _****_and/or _****_the _****_show_****_ in_****_ a _****_review_****_ or _****_a_****_ private_****_ message. _****_This _****_100_**_th _****_episode_****_ has_****_ me _****_really _****_excited _****_so _****_I_****_ hope _****_they _****_don_**_'_**_t_****_ disappoint_****_ when_****_ the _****_show_****_ returns _****_in _****_January. _****_Dark_****_ Knight _****_FTW!_********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************_Song recommendation - "So Soon" by Marianas Trench reminds me so much of Chuck and Blair's relationship that I can't hear the song without Chair clips running through my mind, LOL! Btw, I saw that band live last week and they are awesome, quite a few of their songs remind me of GG.  
><em>********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

**_Remember,_****_ more _****_reviews = _********_more_****_ love = _********_faster _****_update_****_=) _****_And _****_I_****_ love _****_detailed_****_ reviews, _****_the _****_longer _****_the _****_better._**************************************************************************


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Author's Note: Thank you so much for your continued support of this story! Every time there's a review, favorite, or alert, I get a huge smile on my face =)

The rating for this story was bumped up to M. After finally working through all their issues, Chair's reunion is to be intense and drawn out ;) I hope you enjoy it!

A special thanks to MegamiTenchi for helping me with parts of this chapter =D

Trosev – Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed their shared Christmas, and them in the same room was all Roman's doing, not Harold, LOL! You finally seem them together in this chapter, in every sense of the word =*) Can't wait to read your thoughts on this chapter.

Ellibells – Thanks so much! They show more restraint in this chapter but do finally give in. And the testing scene was fun to write, as well as the tension with Eleanor. I'm looking forward to your thoughts on New Year's and their romantic reunion.

Fasaggy – Thank you! My Chair has a bit more restraint than the show's version. They're also very careful about getting things right this time around and not rushing anything, and that includes physically. Looking forward to what you think of them in this chapter.

Wrighthangal – Thanks so much! I have friendship scenes in this chapter as well as CB scenes so I hope you enjoy those as well. Is it wrong that I like when Eleanor gives Chuck what for? They'll be more with those two in future chapters. Can't wait to read your thoughts for this chapter.

Aliennut – Thanks! I'm smiling that fanfiction is helping to keep your Chair love alive, which is hard to do with the show in its current state =/ Looking forward to what you liked in this chapter.

NelenaCalden – Thank you! I'm glad you found this story as well =) Can't wait to read your review of this chapter.

GGfan73104 – Thanks! More progress in this chapter. Looking forward to your thoughts.

Pty – Thank you! I don't think I spared any detail with their reunion ;) There's a subtle Duck reference in this chapter, can you find it? Can't wait to read your next review and any new spoilers you find.

LeftWriter224 – Thanks so much! Playful Chair is my favorite =) We do see more Eleanor and Chuck in future chapters but this one focuses on Chair and their friends. Looking forward to your review.

Blairheather – Thanks! Chuck really did need to correct himself, which was why I wrote this story. And I'm happy that he's finally doing that on the show. Can't wait to read what you think of this newest chapter.

RauhlPrincess – Thank you! Let me know your thoughts on this chapter.

TriGemini – Thank you so much! Slow is good for Chair, but by this point slow is starting to kill them =p There's a slight Duck reference in this chapter, do you see it? As always, looking forward to your next review.

Frenchies – Thank you! Sleeping together for them needed to wait, I thought it was cute how they spent time in bed just talking and cuddling, and am happy you did too! CB tenderness is desperately needed on the show, hopefully soon, fingers crossed. Can't wait to read your thoughts on them in this chapter.

88Mary88 – Thanks so much! I'm so happy you like the progression of this story, especially how Chuck has stepped up to be there for Blair. I do love Roman, and Cyrus will make a reappearance soon! Looking forward to your thoughts on this chapter.

_Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl, or Ed Westwick – sigh. _

**December 31, 2011**

_Who knew Chuck Bass was a romantic? After watching his Queen ice skate for most of the morning, they were spotted walking through the Park. Holding hands and unable to contain their smiles, could they finally be together again? Only time can tell if this power couple will finally make it work or if they'll crash and burn once again. Maybe I'm getting soft but I think I'm rooting for this to be it for them. As always, I'll keep you posted. You know you love me, XOXO, Gossip Girl. _

**XOXO**

Chuck had Blair's outfit for that night at his apartment so they went there first. He had it laid out on the guest bed for her while he went to his room to get changed. Chuck was done before she was so he waited in the living room while she got dressed.

He was proud of the night he planned for them, it was in the works for weeks and the only thing left was for her to do was let him take the lead. The shopping experience for her outfit was more stressful than he expected. Bergdorf's stayed open for him and Chuck had the place to himself as he shopped for the perfect outfit for Blair. After an hour of looking and finally getting the saleswomen to leave him alone, he decided on a mint green, strapless silk dress that reminded him of the night she danced for him at Victrola and then gave him her virginity in the back of his limo.

Because Chuck didn't want to tempt himself or her with them waiting to make love, he had a pair of her favorite wool stockings from Wolford in black with matching pumps waiting for her to change into as well.

"Maybe you can help me remember why this dress feels so familiar?" she asked, snapping him out of his reverie when she came sauntering down the hallway to where he was.

"Perhaps it's the color?" he smirked, his hands at her hips to draw her to him. Letting his hands wander to the small of her back and digging his fingers into the material of her dress, Chuck kissed her neck. Eliciting a soft moan from her, Blair melted into his arms as he lips greedily attacked her soft skin.

When he pulled back and rested his forehead against hers with a smile, he spoke, "You ready to leave?"

Nodding, her fingers reached up to straighten his bowtie, noting it was the exact shade as her dress. "We match, I always liked that with us," she smiled.

Kissing the side of her face, he reached into his pocket. Her hand stopped his when she saw the blindfold. "That better be new," she said with a frown, not wanting something touching her that had been used on one of his former playmates.

"It's from our game days," he told her with a smirk, gently turning her around before bringing her body flush with his and covering her eyes with the silk. "Just because we've stopped toying with each other doesn't mean we can't still have some fun."

"Why are you blindfolding me?" she asked with a shaky breath at how close they were. "My condition to be with you again hasn't changed."

"I know," Chuck assured her, "But I don't want you to know where I'm taking you. It's a surprise."

"Don't let me fall, Bass, these are four inch heels I'm wearing," she told him. "I'm trusting you."

"Good, because you can," he said softly as he kissed her neck. "Let's go."

She went to reach for his arm but he surprised her by lifting her into his arms. "No chance of you falling now," he told her.

"So you say," she teased, nibbling on her ear as he remained quiet as they took the elevator down to the limo.

"I really can't take this off," she asked, "You can find some way to distract me from noticing where we're going."

"Nice try, we're almost there," he said.

When the limo stopped, Chuck waited until Arthur had the door opened before helping Blair out. They took one more elevator ride up and then it was time for Chuck to remove the blindfold.

Opening her eyes, she noted that they were in an empty apartment that had amazing views of the East River out of the floor to ceiling windows. "What is this place?" she asked.

"Our New Year's Eve retreat," he said, motioning for her to join him as he took a seat on the duvets set up on the floor. "The fireworks start soon. "

"You expect me to sit on the floor?" she questioned as her lip curled in distaste.

"Come on, Waldorf," he said as he took her hand. "This is very expensive bedding, you won't get dirty. And I have treats for you."

Blair went through the assortment of food he had prepared as he poured them champagne. Dipping a strawberry into the bowl of whipped cream, she went to feed it to him but ate it herself at the last moment. Playful teasing ensued with the food when the fireworks starting interrupted them.

"Happy New Year," Chuck smirked as he leaned in to kiss her, knowing this year was going to be much better than the previous one for them.

**January 2, 2012**

Instead of facing the embarrassment of her and Chuck being seen anywhere to get tested, Blair arranged for a doctor to meet them at the penthouse to draw their blood.

"Stop pacing," Blair said as she sat on the chaise. "This is nothing to be worried about. Or do you actually have something?" she asked with panic starting to show itself in her.

"No, I told you I don't have anything," he told her with agitation. "I'm clean."

"Then why are you so nervous?" she asked.

"I'm not nervous," Chuck said as he wrung out his hands and failed to hide his fear of needles. "I just want this over as soon as possible, that's all."

Blair smiled at how cute he looked and walked over to him. "This will be over quickly," she said, taking his face in her hands to still him and get her boyfriend to look at her. "I can go first, show you it's not that big a deal."

"No, I want to go first," he told her quickly, "Get it over with."

"Okay," she said as she rested her hand on his arm and leaned up to kiss his cheek. She could feel him shaking slightly when she added, "This will be over soon, unlike our reunion which will be very time-consuming."

Chuck was starting to smirk when the elevator doors opened and he blanched suddenly.

"Good evening," he said, setting his bag on the table and wasting no time. "Which one of you is first?"

"Me," Chuck said as he took a seat and glanced at Blair.

After two failed attempts, the doctor was finally able to draw Chuck's blood. Blair was less anxious with the process, chatting with the doctor about when their results would be back as if they were talking over coffee.

"Thank you," she said when he told her they'd be back within the week and walking him to the elevator. "I appreciate you making a house call for us."

"Of course, Miss Waldorf, enjoy your evening," he told her with a nod as he stepped into the elevator and she made her way back to Chuck.

"We're one step closer, Bass," she purred, sitting in his lap as he played with the bandage on his arm. "Stop pouting, because you look incredibly sexy when you do."

"That doctor is terrible," Chuck stated. "It took him three tries to get a vein."

"You pulled away the first two times and he lost it," she told him gently. "But it's over now. Have you planned for our reunion yet?" she asked. "I keep thinking about it."

"We get the results back the day we leave for Dubai," he said with a smirk as his arms circled her waist. "Do you think we should wait to get back and christen my new apartment or shall we christen the new hotel?"

"Considering I really don't want to wait longer than we have to, the hotel and then your apartment when we get back," Blair told him. "Is it okay that we'll be sharing a room over there? Will that look bad for you?"

"No, it won't," he said, his hands on her lower back. "Going on a working holiday with my girlfriend won't look bad at all. Picking up a prostitute while I'm there, now that would look bad."

Her eyes widened when he continued, "Which I wouldn't do, and haven't in about two years."

That comment completely changed the mood between them and Chuck realized it as soon as the words left his mouth. Starting to backpedal, he said, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. You're the only woman I want, and I can't wait to make love with you again."

"I know that," she told him as she pulled away and started to make her way to the staircase. "I still have another practice test to take tonight, you can see yourself out."

She knew he meant nothing by it but resonated within her nonetheless. The playfulness that was between them was ruined and Blair wanted to get upstairs before he could see how upset she had gotten. "Soon, Bass, very soon," she told him in as sexy a tone as she could muster before hurrying up to her room.

Chuck was never dense when it came to Blair's feelings. He may have ignored them or chosen not to address them, but he was always aware of how she felt. He shouldn't have mentioned being with a prostitute now that they were finally back together. Sighing at his misstep, he made his way around the curve of the staircase and down the hall to her bedroom.

"If this is what the LSAT entails, I may start studying for them with you," he said as he stood in the doorframe to her bedroom and saw her under the covers with a box of macaroons next to her.

"I'm tired, Chuck," she told him, hiding his journal under the covers as she was unsure if he spotted it. "You should go home, you have work in the morning and I have plans."

"After we talk about this," he told her, making his way to sit on the edge of her bed.

"There's nothing to talk about," she said, very uncomfortable with how close he was.

"Six months of therapy has taught me a thing or two, Blair," he said. "You're upset by what I said, I'm sorry."

"I know," she told him with a fake smile that he saw right through. "We're good, you can go. Kiss me goodnight and leave."

He shook his head as his eyes closed. "How can I fix this?" he asked, reaching for her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"There's nothing to fix," she told him truthfully, avoiding his gaze the entire time she spoke. "I overreacted, forget it, please. We boxed it up, I don't want to talk about it."

"This isn't going to be easy," he said as watched her, "Is it?"

"No," Blair said, "It's fine though, let it go, Chuck."

"What's that?" he asked, reaching over her to pull out the journal. "You still have it?"

"I read it most nights," Blair told him.

"Not the most conventional bedtime reading," he said as he thumbed through the pages he filled with his thoughts last summer.

"It reminds me how far we've come," she said. "You poured your heart out on those pages, reading this shows me you've changed."

"This is all depressing though," Chuck noted.

"Not all of it," she smiled. "We had a few good weeks that fall."

He stayed a bit longer with her, reminiscing about their good times and talking about how they wanted this time to be different and were fighting for it. With her yawns continuing, Chuck kissed her goodnight as he tucked her in, something they both got a laugh at before he departed for the night.

**January 3, 2012**

"You and Blair," Nate said with a grin, "It's good to see you two back on track."

"It's good to be back with her," Chuck told him. "Things finally feel normal again."

"You're happy, this is good," Eric smiled. Chuck laughed as his stepbrother continued, "How was France? Tell us about your accommodations."

"Yeah, did they put you in the shed?" Nate snickered.

"I had a great time," Chuck told them with a smirk. "I'm glad I went. And not that's it's any of your business, but we actually both slept in her room."

"Harold Waldorf let you sleep in the same bed as his daughter, under his roof? Not possible," Nate said with disbelief as Eric's eyes widened.

"That's what I thought, but it happened," Chuck told him. "We didn't do anything though, I'm not suicidal. Besides, Eleanor was just looking for a reason to castrate me."

"But you two are sleeping together again?" Nate inquired.

"Is that really any of your business, Nathaniel?" Chuck asked, questioning himself and if he was really ready to disclose such a personal aspect of his relationship with Blair to his friends.

"Is Chuck Bass really trying to play coy?" Eric teased. "Come on, you of all people love talking about your sex life."

Chuck remained quiet as he took another sip of his scotch. It wasn't just sex with Blair, it was making love. While he had no problem explaining the difference to Blair, he didn't want to have to explain it to Eric and Nate.

"What is it?" Eric asked seriously. "Are you two okay?"

"We're great," Chuck let them know as he stared at the tumbler in his hand, watching the scotch swish back and forth. "It's just, I don't think I want to discuss certain aspects of our relationship with anyone but Blair."

"But you are having sex?" Nate pressed. Blair wouldn't answer him either and he bet Dan two hundred dollars that they were. It was Chuck and Blair they were referring to.

"Why do you care? What's it to you?" Chuck asked.

"Nothing, I just really thought," Nate said, pissed that Dan was right yet again when it came to Blair.

"You were always a horrible liar, Nathaniel, spill," Chuck said as his eyes narrowed and he looked at his best friend. "What did you do?"

"Nothing, I promise," Nate repeated as his hand ran through his hair nervously. "Eric, how was your first semester?"

"Don't change the subject," Chuck told him. "Tell me what you did."

Nate mumbled something under his breath but the only words Chuck caught were Dan, bet, and stupid. "You better be referring to Brooklyn with stupid," Chuck said.

"Just tell him," Eric smiled, "Get it over with."

"I bet Dan two hundred bucks you were sleeping with Blair," Nate said quickly as he downed his drink and stared at his feet.

"You did what?" Chuck snarled. "I already regret this, but, why?"

"We were bored," Nate told him. "I thought it would be easy money."

Chuck couldn't help but smirk, "It was, for Humphrey."

"What?" Nate exclaimed.

"You have your answer, now let it go," Chuck said with a coolness to his tone that conveyed he wasn't amused.

Pouting, Nate remained silent. "I love college," Eric told them, changing the subject as Nate continued to squirm as Chuck shot glares across at him, finally letting his old friend off the hook with a threat that he wouldn't be so forgiving if it happened again.

**January 6, 2012**

"First you two spend Christmas in France and now you're going with him to Dubai. You and Chuck sure get around," Serena said.

"Stop," Blair told her as she saw a skirt that caught her eye and the blonde followed her, "I don't like where you're going with that statement."

"Come on, you and Chuck are all about sex," Serena exclaimed.

"Not this time," Blair told her with a glare. "And keep your voice down, I don't need everyone knowing my business."

"Have you two, you know?" Serena asked suggestively as her eyebrows wiggled up and down. "Because Chuck has been very happy whenever I've seen him."

"No, we haven't," Blair said quietly, making the blonde's eyes widen at that admission. "And keep that to yourself, we don't need everyone knowing our business."

"I knew it," Dan declared, reminding the girls of his presence.

Blair's eyes narrowed as she looked at Dan, "This makes you happy, why?"

"No reason," he said, his voice going up an octave as the look Blair was giving him sent chills through his veins.

Smirking, Blair said, "Chuck told me about the bet."

"Bet?" Serena asked with confusion.

"Nate and Dan decided that my sex life with Chuck was open for discussion and made a bet on whether or not we had slept together yet," Blair told her.

"Why would you do that?" Serena asked Dan with dismay before looking at Blair. "And why aren't you more upset?"

Blair shrugged, "That's not a concern for me these days. They didn't mean anything by it, I'm sure of that."

"We didn't, and I know you, Blair," he told her. "You've been determined to do it differently this time with Chuck, and frantic sex just because you're horny isn't different, at least not where you two are concerned. Besides, you all but told you were waiting."

"So you cheated to swindle Nate," Blair mused. "I approve, Humphrey."

"I so don't get this friendship," Serena said as Dan and Blair shared a look she didn't understand.

"Don't overthink it," Dan said as he nudged her side with his elbow, "We don't."

**January 8, 2012**

The day arrived for them to leave for Dubai. Blair received the email with their clean blood test results before she and Chuck left for the helipad. They both tried to contain how horny they were but as soon as they were alone, they were all over each other.

Only getting as far as heavy petting with some intense kissing, the helicopter touched down at Teterboro and the hurried to the luxury awaiting them in the jet.

Chuck was surprised when he saw the pilot standing where the attendant should be. "My apologies, Mr. Bass," the pilot said with unease as he looked at Chuck, "But the flight attendant scheduled to work this flight fell ill and it was too late to get a replacement."

"How could you not find a replacement?" Chuck asked with irritation that the plans he had made were now going up in smoke. "You should have, that's what you're paid to do."

"It's okay," Blair told him. "We can manage on our own. Is the jet stocked?" she asked the pilot.

"Yes, miss," he said. "With everything you asked for."

"That will be all," she said, dismissing him and leaving Chuck gaping as she went to get a bottle of her favorite champagne vintage from the fridge.

"This was your doing," Chuck accused with a smirk. He may have planned for a romantic meal followed by intense foreplay but it appeared she had planned for them to reconsummate their relationship with all the privacy they needed before the jet landed.

"I wanted you all to myself," she said. "Are you complaining?"

"That depends, what did you have in mind?" he asked.

"Well," she started, handing him the champagne and two flutes, "You can open that and pour us each a glass."

"Now what?" he inquired as he handed her a champagne flute and joined her.

"Now we talk," she told him, a devilish glint in her eyes as her plan was on course.

"I'm not sure what you're playing at, but I'll go along with it," he said, intrigued for what her next move would be.

They finished their champagne and were laughing as the jet reached it's highest elevation and they were at long last told they could begin moving about the cabin.

Taking the glass from him and placing them on the table, Blair crawled onto his lap and held the side of his face. "You know what's next," she told him, "Ready?"

"Like you even need to ask," he rasped, feeling himself get hard with how close she was. "But I did think I'd be the one initiating this."

"I'm a control freak," she stated, her thumb stroking back and forth against his cheekbone. "Did you forget that about me?"

"How could I?" he smirked. "You've proven it on many occasions."

Smiling, she pushed him back and kissed the side of his face before standing. "Where are you going?" he asked.

"To make myself more comfortable," she told him as she grabbed one of her bags before disappearing from his sight as he heard the door to the bathroom click shut.

Chuck was pretty sure she was going to come out wearing something slinky, if she had anything on at all. They both felt the sexual tension between them and now that they had the results from their blood tests, the only thing stopping them from making love again was their own restraint, which was waning fast.

He heard the door open and she came out wearing a burgundy silk negligee with matching stilettos. Her hips were swaying as she walked to where he was and stood in front of him, pushing his knees apart and standing between his legs.

"How do I look?" she purred, leaning over to kiss him before straddling his waist.

"You look stunning," he told her as his hands went to hold her hips and he realized she wasn't wearing any underwear. Groaning, he said, "But Blair, I have our suite all set up for this when we arrive."

"We can still use it when we get there, but I'm done waiting for you," she said as she began removing his tie. "It's thirteen hours to Dubai and I want to spend most of that time with you inside me."

"Look around," he said with a hitch in his voice, his tie thrown to the side as her fingers got started unbuttoning his shirt, "We don't have that much room."

"When has that stopped us before?" she whispered in his ear, her hands running across his bare chest to his back as she pushed the shirt off his shoulders. "Besides, the closer we are, the better."

His hands gripped her bare hips and he didn't know why he was trying to fight his need for her as he was hard the second she left for the bathroom. Chuck was staring at her when she pulled back to look at him. "Do I really need to convince you to make love to me? As much as I want you, I will wait if that's what you want."

"No more waiting, you can feel my need for you," he rasped, flipping her underneath him and pressing against her so she could feel how tight his pants were. "But give me a second," he said as he stood up. Confused, Blair sat up to try and see what he was doing.

"Stand up," he said when he came back with a blanket. She did but the look of confusion never left her face. "Cashmere feels better on the skin," he smirked as he covered the leather bench seat and tucked the blanket in before laying her back down. "I can't think of anything else to make this more romantic for you."

That made her smile, "Just being here with you is romantic. I'm so happy we found our way back to each other."

"I love you," he told her as she leaned up to kiss him.

"Make love to me, Chuck," Blair requested quietly as she rocked her hips up to him. "That's all I want."

"First, we need to undress each other," he smirked, his lips gently sucking on her neck as his hands ran up her sides and under her lingerie. "And then we need foreplay, lots of it."

"Now who's delaying our gratification?" she whimpered as he slipped the negligee over her head.

"I've waited more than a year to get you naked again," he said as his tongue swirled around her nipple and drew a low moan from her. "I'm going to enjoy getting reacquainted with every inch of you."

"You're such a tease," she moaned when his hand cupped her breast and his mouth moved to her other nipple.

"You know you love it," he rasped, massaging her breast and tweaking her nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

Sighing in ecstasy at his ministrations, Chuck knew who had the upper hand as he noted how the slightest brush of his lips against her skin had her begging for more.

Making his way down her abdomen, he relished being so close to Blair and kissed, licked and sucked at her skin as his hands caressed her sides, making her nipples hard again as his fingers swept against them.

"Now, to what I've been dreaming about," he rasped, his body between her legs as he dipped his head to kiss up her inner thigh. Her scent was overpowering but instead of diving in like he wanted, Chuck decided to draw out her bliss.

"This is what you've been dreaming about?" she asked, her voice hitching when he began peppering kisses around the sensitive skin of her core. Blair was already wet for him and he was going to show her how much he wanted her. "Why?"

"Because I like giving you pleasure," he drawled in the suggestive yet genuine way only Chuck could. "And you know how much I enjoy this."

Crying out, her fingers ran through his hair to pull him closer as he chuckled at her eagerness.

"You taste so good," he breathed as his tongue ran up her wet core, sending chills down her spine as she writhed against him. "I've missed it."

"So have I," she cried, feeling her orgasm already starting to build. With her hips bucking up to him, Blair's inner muscles were spasming and he was only just getting started.

"Chuck," she screamed when his lips circled her sweet spot and started sucking on it. Her cries continued as his fingers massaged her inner thighs. "I need to let go."

"Not yet," he told her as he pulled back from her. Whimpering at the loss of him, Chuck began kissing around her center and felt her muscles begin to spasm once more. "By the time I'm done, the pilot will be able to hear your screams for me."

Sucking on her swollen sweet spot, his fingers made their way up her thigh and he slowly slipped in one finger, then two. Simultaneously giving attention to her with his mouth and hands, Blair's orgasm continued to intensify.

Her cries reverberated in the cabin as her hips shook against him, a scream escaping as she sunk into the bench. Pulling back, Chuck noted, "Yep, the pilot definitely heard that."

"Wow," Blair panted with shallow breath, "That was incredible."

"What now?" he asked when he was beside her and able to whisper in her ear.

"You," she told him, her body rolling his underneath as she lay on top of him. "But I need to catch my breath first."

There was something about the way her body molded against his so perfectly, his hands laced together on her lower back as their breathing was in synch and he saw her moving slightly with each exhale of air they took.

When she was finally ready, Blair kissed his chest. "Your turn," she said as her fingers brushed over his chest hair and she made her way to his well-defined hipbones. Her thumbs ran across them as her lips went to his thigh.

"I can see you're ready for me," she said. He breathed her name and jerked his hips when she ran her tongue around his tip, blowing cool air on it and smiling when she saw him twitch.

Before he could say another word, she took him into her mouth completely. Starting to hum, the vibrations around him were bringing him close to the edge. He tried to say something but it came out as a strangled cry when she wrapped her thumb and forefinger around the base of his shaft.

He let out a low moan when she pulled her mouth off his length, her teeth scraping against him with torturous pleasure. Feeling himself close to exploding, he tried to pull her up next to him when she took him in almost completely again. With a few squeezes to his manhood, his release burst free. Eagerly swallowing, Chuck was moaning at the sight of her servicing him.

Sucking on his spent member as she gave his manhood a very gentle massage, her mouth slid off of him and she began to kiss her way back up to him, savoring how his skin felt with the taste of him on her lips.

"Why did you do that?" he asked. "Now we need to wait."

"I know," she told him with a smirk as she kissed his chest. "But now you can pleasure me again while you get ready for round two."

"So you enjoy what I can do to you?" he asked.

"Yes," she whispered, smirking when they made eye contact. Chuck had her giggling as he flipped them so he was on top before capturing her mouth with his. Their kissing intensified and could taste themselves on the other, turned on in ways they hadn't felt in what seemed to be forever.

Drawing back for her, Chuck smiled as he brushed a curl out of her eyes. "I love you, Blair, so much," he told her.

"I love you," she said with a mischievous smile, resting her hand on his cheek. "Now get to work."

His eyebrows quirked up before he was back between her legs. Skillfully bringing her to climax twice more, he positioned himself at her wet entrance when he couldn't wait to melt into her any longer.

She trembled as he pressed ever so slightly into her. Nothing ever felt as intense as this moment, the beginning they had worked so hard for. With it so close, the intensity overpowered them as they were about to be joined once more.

He locked eyes with Blair as he slowly entered her, the both of them gasping and their eyes never leaving the other. They fit together perfectly and remained still as they felt Blair conforming around his length.

"Chuck," she whined, "Start moving or I'm flipping us."

"That's tempting," he smirked as he took her hands in his and held them above their heads, "But I want to be on top."

"Then move," she rasped, wrapping her legs around his waist and pulling him even closer inside her. "Wait, this feels so good, it's okay if you want to stay still a bit."

"Is that so?" he asked with a chuckle as he commanded himself not to move. The sight of her underneath him, and the look of pure bliss on her face, made him want to get lost in the passion between them.

Rocking up, Chuck pushed her hips back down as they found their natural rhythm. It wasn't long until Blair's nails were scratching at his back and they were riding out the other's waves of pleasure. Hours were spent as they loved each other, revisiting every sensation before collapsing from exhaustion.

"My all-nighters never wore me out like you can," she breathed against his neck when her voice came back to her.

"I'd hope not," he smirked. "But this is the best way to be worn out."

"Yes, it certainly is," she yawned, curling into him as she got more comfortable.

Chuck pulled the blanket from the back of the bench and covered them with it, "I'll wake you up in time to change before we land."

"Thank you," she told him sleepily, "I want to make a good impression on your business associates."

"You will," he told her, smiling when he saw she was fast asleep. After setting the alarm on his phone, he put it on the floor once more and went back to tracing circles on his girlfriend's back.

**_Please review if you'd like me to continue. And if I haven't heard from you yet, leave a review. Lots of you have favorited or alerted this story but have yet to leave a comment. I'd love to hear your thoughts and it's very easy to do, not to mention it would really make me smile =D_**

**_So, what did you think of their first time together after rebuilding their fractured relationship? The rating was bumped so I hope you enjoyed the smut as much as I enjoyed writing it ;) After all the sexual tension in this story I hope I delivered for you all. _**

**_Did you have a favorite line or part in this chapter? Or was there a certain part you liked best? _**

**_I've also decided to start replying to signed reviews by private message =) Looking forward to chatting with you all. _**

**_Remember, more reviews = more love = faster update =) And I love detailed reviews, the longer the better. _**


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